A NARCISSIST EXPLAINS- MARRIAGE COUNSELING WITH A NARCISSIST. WILL MARRIAGE COUNSELING WORK?
MARRIAGE COUNSELING WITH A NARCISSIST. WILL MARRIAGE COUNSELING WORK?
Welcome my channel! If this is your first time seeing my face or hearing my voice, my name is Lee and I am a self aware narcissist. I’ve been in therapy for my personality disorder since 2017 and it has definitely changed my life because without it, I would have lost everything.
The point of these videos is to help bring awareness from the other side of the narcissistic *buse spectrum. All my videos give perspective on why many narcissists do what they do and the possible different reasons behind them. The victims and survivors get validation and the Narcissists (those that are willing) get to see that you can get help and that you are not alone.
1 on 1’s and all my links – https://beacons.page/mentalhealness
You can find me on –
Tiktok MentalHealness – https://www.tiktok.com/@mentalhealness?lang=en
Insta- Mentalhealnesss – https://www.instagram.com/mentalhealnesss/?hl=en
Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/MentalHealness85
Click the BEACON up top for direct links. Thank you so much and lets HEAL together
Any advice? My spouse’s therapist just died. He is losing his sh*t. He wants to attend her funeral and take me with him. I have always been an empathetic, supportive person – to my own detriment. But I’ve never met this woman. He wouldn’t dream of ever allowing me to speak with her when she was alive. I feel like remembering her with flowers or a donation to a charity in her name would be appropriate. It seems awkward for him, as a patient, to show up to a private event to join with her grieving family. With Covid concerns, I assume they may want services to be small (family and close friends only.) I carefully told him this and he blasted me for being insensitive to his connection with her. How would you handle it?
Ironically, prior to her passing, I have daydreamed about privately writing her a letter to tell her I believe he has NPD. I wanted to tell her that I appreciate her efforts and that more progress could be made if he could be honest about his challenges and behaviors. Then I imagined her asking different questions during their sessions to, perhaps, uncover the truth. But it would have been wrong of me to do that so, as usual, I kept silent.
So good, thanks Lee!!
I’m in therapy and I think we all should be. There is no way anyone alive in this world right now has not been hurt in some way by someone or event.
This was 🎯🔥 thanks as always!
Lee I really appreciate hearing from you.
Marriage counseling was just another means of manipulation , pathological lying , gaslighting, blame shifting, projecting, and playing the victim for the malignant narc ex I divorced.
He even bragged to ME that she was easily fooled by his lying
Great Question….
LEEEEEEE,🤔
TELL ME WHY DO NARCISSE GET MARRIED?
Me and my narc went to a counselor who started every session with asking each of us while sitting next to each how we were doing on a scale of 1 to 10. Dude, I always had the worst anxiety knowing I was going to be forced to come up with an answer knowing anything short of an 11 was going to come with consequences. If I was at a 3 I’d bump it to a 6 and hope for the best. I was well aware of her character defects but never connected the dots that she was covert narc. I had never heard of such a thing until recently a few months post our divorce. Of course sessions with the counselor were always way lopsided. She was always played the victim and I always shouldered the blame which I did because I accepted way too much responsibility for traumatizing her when her issues ran way deeper and longer from the stuff she brought into the marriage long before I became the problem. The counselor never picked up on her narcissist traits either and further enabled her manipulation of every situation. It got to the point at the end where the counselor basically gave her the green light to divorcing me from a biblical perspective and validated her feelings by identifying her as a victim of spousal rape. And I just sat there and took it like the good little trauma bonded codependent that I was.
For sure, if you suspect that either one of you have these narcissist tendencies you are just throwing away money at a counselor who is trying to help with normal communication issues with rational people who doesn’t understand narc behavior and it’s going to make life worse for yourself while she gains the validation she seeks from the counselor and devalues you until she’s ready to discard you.
Here’s a loaded question…. Someone told me not to tell our therapist if we suspect our spouse is a narcissist because the therapist will already think you are the problem. The narc will just feed off of it and manipulate. We are starting counseling and not sure how to go into the first session without blowing up and exposing but then having it twisted as well. Tips?
We went to a marriage counselor a handful of times, and the dude was convinced I just liked to start fights for no reason and was making mountains out of mole hills. Even went so far as to tell me I needed to be on strong medication!
I was in marriage counseling alone for 2 years because he stormed out after the second session. It does way more harm than good.
What counselors do you recommend?
Thank you for the video I had no idea that therapy counseling would not work I was dating this man I did not know he had narcissist trades not till later when he started to emotionally manipulate me love bomb me light gas me. Then he became really toxic towards me he started to control how I dress my makeup who I talk to my friends he was treating me like I was his child instead of his girlfriend. he has insecurity problems that come from his childhood with his mom like abandonment issues I dated him for 10 months and recently four months ago I broke up with him because he despised me he humiliated me he embarrassed me basically he told me he didn’t know who I was in his life anymore. Now it’s been 4 months I’ve been doing a lot of self healing. He hasn’t reached out to me but I feel like he’s giving me the silent treatment and anytime he could pop up in my life again. we were going to get married but then the breakup happened and I was left confused.
One question, what does a narcissist think of you when you’re gone, and they realise that absolutely all is said and done?? Would be interesting to hear 🙂
It was the worse! The counselor was like you need to leave🤦🏾♀️he didn’t want anyone telling him anything.
Yo, Mr. Hammock I believe, and Lived your ( Prudent take on the Effects of Therapy. 25 year Relationship, She Never Acted On, Supported Me Going to Therapy, Or Us Attending – Together or Seperate ). Spot On Thesis and Relevant View of a Narcissist " On The Run with Their Agenda Fam. Like you’ve said in Past Videos which Ring Absolutely True My Guy, ( Some Narcissist don’t want to Helped, or Treated. They are to – Enamored with Their Introspective, Self Righteous, and Willful Behavior ). Salute Brother, Take Care, and Thank You for bringing the Real Cheif.
I went to marriage counseling with a covert narcissist, at first the counselor was on her side, but then after many months of the counselor seeing me change and her not change, he put her on the spot. He said, “Look, he has made the changes you wanted, why are you not believing the best in him?”
That was our last marital counseling session. I continued to see the therapist and gained the strength to leave her. I’m happier and have more energy alone then I ever did with her.
When I look back, it’s clear of the devaluation and abuse, but I am grateful for it because I wouldn’t be who I am today with out it. I now know what NPD is what to look for, and now have the strength to walk away from a woman no matter how beautiful or intelligent she may be. I wouldn’t of had this strength unless I spent time with her.
Thanks for your videos Lee!!
So true!
Covert narcs playground right here. Especially the female! Dangerous
How do you find a specific narc counselor
Can i know the effect on the kids in divorcing a narcissist ……..i still don’t get it
It would be great to see you and Dr. Ramani try to get a database like that together.
Lee I’m basically packing my life up because I caught my narc in an emotional relationship with someone at work. Over course it was my fault because I didn’t give more or do more. Trust me I tried, offered my whole paycheck for bills, anything I cleaned or cooked was done wrong. Your videos have opened my eyes to everything. We have a 3 yr old together and neither of us want to lose time with him but therapy doesn’t sound promising based on everything I’m watching and reading. I’m tired of being blamed and her being the victim, any advice to a non narcissistic person before therapy?
I feel like I’m fighting a losing battle.
The craziest part about her new found supply, she has been telling me that I need to eat better and exercise more because I’m out of shape but her new supply is in MUCH worse shape than I am. The world of a narcissistic is mind boggling.
OMG… Leeeeeeeee….
This is sooooooooo TRUE and thankU
My Husband went n therr n LIED thru his teeth….I was like WHAT THE …😳😳😳 so why did we even get married
My ex narcissist says he wouldn’t go cause he can just manipulate the therapist. 🤦I asked but why would you want to? He doesn’t want to be called a Narcissist either. I could talk till I’m blue in the face, he either doesn’t get or just doesn’t want to.
You’re absolutely correct. Our first visit was yesterday. And my wife manipulated the whole session and, I ended up being the bad guy.
That is true. Individual counseling plus couple counseling. Never couple counseling alone – this on its own cannot work where a narcissist is involved.
The way you said, "I could have EASILY manipulated her, EASILY played the victim". It’s like it empowered you to say that. Like "you win", so to speak. Triggering. Ugh.
God bless you. The world needs more ppl like you
Min 5 TY Lee! Would ❤ a list! We went to marriage counseling. Therapist had narcissism on their treatment services page, did know about it, but never taught or explained the manipulations, even when I asked in private. I ❤ how your therapist helps you reason and do deep dives into your triggers, etc. We didn’t really get that. Therapists do have a hard job and did she teach us some things but I had to walk away when she said ‘I had it SO much better than her other clients (meaning I wasn’t experiencing physical abuse.)’ Psychological, Emotional and Verbal Abuse is still a big deal, can be life threatening. She wanted me to only communicate with my abusive husband or her about our problems (which she didn’t respond to regarding manupulations) and even asked me to stop doing my own research. She said we both watch YouTube (I didn’t know if and what she watched.) Out of respect, I never told her or asked (was afraid it would be interpreted as me trying to tell her how to do her job) but next time I think I would.
She chose not to listen to my recordings and maybe she thought we were further along in our progress than we were, and we both have rejection sensitivity. In my case, I tend to be obsessed with videos and I think she was hoping I would get happily distracted on other subjects. But when the person being manipulated and experiencing narc abuse, has few trusted people who understand, these YouTubes can be sanity savers. Even though there may be more TO the recordings, more context and yes, even it could be reactive abuse, I still think there is a lot to learn and observe in recordings. Your thoughts? Thank you!
Wow, that’s brilliant Lee!!
Dr Carter on YouTube, has links for therapy.
I agree, both people need their own separate therapy to work on themselves, in addition to whatever they do as a couple.
Thanks. I insisted we go to marriage counseling but your right not gonna work. I have either accept him as “is” and focus on changing myself or move on
She first hit me in 2013. We had one more kid after that. She was violent toward me off and on since then. Why did I stay with her?