Adult Children of Divorce Confront their Parents | The Oprah Winfrey Show | Oprah Winfrey Network

Adult Children of Divorce Confront their Parents | The Oprah Winfrey Show | Oprah Winfrey Network

Adult children of divorce confront their parents after years of pain. Divorce expert M. Gary Neuman, author of “Helping Your Kids Cope With Divorce The Sandcastle Way,” talks about what to say during such a confrontation–and how to say it. For more on #oprahwinfreyshow, visit

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Adult Children of Divorce Confront their Parents | The Oprah Winfrey Show | Oprah Winfrey Network


  1. This is why the opption of not marrying and not having kids should also be taught to children.
    All I wanted was to be a wife and mother?????

  2. I wished everyday for my parents to get divorced when I was younger cause they were emotionally abusive and horrible to each other caused me so much trauma that I hated seeing them together finally they did get divorced and I was happy so everyone is different

  3. The problem with children isn’t their parents divorce, but the children’s selfishness. I loved both of my parents enough to allow them their freedom from each other. Their relationship together or apart had nothing to do with my relationship with them. Live and Let Live. It is the society that makes these children go through this. It is the teachers that are put in their heads and in their heart. So what would happen if one parent die. I guess you would say that’s a difference and blame God.
    Learn to love because love conquers all.

  4. Peace And Blessings Ms oprah My Dad Was Very Abusive Physically Towards My mother And Me And To Baby Brothers At That time My Brother Curtis jr And Brother Marvin Sr We Had Witnessed My Dad Stripping Our Mother Naked in Front of us And He Beat Her in of us And He used To Stock her And I Witnessed Him Threatening her With a knife And I was So Very happy She let Him go


  6. I was brutally physically and mental beaten for many years of one incident is being thrown out of a moving vehicle going 70 mph. I held out leaving the marriage until my youngest turned 18, thinking it would be better on them. I endured the abuse but today, I have no contact with my children. I haven’t seen them for approx 20 years due to their anger issues. My children have never seen the abuse, it happened when they were at school or behind closed doors. They are angry with me because they believe I left THEM for another relationship, which their father tells them. The father brain-washed them with negative information so I have no contact. They are extremely angry to the point one of them threatened to kill me if I came around to see them. It’s sad but I got used to having no children.

  7. before i became a mother i would have just felt bad for the kids… now I’m a mum i feel worse for the mums. i think there’s too much pressure on mothers. as soon as we give birth we are expected to be perfect for the rest of our lives. it’s not realistic.

  8. It’s clear that this has nothing to do with divorce and more to do with the bad reactions of parents to a divorce. We have a pattern here, which is that the fathers are emotionally unavailable and narcissistic and the mothers have deep resentment and haven’t learned how to move on like men do.

  9. I’m 56 now and I was 13 when my dad left the family home, and my mum got so sick had like few days to live , it was very hard for me at that time ,and still today, my both parents still living dad remarried mum didn’t, Mums has dementia and my dad would often come and c our mum when she not to well , it’s nice that he still would come and c her from time to time, but when he left our poor mum went to pieces, but as they say its in the pass 💔

  10. Why isn’t the concept of forgiveness ever brought up in these circumstances even when the person who "wronged" you doesn’t say sorry or doesn’t think they need to apologize? It is possible to forgive someone without them asking for it.

  11. as parents, we are responsible for our kids, if we don’t understand them then we better get help to understand them even if we have to do it in therapy. when you chose to have kids both parents are saying that they are committed to the children and not themselves.

  12. Annd this is why I won’t get married. No matter how faithful you are or how much faith you put in a relationship you never know what can happend down the road in 30 years from now.. a lot of the kids suffer from the divorce and I’m not saying it’s the case for every child. Some handle it better then others. But I don’t think I can endure the pain of seeing my own kids suffer from their parents going their separate ways in the future. So I’ll stay committed with no marriage. It saves my kids future pain as compared to being separated from your partner without no marriage .

  13. When I tried talking to my mom about my feelings she invalidated everything and called abandoned a stretch… Never trying that again. Hope my therapist can just help me work through it on my own

  14. My parents separated and divorced when I was 25 – 26 and I devastated my world. I dropped out of college because I just couldn’t focus it hurts just as much now as it did then

  15. These people obviously don’t know how to cope with the disappointments of life. 🤷🏼‍♀️ Stop living in the past.

  16. Sometimes divorce is the best solution , think how it would be if your parents live with each other and they quarrel every day and have no love for each other so in this condition what kind of love or care they could give to you in contrary you will be devastated and break inside

  17. Parents should never burden their children with their pain. Parents’ divorce their spouse’s, they never divorce their children( children should be loved for who they are, whether the parents’ divorce or not), if the parent showers the children with their personal pain, that parent should get counseling. Not burden their children, 😢

  18. My parents divorced when I was 14 I understood then and I understand now so I guess I’m a lucky one as well

  19. Life must be so difficult for her second husband having to live with a wife who is still so angry about her first husband. I understand how divorce can be so difficult but for the sake of their children and their new partner a healing process must be pursued.Perpetual anger can be so destructive for your health and mental stability.

  20. As adults, it!s time to analyses what went wrong and why. Try to understand why your parents are bitter and angry. Most importantly, stop dwelling on the past…but learn from it!


  22. Some of you should be happy your parents divorced! Mine have been married 40 years and still scream and slam and punch walls to this day! My dads still a drunk and my mum still calls him every name over it .. I’m 38 years old, anytime I have to spend any time in a car or at their place, as soon as the insults and yelling start its like being 10 years old again ! At least it taught me not to raise my that way ~ I have good kids because I actually learned not to do what my parents did, funny they stil havent

  23. My parents divorced in 1988 I was 11, didn’t understand at first but I digged and digged about the cause of this. I am 45 and I hate what I found out. My mom died in 2004 yes of course I no longer give a damn because the person who betrayed and hurt mom is late too thanks God.

  24. I wish I could send this to my dad. he and my mom separated 11 years ago. but he passed away in 2020 so I will never get a chance at the closure that the daughters of the last two families had.

  25. I wish u could help me apologize and bring closure and peace to a hard part of my life I love my kids and would love to build a relationship

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