Divorce in Germany – 5 Things that Amazed This American

Divorce in Germany – 5 Things that Amazed This American

Sure, YOU COULD go watch some cute video about an immigrant marrying a German and how sweet the wedding is, but let’s be honest: A WHOLE lot of Marriages end up in Divorce So I decided to share with you some things that Amazed me when I got divorced, here in Germany. Because Knowledge is more important than cute.

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50 Comments

  1. An American woman married to a German man …I am British, lived in Germany for 3 years. American woman are cut from a different cloth. First and foremost there is no clear cut culture in USA , ( I have lived in US 30yrs). A Brit would understand Germany better AND THAT’S SAYING SOMETHING 😀

  2. Divorcing in Germany was one of the hardest experiences in my life it took 5-6 years …Division of assets was the hard part

  3. In Ireland (of all places), it wasn’t until sometime in the 1990s that divorce actually became legal. It took two attempts and the second just barely passed. BUT the couple had to be separated 4 years before filing for it. This has, within the past couple of years been changed to 2 years. It was thought sufficient time was needed for a possible reconciliation and the tearing of the sheets. Uncontested divorces could be had with "legal aid" lawyers. Name changes are simple. It’s a bit more complicated with kids and property (assets), the timing doesn’t change. Moving from one country to another is a HUGE decision and keeping your head on straight isn’t easy. You can take a person out of their country but you can’t take their country out of the person.

  4. I was hurt and heart broken when a very big problem occurred in my marriage seven months ago, between me and my wife . so terrible that she took the case to court to file a divorce. She said that she cannot continue to stay with me again, and she said "I don’t love you anymore" So she took her things out of the house and made me and my children passed through several emotional pain. I tried all my possible means to get her back, after much begging, but all to no avail. and she confirmed it that she has made her decision, and she never wanted to see me again. So one evening, as i was coming back from work ,i meant an old friend of mine who asked of my wife .So i explained every thing to him, so he told me that the only way i can get my wife back, is to visit a prophet to know what is really behind this issue, because it has really worked for other people too. So i never believed in spell, but i had no other choice than to follow his advice. Then he gave me the Email address of the prophet. prophetehiagwina @gmail .com. So the next morning, i sent a mail to the address he gave to me, and the prophet respond the following day and assured me that i will get my wife back the next day. Hopefully I believed since my friend recommended me to him, ,so we discussed and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my wife who didn’t call me for the past 7 months, gave me a call to inform me that she was coming back. So Amazing!! So that was how she came back that same day ,with lots of love and joy, and she apologized on her mistake ,and for the pain she caused me and my children. Then from that day ,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before ,by the help of a prophet . So, i will advice you out there if you have any problem contact PROPHET EHIAGWINA, i give you 100% guarantee that he will help you.. Email him at: prophetehiagwina@ gmail. com or call/whatsapp +2348139182295

    prophet ehiagwina can help solve problems such as:
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  5. So "erwachsen" wie es jetzt hier zu sein scheint mit Ehe/Scheidung, war es aber auch nicht immer. Mitte der 1970er musste mein Vater meiner Mutter noch schriftlich erlauben, dass sie arbeiten gehen darf! Bis Ende der 1970er gab es das Schuldprinzip bei Scheidungen. Ich glaube, daran orientierte sich dann auch das Scheidungsurteil: wer muss wieviel zahlen, wer hat überhaupt Anrecht auf Unterhalt. Das jetzige Prinzip scheint mir auch doch recht "erwachsen" zu sein. "Zerrüttungsprinzip". Wenn an der Beziehung nichts mehr zu kitten ist, wird halt geschieden. Ja, und dabei wird auf Balance geachtet. Je nachdem, wie erwachsen die zu scheidenden Personen sind, kommt das sicher auch gut an. Meine Eltern hatten sich Mitte der 1980er Jahre scheiden lassen. Der eine meckerte immer herum, dass er zu viel zahlen müsste. Die andere meinte, sie hätte recht auf noch viel mehr – getriggert durch Verwandte, meinen Vater doch "bluten zu lassen". Zu einem "erwachsenen" System gehören halt auch immer noch im besten Falle Erwachsene.

  6. IMO, marriage shouldn’t be taken too lightly, so some kind of pacemaking brake is fair enough. How long the cool down phase should be, is to be discussed and while one entire year is very long, I agree it shouldn’t go as easily like flushing the toilet. FWIW, the equivalent to Trennungsjahr in Austria is half a year only, and you don’t absolutley need to be registered at different addresses.
    Side note: Divorcing isn’t easy, agreed, but that shouldn’t be enough of a reason not to get married in the first place. (Disclaimer: I’ve been married for 13 years now 🙂 )

  7. Interesting. I’m single – and considering my old age – LUCKY ME! Have only heard weird divorce stories from other people. One thing came to my mind when you told your story: How did your divorce affect your legal status as an immigrant. Why do I ask? Asian women were very popular among otherwise not "marriable" gentlemen (not me, of course – LOL). After their divorce the girls would lose their resident status and would have to leave Germany. How is that with GREENCARD holders in the US? Like always – you are a great talker. THANKS.

  8. I’ve been alone for some years now, I lost my boyfriend in a car accident. I haven’t been with anyone since I lost my late boyfriend, I can’t stand being alone anymore, I want to meet a serious man to spend the rest of my life together with.

  9. thats life., or? schouldnt life be that way???? The German System, absolutly incredible!!! I Think!!! What do U say: Kommunism!!!! Socialism!!!! Or Humanism!!!!!!!! TATA!!! Just Great!!!!

  10. Hmm. I thought the "Trennungsjahr" just meant that you and your spouse didn’t have sex for a year. Yes, it is just your word against his/hers if you don’t actually move out. I made sure I lived separate from my wife one year before I filed for divorce. I figured having a rental agreement in my own name would back up my claim. Sure enough, at the divorce hearing, my ex tried to claim that we had sex at a later date. Some quick math in my head allowed me to realize that even her date was more than a year before, so I told the judge I wouldn’t dispute it just so we could get on with it. My lawyer made a big stink about my willingness to give up any claim to my ex’s German pension. I figured she worked for it, it was hers. My lawyer wasn’t even my lawyer. The lawyer I originally went to couldn’t make it that day and sent a "Vertretung." She showed up about 10 minutes before our divorce case was called and asked me to "fill her in." I still got a bill for 2800 Euros, though. Oh, another interesting aspect of a German divorce: Since I was suing for divorce, the divorce hearing had to take place in my ex’s town, not mine. Fair enough.

  11. Gemeinsamer Anwalt? Ganz, ganz schlechte Idee! Gut gemacht Armstrong.
    Joint lawyer? Very, very bad idea! Well done Armstrong.

  12. Once became divorced in Switzerland. No lawyers, just talked with the judge about "Kinder-Unterhalt" and became divorced about 5 weeks later.

  13. Fact is that mostly women get the child, stay at home and earn less. All is fine as long as the man earns the money which both can spend. So, after divorce, it is more than fair that the women, who stayed at home to raise the child, have a less paid job due to not be able to work full time, gets half of the husbands retirement money.

  14. LMAO – the moment you showed the Ducati jacket and made that comment I did fall from the chair. (I know what this stuff means to some)

  15. I go on in German because it’s very complicating and in accurate English it would cost me a whole day:

    Erstmal vorneweg, ja, wir haben hier einen irren Bürokratismus, aber das ist mir tausendmal lieber als bei euch wo es praktisch kein Sozialsystem gibt und prozentual mehr Leute im Knast sitzen als irgendwo anders auf der Welt.
    Bei uns kann seit 1945 auch kein Psychopath mehr Präsident oder Kanzler werden. Naja, der bei euch ist ja jetzt auch weg, Gott sei dank!
    Vieles was du da sagst ist nicht "typisch deutsch" sondern einfach "typisch europäisch", Guck mal nur nach Kanada, da ist auch vieles eher wie hier in Europa als bei euch.
    zu 1.) Das Trennungsjahr läßt sich auch in einer Wohnung verbringen, ist eher eine Formalität auf dem Papier, es kontrolliert auch keiner irgendwas. Ist nur dazu gedacht daß es nicht so exzessiv viele Eheschließungen und Scheidungen gibt wie bei euch.
    zu 2.) Ein Ehepaar wirtschaftet hier üblicherweise gemeinsam, deshalb werden sie vom Staat als "wirtschaftliche Einheit" betrachtet, steuerlich und unterhaltsmäßig. Finde ich gut und gerecht. Daß es im Trennungsjahr auch noch so betrachtet wird war ja anscheinend zu deinem Vorteil, also freu dich! Ist halt alles Bernie Sanders mäßig hier. Für unsere Maßstäbe ist das noch kein Sozialismus, nur "soziale Marktwirtschaft".
    zu 3.) Warum muß eine Scheidung "strittig" sein? Man kann sich als zwei vernünftige Menschen zu allem gütlich einigen, und dazu reicht ein gemeinsamer Anwalt. Zwei Anwälte kosten nur unnötig doppeltes Geld oder sogar noch mehr. Gerade das müßtest du als Ami doch wissen. Nur daß dein Ex den alleine ausgesucht hat war falsch, ihr hättet ihn euch zusammen aussuchen sollen.
    zu 4.) Das ist halt einfach der Sozialstaat hier. Dafür dürfen die gut Verdienenden halt mehr Steuern zahlen als bei euch. Wieder, freu dich doch, es hat dir geholfen.
    zu 5. ) Das ist nur bei Heirat und Scheidung so einfach. Versuch mal hier in Deutschland aus anderen Gründen deinen Namen zu ändern. Nachname ist fast unmöglich, nur wenn er irgendwie anstößig wäre wie z. B. Depp bei Johnny Depp, weißt ja was das auf Deutsch bedeutet. Auch einen Vornamenswechsel mußt du gut begründen können wenn du nicht Transgender bist und deshalb wechselst. Das ist bei euch und in England traditionell relativ einfach, wenn auch evtl. teuer. Boris Johnson hätte hier z. B. heute wahrscheinlich einen türkischen Nachnamen, sein Opa väterlicherseits war Türke.

  16. In Ireland (of all places), divorce wasn’t legal until sometime in the 1990s. It was voted down the first time, then narrowly squeaked by in the second vote. Separation and separate habitats as for 4 years (now 2) before the divorce process can begin. You want bureaucracy? Come to Ireland. Plus the Catholic Church (Jeeze Louise) had vice grips in place. A Again dear Armstrong, we have this is common,

  17. Haven’t watched your videos for a while now. I noticed that your left eye slowly starts blinking again! You seem to be making slow but constant progress after your Reha.

  18. 13:22 „one lawyer“ … if both want to divorce in peace and save money, one lawyer is enough… if you want to have a fight and spend much money you can pay for for two – some lawyers will like that.

  19. Divorce is never easy (there again relationships of all kinds can be tough going) but don’t be bitter. Bitterness is your past robbing you of your present. Getting divorced is emotionally draining, arguing doesn’t help that and being vindictive makes it worse. Your soon to be former partner is also suffering and a little compassion on both sides helps. In the Atlas mountains of North Africa life is hard and things are tough but people are still people. To get around all the arguing they have a simple system for divorce, one person’s family gets to divide all the joint possessions into two piles then the other person’s family gets to decide who gets which pile. Things are a little different there as both parties are still members of their extended family so they have that support but I liked the simplicity and elegance of their solution. Leaving the family group and setting up as a couple is something that only happens in wealthy societies (that is a relative term, for example it has been seen among Amazonian tribes people), we want to do it (privacy and all that) but it makes us more vulnerable. What we want is not always what we need.

  20. Ich bin 20 Jahre in Beziehung und habe 2 Kinder daraus. Heiraten war für uns beide NIE eine Option. Es ist ein Vertrag mit dem Staat und das wollten wir beide nicht….

  21. I’m surprised to hear the year long separation isn’t American. However I grew up in Louisiana and Napoleonic codes must be way more different than I ever realized. Also the spousal support payments were Napoleonic too

  22. One lawyer is the ecseption and is only if the couple gets along well. I would not recomend that for the „weaker“ party

  23. Sorry but I have to correct your use of the german word for "support":

    Unterhaltung means entertainment ( eg. singing, dancing, theatrical acting, playing games, etc. )

    What your mean is Unterhalt . 😉

  24. Why you get part of his retirement: As long as you married all you earn belongs to both of you in same parts. this means that even the claim to ‘Rente’ (social security) earned in that period will be shared.

    so you earn say 25% and him 75% your claim earned in these 9 years will added up and divided be two for each of you. you dont get anything for the time before and after the marriage.

  25. You can live seperate while still living in the same house or appartment, you just have to explain that you have seperate bedrooms and groceries etc.

  26. der Rentenausgleich ist eigentlich ganz einfach: jeder von Euch beiden hat während der Ehezeit Rentenanwartschaft (= Punkte) erarbeitet, von der Differenz gibt jeder 2/5 an den anderen ab!

  27. My German divorce took like 10 minutes with a judge. If you have consent of how you want to split up, it’s not that complicated. We even shared a layer.

  28. It’s the same in Denmark – I suspect it’s the same in most old Western European countries? Basically, it’s really really nice to live in Western Europe. Once the people in the US figure out that high taxes give a better life, this world will be a little bit better

  29. That was super interesting .. .although I really didn’t wanna spend my evening thinking about divorce 🙂 I love that your videos are so informative

  30. I think how long a divorce takes also depends if both parties agree on the divorce and the terms (like splitting property, child care/support etc.) or not.
    and for splitting property (I am talking about Austrian laws here, but German law usually is very similar): we do not split the property someone brings into a marriage (and any inheritance due during the marriage is considered property before marriage), but every gain during the marriage – and claims to a pension is definitely a gain acquired during this time.

  31. Some thoughts: legal speak is difficult in any language, but the German and the Anglophone approach differ greatly. German legal speak tries to assert matters neatly by avoiding "Fremdwörter" which leads to those extremely long combined words, and also by using a very monotone sentence structure, thus dulling the reader to a stupor. Anglophone legal speak is redundant and repetitive recounting any given synonym for a certain thing, and also full of words and grammatical constructions that are just not used outside legal context by anybody.
    2. The phrase "marriage is a contract" should be yelled at school kids on a daily basis so they know what they are doing. By thy way, did you guys have a prenuptial agreement?
    3. When you held up the first picture of your wedding day, I thought, like, nice dress, but the groom could be her Dad.

  32. You are not expected to really physically move to two separate locations for a year in order to be divorced. When both parties declare that you’ve already slept on the couch for a year, that’s enough for the year to apply. This exception is made for people who couldn’t afford two separate apartments in the first place. My own divorce was a matter of minutes as we both agreed to be divorced and the financial situation was not controversial. My wife had one appointment with her lawyer and I hadn’t even one, because she wanted the divorce, she had to hire a lawyer. Then came the court appointment and it took us literally minutes to answer a few questions by the judge and be divorced.

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