30 Comments

  1. As a stay at home mom, I can see this. A very valid reason, though by no means the only reason, for divorce is the couple moving in different directions. And when one is a stay at home parent this happens frequently. I often feel like my husband doesn’t realize what work I do around the house and just how monotonous that work is. I am thankful that he does, most of the time, appreciate that I think about purchases before I make them and I don’t treat him like an ATM. And we do try to make a point to sit down and discuss what is going on in our lives and our individual int rests. We still want to be a part of each other’s lives even if we don’t have many similar interests.

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  2. #1) I’m just glad she called it a gawd damn profession. THANK YOU!! Finally!! #2) If THAT’S the reason…I’m telling you…WE NEED MORE & BETTER & NORMALIZED MENTAL HEALTH CARE!!!! Spread the word (on both).

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  5. Let’s not forget the vulnerability of SAHMs. For the length of time they have agreed to stay home they aren’t building a marketable job history in the common sense.

    They aren’t building any work history for social security, so no benefits there.

    If their spouse hasn’t been financially prudent there are also likely not too mention assets or financial holdings to split.

    This leaves the woman in a very precarious and vulnerable position. Many are just one paycheck away from homelessness. And let’s not forget that many SAHMs wouldn’t have chosen to be one except for the financial restrictions on childcare or because some spouses force the issue.

    So when the spouse that’s been allowed to work and have a life outside the home wants a divorce and wants to keep all the assets for themselves, I have little empathy for that scenario.

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  6. I’m not shocked by this. But ironically this is what lots of men want. They want your lives uprooted bc you’re wholly dependent on them.

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  10. I can see this. In fact I had a coworker that was waiting for his last kid to go to college before asking for a divorce. That way it will go through faster.

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  11. But that is literally their jobs, agreed upon. She focuses on the children because that is her job. And he focuses on his career because that is his job. Because he was out there in a career, his financial situation is already set up and ready to continue. She has a job that does not pay in money but pays in legacy, therefore she has no 3-D world income coming in. It’s completely off balanced and unfair. What does he need appreciation for. Does he cry when his boss at work doesn’t appreciate him everyday. No because it’s his job. She better not be crying either, because it is her job. He doesn’t need to be praising her for every little thing. This is why divorce is ridiculous and how it devastates the children. It is crippling for these children. So selfish and immature of these "adults". I’m not a fan of Kevin Samuel’s necessarily, but a point he would always say is that having a long term and loyal relationship doesn’t doesn’t mean you are happy. It means that you are a mature adult. It means you have duty and a realistic understanding.

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  12. I was a truck driver, married a truck driver..thought he wanted a nice home to come home to…I must have understood him wrong because a Ho is what he ended up with. I signed the waiver cause we didn’t share any assets as far as kids or anything and everything else I just dumped it on the curb cause that’s mainly where I got it from 😆 I let him keep everything.
    I referred him to the law offices of Father, Son and Holy Spirit and they apparently had karma on speed dial.
    The stripper stripped him, he kept avoiding the finalization with the judge…all he had to do was sign it off…meanwhile he’s telling her he’s gonna marry her blah blah…his mom is excited about her being pregnant with twins and I’m like..yall some real nice church going folks…can we get some order in this mess please 😆.
    Well to make a long story short..he lost his job lost his truck lost everything and died of a heart attack. Since the stripper had no legal authority and his family was half way across the country, I went and signed him out of the ice box he was frozen in because I was still next to kin.
    Morgue guy was surprised when I walked up in there with the marriage certificate because nobody had told him there was a wife.
    Yeah I was the best kept secret…but the stripper had a secret of her own…the twins were half black and they were both white 😆.
    He gave my car to a church going "Friend" and all around just tried to destroy me on every level.
    Well they came and repoed the car from her.
    Yeah everybody got their share…
    Moral of the story…you can outrun the earthly judge, but not the heavenly.
    6 years later and I have a home again and I am about to pay off my truck and I’m living really nicely.
    At 43 I’m looking at early retirement and being happy.
    God is good and sometime you get tested how well you trust him and I’ve always listened even when it didn’t make sense to me.
    Turns out my ex also had a warrant out for his arrest on child molestation of his friends 7 year old daughter.
    I had worked as a school bus driver and I had noticed some red flag behavior which was also a main reason why I left.
    I had warned his friend to watch out…but the narcissistic smear campaign was already in full force and I was declared crazy for even insinuating such a thing.
    My heart is broken for the little girl, but I am at peace that this force of destruction was taken out of this world and won’t harm another soul.
    As for the stripper..she probably still looking for a cash cow baby daddy…who knows.
    God blesses the child that has its own…and I’m still good with nothing as long as I have God and I know I’m nothing without him.
    That’s my testimony 😊
    Joseph ran off leaving his coat behind and sometimes you just have to trust that God will restore you and show you a way where there seems to be none.
    For all the judges and lawyers I appreciate the hard work and the troubles you must face daily…making decisions on behalf of sometimes stubborn idiots.
    My heart breaks for all the kids involved.
    Adults should set better examples, but lots of children minded people in adult bodies running around.
    I’m playing home maker for my own self now and those cookies taste mighty good knowing I’ve put in my blood swear and tears.
    There’s a rainbow after the storm and a promise after a peril.

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  13. Well…that takes the whole concept out of being a stay-at-home mother then doesn’t it? I mean if he feels like an ATM and she puts more focus on the children, that sounds like say at least 80% of the marital dynamic if she’s a stay-at-home wife and mother and he’s, of course, the only income I would think.

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  15. I have never been and will never be a SAHM because I like having power over my finances. Women who are SAHM are commendable but vulnerable and that’s scary to me.

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  20. Stay at home moms. Phew! I can understand being stay-at-home mom works good for some women. But after the youngest child gets into an all-day School there is no reason whatsoever for her not to go back to work. Unless she’s lazy. And yeah there’s been a whole lot of Stories on here about just that situation. If nothing else there are part-time jobs that a mom can get which would be great for a little extra spending money and for some savings. You know for a rainy day, I just because or because you might desperately need it sometime in the future. And in some divorces judges will take into consideration if the children are all in school and the stay-at-home mom simply wants to stay home. She might get a years worth of alimony if she’s lucky. Most times all the court is going to allow is child support and the mom is advised to either get a job or possibly state aid if she’s allowed. Never ever should a woman allow herself to be totally dependent on her partner or husband. There are no guarantees in life no matter what you might want to believe.

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  21. as a working mom i feel guilty that i choose my kids after school activities that we can do on weekends where as some kids with stay at home parents do way more activities . but my kids also motivate me to work as i have to pay real bills. i also feel that as i earn i get to take financial decisions in out like ( like what car to buy , what type of house/vacation etc we do). Also i feel when my parents need me , i can help them as i will be using my money not my husband’s hard earned cash .

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  22. You’re so right… Seen this happen lots of times and you’re also very right cause from the few comments I see people didn’t understand you, 😂😂😂

    So for those who seem not to understand, what she’s saying is how both parties feel, it doesn’t however mean they’re right or justified by the way they feel. It’s simply how the couples feel based on statics from cases she’s done which ends up resulting to divorce.

    It doesn’t mean the stay at home mom isn’t adding value to the family or that isn’t a job in itself.

    It also doesn’t mean the divorce will be in favor of the man either.

    She’s simply just stating the most common cause of divorce between couples, the set of couples it affects the most and the reason why it is most common in such set of couples.

    One of the two common is when a man’s wife is a nurse or a teacher but the most common are with stay at home mum’s, she gave reasons why such happen and why the divorce case is perhaps most difficult/complicated.

    So any woman watching this should not forget who they are and fail to dream, accomplish things for yourselves (not just your children or husband) in life. Self love is key.

    Any man watching this should realise the value the wife brings into the family and realise feeling like an ATM machine is not valid

    Both individuals should appreciate each other go for counseling before it gets too late.

    Understanding is key.

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  23. Fr fr though, after all your children are in school, what are you doing at home…? I want to be SAHM till my kids are in school. Whilst I’m at home, have a side hustle: it’s a lot easier to do now given remote working.I refuse not to have nothing going on.

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  25. You couldn’t pay me to be a SHAM. I gotta have my own business, investments, career etc. Men are too fickle and don’t see you as valuable even if you do all the domestic labor for FREE with no days off.

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  26. I surely do not regret of being a stay at home mom ever! I’m very proud of my choices and I know how hard I always worked. I’m definitely not settle for less that I deserve on my divorce, I know my rights and what I’m entitled for after 14 years of marriage. I’m not afraid of work as well. Not matter what ladies, don’t ever quit your search for happiness. 😌🇧🇷

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  28. Judging by the title, I thought it was going to be a smear against stay at home moms. She was very respectful and spoke the facts. I think instead of this looking bad for stay at home wives and moms, let’s choose to learn from it. If both people want a more traditional household, how can they make that happen while avoiding these pitfalls?

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  29. My humble opinion and two cents, women that have never worked outside the home end up developing a bit of a god or queen complex. Because of the power dynamic that they have over their kids and husband they end up confusing the respect and authority in their home to believe that they are always right in all arenas of life and become incapable of accepting that they can make mistakes. Sure they may keep a facade of niceness but deep down this is how they behave, they are always the first to complain and demand. Women that have significant work experience start from the bottom and understand basic skills like diplomacy at work, humility and teamwork. In my opinion the experience of having bosses, being an intern, etc. humbles you and you carry that with you forever. Women who don’t have this experience in general become stunted in this sense. I’m generalizing of course and I’m sure that there are exceptions.

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