Does Marriage Counseling Work? | Dr. David Hawkins

Does Marriage Counseling Work? | Dr. David Hawkins

When it comes to marriage counseling, not all problems are created equal. Rarely is one person responsible for 100% of the problems, but neither is it always 50/50 as many people would like to believe. When there is strong denial and blame shifting, it’s hard to make any real progress and couples counseling at this point will get you nowhere.

This is the reason we have developed a process where every couple that comes to us starts with a thorough assessment where we determine what the underlying issues are and a treatment plan that in most cases does not start with couples counseling. Why does our marriage counseling so often involve working with the individuals separately? What we have found is that if there are issues such as emotional abuse, narcissistic tendencies, addictions, infidelity, past trauma, etc. these issues need to be addressed first before any kind of couples work can take place. Couples counseling will not be effective until the underlying issues are treated. Without first establishing emotional safety, couples counseling will only make things worse.

In this video, Dr. Hawkins talks about the need for triage and explains why couples counseling may not the best course of action for you.


Dr. Hawkins and his team of experts offer education and professional training as well as treatment for narcissistic and emotional abuse.

☎️ PHONE: (206) 219-0145


The internet is inundated with hyperbole and misinformation about narcissism, leaving many people confused and hopeless. Get the facts about narcissism and emotional abuse from someone who has been researching, writing about and treating narcissism and emotional abuse for over a decade.

Dr. Hawkins is a best-selling author and clinical psychologist with over three decades of experience helping people break unhealthy patterns and build healthier relationships. He is the founder and director of the Marriage Recovery Center and the Emotional Abuse Institute which offers education, training and counseling for people who want to break free of, and heal from, emotional abuse.

Whether the perpetrator of the abuse is your spouse, partner, parent, boss, friend or family member, we offer practical advice for anyone trapped in a toxic, destructive relationship. In addition to narcissism & emotional abuse, topics include covert, reactive, spiritual, secondary, relationship trauma and more.

#marriagecounseling #marriagetherapy #marriage


  1. As you know, I went through this assessment process with you and the ‘mutualizing’ was ever so evident, during that process and for the prior 18+ years of our marriage. Effective couples counseling never occurred, due to his refusal to take ownership of his side of the street and assimilating the help and information you provided him. I have come to realize the abuse was even more widespread than first thought. My safety was more important than waiting for him to get to the point of remediation in our relationship. And, I am on the path of healing without him in my life. tyvm for your help and the insights you provided me.

  2. This video is a must-watch for anyone interested in this topic. 🎓

  3. I had marriage counseling by a Methodist clergy who was director of mental health agency. because one of his counselors raoed me in his counseling room Making me suicidal. The self acclaimed marriage counselor was emotionally abusive to me a d blamed me for it. T
    the rape and the emotionally abusive unfaihful husband. Several years later the counselor was sued for the same thing he did to me and voluntarily gave up his license. Last I heard he was director of an orphanage

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