Father's Rights in Child Custody: 3 Steps For Success

Father's Rights in Child Custody: 3 Steps For Success

This video is for fathers who are going through a custody battle with their ex and want more parenting time with their children or are trying to get joint custody. It’s important for fathers to take the time to learn what they can do to enforce their parental rights in a custody case. https://commandthecourtroom.com

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However, unless you take the time to learn the basic custody laws for your state and follow certain steps, no attorney can help you. Most courts use the “best interest of the child” rule to determine custody and time-sharing.

Here are 3 Steps to follow before appearing in custody court.

1 Identify what you are going to change now that you and the parent are not together. For example, if you have traveled a lot for work when you were married to your spouse. And you have not been able to spend time with the mother or child, you need to present to the judge how you are going to modify your travel schedule so you are there for your children.

As any judge or expert will tell you, when children go through the transition when their parents are splitting up, they need consistency and stability. During your custody trial, you need to convince the judge that you will be able to provide that consistency and stability even though in the past the other parent has been the one who has picked up the lion’s share of the responsibilities.

So if you need to get a letter from your supervisor or a commitment that he or she will come to court to testify that you will have the flexibility then you need to do this. You have to present to the court how you are going to change things in the future.

2. Since you have never been the primary caretaker or you are a new father you can invest in some parenting classes to show the judge that you want to get the skills you need to give the kids the best care that they need. This may not be necessary if you have been a father for a long time, you may not need parenting classes. If you are a new Dad or have a newborn, this is persuasive evidence to show the court that you are willing to do whatever it takes to be the best father for your children.

3. Once you show the judge you are going to get the training you need and make adjustments to your life for the best interests of your children, you need to start walking the walk immediately, even before the case starts, or when your marriage is already falling apart and you are contemplating divorce, you need to do what you need to do right away.

Start asking the mother for more time with your children and you need to get on a consistent schedule that is best for them and not what’s best for your schedule or for the other parent’s schedule. You also should document when you ask the other parent for more time. You can use texts or email as evidence in court if you are asking the kids for the weekend or want to take them on vacation and the other parent is turning you down, by all means, save those texts and emails.

Start gathering your proof to show this to the judge. If your custody case goes on for a year, you need to start spending as much time with your children as possible. Start doing it immediately. Ask for more time with the children, start showing up at those parent/teacher conferences, going to the soccer practices, start picking up and dropping off your children to school or start getting involved with the pediatrician.


☎️You may Contact Wendy Hernandez at 602-230-2333 or visit


💼Wendy Hernandez is a family law attorney in Phoenix, AZ and founder of Command the Courtroom which teaches you how to handle yourself in court and achieve the best outcome when representing yourself in your divorce or child custody case.


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WEBSITE: http://www.commandthecourtroom.com
LAW FIRM WEBSITE: http://www.hernandezfirm.com

*This video recording is for educational purposes only and should not be considered as the rendering of legal advice. The viewing of this recording does not create an attorney-client relationship. An attorney-client relationship is only formed when you have signed an engagement agreement. We cannot guarantee results. Past results do not guarantee future results. Consult with a licensed attorney for information regarding the specifics of your case.

#fathersrights #fathersrightsmovement #childcustody


  1. my child mother died ayear ago n her sister put my sons in her name i was out state at work i left him with his mother n then i came to take him .. his mom died from durgs n she gave to her sister n i lost my house cuz of her n now my so is with her sister she toll lies about me that i never did in my life what should i do

  2. Wendy, this is excellent.

    Please get licensed in MO & KS. We need you, or more like you. Here. In KC as a Metro needs attorneys JUST LIKE YOU, Ma’am.

    Like COMES NOW.

    Pro Se Litigants like myself, who persevere and less so, prevail, are few and far between, I’ve come to realize. Most give up. Hope. Regardless of gender.

    Money equals power equals threats and intimidation. Human Persons of weak will…give in. Give up. THIS. CAN. NOT. BE.

    Who does it hurt? Little Ones who know not what’s going on. At all! Only discord, mayhem, interruption and malice. In their very young lives. NONE of that is A GOOD THING®, to quote that felon, Martha Stewart. I trust she’s learnt her lessons, though they are in a different matter entirely. The notion holds true. Or Spike Lee’s "Do the Right Thing." FOR THEM.

    Please also push in your Great State of Arizona, and everywhere else, for what Washington State has: Limited License Legal Technicians. Licensure to litigate, basically. On paper. Not in person, to "speak for," a Litigant in Court. Merely the "leg work." Stuff people don’t have the time, money or wherewithal to prosecute.

    Is that a threat to the money-making universe of Family Law? You better believe it is. But, if an attorney or firm thereof who stand to gain when a child stands to lose as a result of clearing Court Dockets quicker entails? Please.

    Let’s stop fooling around. WITH KIDS LIVES. Full Stop.

    #tyvm Basquino

  3. This video shows there is a bias against fathers with the courts. Guys don’t ever marry a woman. Avoid the headache and keep your money.

  4. So if I have had shared legal custody since my kid was 6 months old, and the mother is unfit based on many factors, what can I do to show the court that I am the better option? I have been taking care of kids since I was a young teen and my 3 year old literally says that he does not want to go to his moms house. I have never once said anything bad about her to my son, but he has been losing his shit since he was just about a year and a half, ever time he has to go with her. To me that spells a clear problem, and even one time he came to my home with very suspicious marks that were all nearly identical and in a patter down his leg. I had this presented to the courts and I had called CYS. I was granted temporary sole custody until the matter was resolved because the judge thought the marks were suspicious too. The issue ended up getting thrown out and she still has shared custody of my son. Something like this would have stripped all my rights away but because she is the mother they basically blew it off. I’m talking about a child that wasn’t even two years old looking like he was smacked with a rod in three spots with lines seperated by only a few inches and all in the same direction. At this point I feel very let down by the courts.

  5. How do I do it when it comes to filling taxes🤷🏻‍♂️ he lives with her but my goal is for him to live two weeks with me two weeks with her

  6. Honestly in my country nobody gets married anymore and if the couple separates the children stay with the mother and never see they’re father again and that’s it. No courts, no llawyers, no bulshit.

  7. Ive been poorly treated by my childs mother and lost custody over a false claim for ovwr 8 months now. I need help getting him back in my life. I make too much for legal aid and too less for 2000 dollar retainer to keep my attourney. gf.me/u/k92hvj

  8. Thanks for sharing your insight. It’s much appreciated. I just left an abusive relationship about 2 months ago and filed for divorce. I foolishly cancelled it after she begged me to and we pursued couples counseling. Nothing has improved and the fighting continues so im ready to refile. My wife is a stay at home mom, and we have a 3 year old (together) and a 9 yr old son (hers prior to us meeting). My goal is to get equal custody over both of them , both physical and legal. My lawyer had said that even though I’m not the biological father of my stepson, that the courts should rule in his best interest and Grant me rights. I’m the only father he has ever had and have been in his life since he was 4. My wife loves to threaten that I’ll never get to see him, and only get visitation for our daughter. She also threatens that I’ll be paying her lawyer fees as well. How likely is any of this? Do I have a chance in getting equal custody over both kids? Will I have to pay her legal fees? I am staying at my parents because I can’t afford paying her bills plus rent of my own.. will I have to prove abuse to get what I feel that I deserve? I just don’t know how bad this is going to get. I’m dealing with someone with a lot of cluster B personality traits here.. I’ve done everything with my kids. When I wasn’t working, I was spending time with them- every evening and every weekend for the past 2 years I’d go straight home and care for the kids while she sat in a different room on her computer and phone while drinking beer. I helped with the homework, ate with them , played, took our son to every sports practice and school event by myself, and tucked them both in at night by myself. Besides caring for our toddler during the day, I feel that ive carried the bulk of the load the past few years.
    I appreciate any advice here. Do I have a chance ? Is it better to settle out of court or let a judge decide our fate? I know the second I claim abuse, she’ll cry it back.. thanks. Also, Im not wealthy, so crazy legal fees are going to be a problem.

  9. I am unable to pay child support due to failing health an my son was taken out of state without telling me what can I do ?

  10. What can I do to get join custody I have not be the present household for the past 1 year and 6 month! She ready doesn’t let me see my duagther and when she does she makes her time i don’t like dat! Once in a while I asked her to let me see my duagther Saturday or Sunday she saying no she going out with me! She reall does let me see her on the weekends please help me my duagther have asked me if she could live with me! What can I do please help me

  11. you joking…fathers have no rights in family court….law/court/judges are there to destroy your family……my advice no to get married its NOT worth it

  12. My ex is planning on moving to Georgia currently from Florida we’ve never married we been separated for nine years we have an 11 year old daughter and a 13 year old daughter who we mutually agreed that I get every other weekend and I also see them throughout the week as I coach their softball teams for the past several years I keep my kids whatever they need I give my ex whatever she needs for our kids she still has not told me that she wants to move or is moving which is in within the next two months she don’t have the audacity to tell me I’d have to hear it from my kids she had a one-night stand with a 21 year old she is 35 she ended up pregnant now they have a one year old he’s from Georgia she has no family there he’s off in Washington in school only his family is there all of our families here in Florida where we are my kids do not want to leave they want to stay with me there is no meaning on them moving she’s not moving for a job not moving for the best interest of the kids the kids want to stay with her father they call my house home like I said she’s been two three four different places since we’ve split I’m still at the same place where my kids were when we split we have a mutual agreement on how much money I get for every week or whatever she needs money for I give I also give my kids lunch money buy them school clothes shoes girly items vacations etc etc what do I need to do to stop this shouldn’t she have to give me a notice she shouldn’t be able to just take my kids and leave I am really a victim of a narcissist I am always wrong she’s always right she’s in one of those type she’s with a 22 year old guy now which my kids do not like she said they always fight it’s so pleasant when he’s not around 2 months ago they hated each other and we’re splitting up like I said my kids say they do nothing but fight they’re exactly alike now they’re back together again after he left my daughter told me that they were going to get a place in Georgia my daughter asked her with what money and her response to my daughter was oh you don’t know the money that he’s going to be making when he gets done with school hmmm gold digger… like I said this is the third guy she’s been with since we split in a relationship with. please help I have two months to help my kid get out of the situation they do not want to go there’s nothing there for them a family no friends there’s nothing there for her no job no family you just his family my kids really want to stay with me please get back with me thank you like I said I do way too much for my kids for her to think I would say goodbye to them I’m not going to let them go to wear a 21 year old will be trying to Father them he’s way too young and very immature yes she had a one night stand and yes my kids do not like him at all they also have that love hate relationship with their mother what do I do to stop this right away I need to help my kids I asked my kid I told them if I didn’t do anything I would expect them to think of me as a piece of crap father what’s that would never happen like I said I give her and my kids with everything I need I’m always early with the money we agreed on giving her every week plus more lunch money Recreation money take them on vacation by them school clothes on top of giving her the money she also asked me to split mostly everything with her which I do she really gets a lot out of me definitely more than she should I think a lot of people would hate her if she did this to me knowing the father I am to my kids please help……

  13. The custody hearing is as much of a dog and pony show as the child support hearing where the lawyers refer to the hearing officer as Judge and Your Honor. The child I pay an on going ransom for was alienated from me for the first 5 years of his life before I was served to go to court, I was sending money to the child’s mother, but she wanted to get it in writing that she had full custody, so the clerks told her that she needed to prove DNA, so after 2 and half years of total alienation, I received a phone call from the mother, she asked me if I wanted to visit Nick, I said I sure, I then asked, "does Nick have a bike?" she said no, I said, "don’t say anything to Nick, I will surprise him with a new bike". After visiting with Nick for about 30 minutes, Court Process Server Steven Collins corners me in the mother’s townhouse, threatens me with being arrested if I don’t appear in court. I appear in court with a lawyer;  Mike Schmitt walks me right into a Title IV-D contract. Then Law Guardian Ella Van Loon suggest that I start out with 6 chaperoned visits, which was not necessary, this was to create an illusion that I was unfit, no evidence, no trial, just her bull-sh-t recommendations. Then she recommends 6 hours on Saturday and says Deanne is willing to let you see Nick for 2 hours on Christmas. And in six months I could have sleep overs with the child.  No holidays were written in this piece of garbage court order. And the language states, "if agreeable by both parties"  I was right back to being alienated. Fighting this in these kangaroo courts is not going to get me far. I filed a Petition in 2016 regarding the alienation, the first thing the referee wanted to do was appoint a law guardian; it is the law guardian who staged this for me to lose. I just did not bother with it. My entire case is a joke.

  14. What about it’s not in the agreement that they are following word by word that you only get a certain time and that is strictly what they follow and that is the reason why they won’t let you have more time with the child

  15. In many situations such as mine, the child is with the mother all the time because the mother is simply alienating the father from his child, and if you make an effort to see the child, you have to deal with the abuse from that parent. This also goes for some fathers who are alienating the mother as well. I have been alienated since the child’s birth 16 years ago. And it is not getting better. That ATM CARD that gives the mother access to my money is the big problem. I have no leverage

  16. I just got a letter in the mail saying I owe a yearly fee now. Of 25 bucks a year, so in total I owe fees of 100 for 4 years.
    I’m already paying monthly almost 500 bucks on CS.
    I’ve never once gotten to meet my son. She wouldn’t even give him my last name.
    Another sidenote. The CS that I’ve been paying is off what I used to make before I had my accident. I’m now on SSI because I can’t work. I have a severe TBI. The CS is just over half of my monthly income now.
    My sister has 2 kids with her ex. She’s lucky to see 100 a month from him for my nieces.
    But here I am stuck paying almost 500 a month for one kid.
    This is some bullshit.

  17. I suffered my whole life when my mom lost that custody battle, i love my dad he does nothing wrong, but I can bear life with no dad, but with no mom, i’m stuck, I loved her so much kids should get to testify in the custody battles.

  18. Unfortunately my ex won’t do that. My ex hasn’t done anything that was ordered. I love your advice my ex hasn’t done anything in the best interests I’m in conjugal abuse and the kids It’s difficult

  19. My children are still very young. 8,6,3 and 1. It’s been two years with minimal contact between my oldest daughters. And my three year old. My son who is one I have never met.

    Their mothers have a history of tricks, manipulation and dishonesty as far as concerns my involvement with the children. They are dropped off early or on time and not picked up unless it is on her terms.

    Contact between their mothers and I are normally me being very open honest and genuine. Their responses to me are man bashing, consistent trash talking my life my wife and my ambitions.
    Meanwhile I reserve my resolve, and just dream up ways to solidify parenting time.
    I feel like ceasing contact and having minimal contact for the last two years is going to work against me. But I also feel like since this is early in my sons lives I’ll be in favor there.

    All that I am after is parenting time with less parental contact (me and mom don’t get along well) my children love me and I love them. Which would be easily displayed if they were asked or if we saw one another.

  20. What if i was the primary care taker? She hated taking care of my daughter, she would cry with her alot so I went partime a few days a week and she worked full time.

  21. My baby mom won’t allow my kids to receive gift from me , she wants money only? I feel that wrong I should be able to give my kids Christmas presents instead of giving her money, how should I go about that

  22. I was the primary care giver as s stay at home dad, and she is neglecting care of the kids when they are with her. What is the best course of action to ensure the safety and custody of the kids

  23. What if I live in Australia and my kids lives in New Zealand? How the hell am I going to be able to spend more time when they are a 5 hr plane flight away ? I really want to but feel like I’m hitting a brick wall

  24. What if they took off to a different state without permission or consent, I am able to see my kids, she put a restraining order on me so I won’t see my kids but I am able to see my kids, I have no court order that says I can’t see my kids, they took off without consent so I f I go to court can I make them pay transportation because they moved out of state without consent, it’s not my problem they did there action without adknowledgement , violating custody agreement threw penal code without both consent

  25. Thank you for your wisdom ma’am ! Sincerely a concerned loving caring daddy / Papa that only wants what’s best for them !. Paul Hampton~.

  26. Doesn’t this go for a mother aswell? The reason why a mother is able to be a mother is because of what the father did on his part. It takes two to raise a child. Now that a mother is single and now a single parent what can she bring to the table? You just said we both shared the responsibility so now she is alone how can she play a fathers roll or provide what the father had provided? A healthy child must have both a father and a mother in their life. There fast to ask the father what can he do, This should also go for the mother aswell. A father is no less than the mother. A father loves his children just a much as a mother and will do anything for their children.

  27. I am getting ready to go to court and sought legal advice. I appreciate your advice. I was absent in my children’s lives for 3 years. I own it! There are underlying conditions. But my love has never stopped. I have my life together and pay my child support and tried to contact my children. One phone call and she blocked my contact. All I wanted was to slowly progressive get in contact. I was advised to make a call every day to try. And I am. I love my children. Divorce is tough especially when your children call you by your first name and the step dad by daddy. I went into a deep depression and withdrew contact from the entire world. The only thing that saved me was my eldest daughter and son contacting me and telling me that they love me and to get back their brothers. As of today I am perusing legal action. I haven’t smiled this much since my divorce. My attorney advised me to call every day since she won’t answer my call and try. Alienation is real and it not only affects your children. But it also affects you emotionally as well. Always remember there is a light at the end of a dark tunnel, even if you can’t see the light at the end halfway through.

  28. And what happens when I do all this but the woman lies about the fathers. Nothing cuz the legal system is biased towards mothers and always has been. I been fighting to see my son for three years

  29. I asked my sons mother and she won’t let me see him at all and only time she talk to me is to see who I’m in relationship with and when I make it about my son she cuts it off right then and there. She even told me if I didn’t marry her she would keep him from me and I’m still waiting to see him but now I have a attorney so I can’t wait to be in his life and do things. She don’t even have him doing anything or getting out at all. I offered to help with clothes and meds and she said " I have 3 kids I been doing it all alone I’m a single married mom" but yet I offer help and she turns my offering down

  30. Keep in mind that the law is a complete ass and that the courts are a lawyers’ paradise and are only for those with deep pockets and that all men are bastards and you will be just fine.

  31. My court case has just started and I currectly have set visitation 2days out of the week, can I ask for more time? Can she give me time outside of the temporary court order? I’m in Texas.

  32. I understand your point.
    Although what happen when the ex moved 100 miles away from there home town with the children
    I must say it’s quite difficult to hold a great relationship being so far away. Thanks

  33. It’s simple, create equal parenting, eliminate child support under false pretenses and have follow up court dates. I’m for equality not here on biased agenda, nor sexist, just equal.

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