How Divorce Affects Children

How Divorce Affects Children

“People shouldn’t stay together for the sake of the kids. The kids are going to be fine.”

We hear this ALL THE TIME.

Maybe your marriage counselor told you this.
“Don’t worry about the kids, you need to make yourself happy. Kids are resilient.”

But, if we’re being honest, how does divorce affect children?

Well, Dr. Joe Beam is one of those people who did divorce his wife and leave his children, many long years ago. And then Joe and Alice and remarried after three years of being apart.

To this day, Dr. Beam can still see the effect on the children that they had at that time.

Join Dr. Joe Beam & Kimberly Beam Holmes as they discuss the TRUTH behind how divorce affects children.

0:00 Divorce Affected My Own Children
1:25 How Divorce Can Affect Children
3:12 How Divorce Effects Children’s Performance In School
4:12 Divorce Increases Hostile Behaviors In Children
4:35 Divorce Increases Likelihood Of Sexual Promiscuousness
7:06 Father’s Often Becomes Absent After 1 Year
10:48 When Children Grow Up After Parents Divorce
11:48 How Staying Married Helps Children Flourish
13:35 Parents Involving Children In Divorce Details
15:00 Considerations Before Choosing Divorce

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  1. There are gross generalizations here, talking about worst case scenarios. And could you please provide your references so people can interpret the data themselves.

  2. Great video! This is so rarely covered yet such a crucial part of a divorce! We took our kids on a rollercoaster through our divorce and wish we had taken more time to find help and advice like this!

  3. How much does the broken family court system contribute to these issues? Intense support battles? The divorce mom making their child a confidante??

  4. My parents separated when I was ten and divorced a couple of years later, due to my father’s infidelities. It was devastating for us kids. Being the oldest, I took it up on myself to protect my sister from the crude details. It made me grow up so much faster. It was devastating to see what it did to my mom and to us. The impact of it still resurfaces in different ways & at different times….The odd fact is that I fought with all my might for my marriage. It was my husband who asked for a divorce after his infidelity and it has affected my kids significantly even though they are in their 30’s!…

  5. My husband of 14 years abruptly and without warning ended our marriage due to a secret affair he was having. This left our 2 pre-teen daughters absolutely devastated and I was so upset with him for that. Our girls were at such a vulnerable age. My youngest to this day displays the negative effects of his action. His affair was married too with 2 children. They obliterated 2 families just to see their relationship last little more than 1 year. Ugh! 😞

  6. I’ve tried and fought hard for the last two and half years but my Wife hasn’t been putting in the effort in that time and has also cheated. I forgave her but as of now she’s cheated again and is about to abort a kid by the person but she doesn’t know I know. We have a 8 year old together and been married 8 years together for 11 but we’re gonna make sure we are the best Co parents to make sure the divorce doesn’t affect our son at all. We have great family support on both sides as well. I would’ve loved to have my family forever but at this point I’m done giving grace.

  7. Thank you for this show with this subject.
    Childrens suffer for a very long time, and in some cases the negative consequences are to costly, and it’s not talked and study enough.
    Thank you.

  8. Thank you for sharing this information. I think most people completely ignore the effect of divorce on the children. I was young when my parents divorced and it really affected me. My wife and I are separated and about to be divorced (prayers appreciated). It kills me to see all the problems it’s brought to our kids and the pain it will continue to bring. Also, thank you for sharing the concept of divorce not even being on the table. If it’s not an option, people will work things out. That’s the way God intended it from the beginning.

  9. It’s incredibly true, I will say, but divorce also has some advantages, such as seeing new areas, having a special bonding time with one parent more, but long term and short term it’s also terrible. But it depends on the child at this point. The child would also have to deal with most likely more heated arguments and that could also slowly lower the joy of ones child.

  10. My Dad abandoned my family when i was 12, he left for drugs and a perverted relationship with his 1st cousin. Half my family on my dads side agreed with his decision. Alot of blame was put on me. I tried killing myself over 28 times. I thank God for saving me. My father in Heaven is the best dad I could ever dream of. I wish the best for my earthly dad. I call him time to time but i love him from a distance. I cannot support that lifestyle. Jesus is my Brother, Holy Spirit stick close to me and I love him so much. I pray for my Lost Family. I want everyone to experience the living God and Freedom.

  11. The ex wife claims abuse online but admitted to me in text there was no abuse, because there wasnt. I love how women claim this falsely, making abused women less believed.

  12. Wow, this was an incredible video! Thank you so much for sharing this content – this message needs to be heard! My parents divorced when I was 15 years old and it was a very hard situation. It’s been 17 years since they divorced and I notice how it STILL affects me and my own marriage (specifically with attachment issues and handling conflict in a healthy / productive way). Thankfully my husband and I are working through it – praise Jesus! I’m so thankful I’ve had my faith in Christ to lean on and guide my thinking / actions. Surprising, it’s only been in this past year that my mom and dad have been able to get along when together in the same room (another HUGE praise because they’ve been in "high conflict" for so long!).

  13. I agree about the female children looking for make attention because unfortunately more men leave then women -I’m dealing with the fallout right now

  14. How has divorce affected you or someone you know in your life?
    Share your stories below.
    And if please consider attending one of our Marriage Helper Workshops with over a 70% success rate!
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