How do I handle the grieving process of my divorce? — Susan Winter

How do I handle the grieving process of my divorce? — Susan Winter

Candice writes, “Hi Susan, I’m a HUGE fan of yours and I think you hit the nail on the head every time you dole out advice. My question has to do with divorce. I am going through a divorce now and I would love some advice on getting through the grieving process, how to stop questioning whether or not you made the right decision and the best way to put yourself back out on the dating scene again. Thank you!”

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As seen on OPRAH, bestselling author/relationship expert Susan Winter (Allowing Magnificence and Older Women/Younger Men) writes, speaks and coaches on evolutionary forms of loving partnership and higher thinking. Media credits include: THE OPRAH SHOW, THE TODAY SHOW, GOOD MORNING AMERICA, ABC/CBS/NBC EVENING NEWS, CNN, BBC, COSMO, HARPERS BAZAAR, PEOPLE, FORTUNE, BUSINESS INSIDER, NEW YORK MAGAZINE, THE LONDON TIMES, and THE NEW YORK TIMES. In radio, Susan is a frequent guest on NPR, ABC, PLAYBOY RADIO (Sirius), and CBS NEWS RADIO. Her articles can be found on THE HUFFINGTON POST, and THE GOOD MEN PROJECT.


  1. I filed for divorce and the next weekend I hooked on line and got laid . Never felt better. That was 19 yrs ago.

  2. Gosh… Yes yes and yes… I wish I knew that when I was going through my divorce I grieved for 2 years… Had an In counselor 2 times a week for 6 months…. I look back sand it was the dreams and hopes I’d been striving got along time

  3. Hi Susan! Thank you so much for this. This has helped immensely! You are absolutely right in that the grieving has mostly to do with the dream of what could have been. I invested so much time and years of my life trying to make it work, and I love what you said about the universe bringing this disruption in order to start a rebirth. I truly believe that once I find my new self, I can create the partnership that I’ve always wanted with someone. Thank you – you are the best! Candice

  4. It’s so hard for me right now because I lost that dream, the vision we shared and I have no idea what MINE is now that we are separate. We were together for 6 years and they left this past January. I’m hurting so much. I just found this channel 30 minutes ago and I’m already here crying because the videos are already helping me unpack what I’ve been stuffing down for the past 5 months…. I’m going to find a new therapist and get back into therapy for sure.

  5. It isn’t your dream that you are missing after a divorce/break-up it is yourself, your true self, the self that you sacrificed for the sake of the marriage/relationship – all you need is yourself, then if you happen to be in a position to relate to somebody else all well and good but if you can’t then you are still happy anyway so if you want to be content and be able to relate to others then first recover yourself.

  6. We can still build the dream that they make in their marriage and even after divorce and usually, men or woman see their mistakes during separation and have learned in what needs to be changed, If either one moves on, how will they ever know that the dreams they made previously can still be fullfilled with their ex. I still love my wife and i could’nt force her to say and give us ONE last opportunity as i’ve awoken from the man I was before, but how will she ever know that what i’ve learned could’ve given us a new foundation with love stronger than before. Love is stronger the second time around.

    I even told my wife that she has no idea how separation/divorcce can make husband do the greatest things in working on change that the man they were divorcing is no longer the same man as before. I told my wife if she could ever provide me with the smallest bit of trust and coming back to a marriage with a new foundation, shed be amazed at what i’ve learned. I also told my wife that i’d even print out all the text messages, emails, etc, put them in a 3 ring binder, and every day i wake up i’d open the binder and read the messages that gave me the fear of losing the woman i loved for 7+ years in our marriage which would cause me to treat ever day as if i was going to lose her again. My God you don’t know what i’d give to be able to sleep and wake up next to my wife once again.

    I’m not trying to be selfish but I want her to continue that dream with me, not someone new. I’m not hating on this video, just makes it hard to hear as i feel like you were speaking to my wife through this video. Wives just don’t understand that when you threaten to leave or divorce their husbands, the ones who truly get up and get working are the ones that know your value to them and become husbands their wives had wished from them. Of course they should already be the hsbands our wives wished or wanted us to be but I am guilty myself, I got complacent and lazy. But that can be changed easily. I tell my wife all the time that she has no idea how many videos and articles i read to help me in fixing myself to become the best version of myself beyond belief that she’s missing out on a man who provides her the ability to gain control over him in being the husband she’s always dreamed of, but for my wife at least, she feels that spending more energy into someone else is better than spending just a tad of energy into her 7+ year marriage and see how it can easily become the best version of our marriage than she’d ever would’ve thought.

    I woul just like the opportunity to try one last time and if i don’t fullfil our dream together, I won’ fight to keep her anymore.

  7. Well my dream was tu create a family.. after a Divoce you can’t have a family again unless you have more children with a new husband.. but those kids will carry the burden… so again if you can’t have more children then you can’t create the dream again 🤦🏽‍♀️

  8. If he truly loved you, he would leave his wife and put his ALL into being with you. No excuses. Same goes for the wife. He is the one who does not deserve his man parts in a situation like that. I’m glad you can see .

  9. The loss of a dream. Yes. Thank you Susan, this might be the best video of yours I’ve watched, and I’ve watched a lot.

  10. You are so profoundly spot on. It really is a pleasure listening to the professional insightful person that you are.

  11. Hi Susan – once again you NAILED IT……you are THE BEST at what you do and as so many others have stated, you are so insightful and practical, it makes SO much easier to move forward and take care of yourself. THANK YOU FOR YOUR VIDEOS!!!!!

  12. Wow! As a grief counselor I can attest to everything you are saying, and the loss of a dream is SO profound and so critical to the healing process. Thank you for encouraging others who are not in the throes of divorce to hear this most important aspect of a committed partnership. You are one of the few experts I have heard address this. Excellent–Outstanding!! Bravissima!

  13. Interesting topic. For me there was no grieving just a sigh of relief that I escaped a very bad situation. Yay!!

  14. I just had my final divorce hearing today. She came right out the gate with the "loss of the dream" that’s exactly what I’ve been weeping about all afternoon!

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