How Fostering Affects Our Marriage

How Fostering Affects Our Marriage

Discussing the impact of being a foster parent on your relationship with your partner. We talk about the good and the bad and how we’ve handled things that come our way.

✅ Video audited 8/16/2021
In this video we talk about our experience as foster parents and speak in general terms and hypotheticals.

There is always a need for ❤LOVING❤, 💪SUPPORTIVE💪, and 🕒PATIENT🕒 foster parents who will ⚖ADVOCATE⚖ for the kids placed in their home. We hope that by us sharing our journey as a foster family, that it inspires others to learn more. Contact your county, foster care agency or visit to learn more.

⭐ Please consider granting wishes to children who are in foster care by visiting One Simple Wish: ⭐

Connect with us on our social media platforms and check out relevant links:​

Be The Village
P.O. Box 348
Maineville, OH 45039


  1. I agree with couples therapy before fostering! I am pro therapy for everyone!
    And so many good discussions after trainings. Good open honest communication is so important!

  2. What would you do if a foster placement only felt comfortable around one parent? Like, if Miss A only felt comfortable around Whitney, so she did not want John to take her places?

  3. You two are such a great example of how spouses should treat each other. I love videos with both of you like this. 🙂 Also, Whitney, you look fabulous! (Always, but particularly in this video).

  4. I’m in the same boat, no one wants to watch 6 kids. We don’t get date nights right now. I know it’s just a season

  5. I love the blonde in your hair whit 💜 & my husband walked in like why you watching that, we agreed no kids 5 years ago after ttc if we adopt any kids it’ll be your niece & my nephew out of their homes because their moms are trainwrecks & I said uh I’m not looking into adopting 💀 I just watch anything she puts out shesh 😜🤷🏼‍♀️😆

  6. Thank you so much for talking about the ups and downs of fostering and the impact it has on your relationship! I think a lot of people go into it not realizing or not fully thinking through about that sort of stuff. ♥️

  7. Okay, John talking about the things Whitney does and so he knows that he needs to try his best to find other things to do for his share. Men/partners listen!! 50/50 relationship!
    I know personally many couples where this doesn’t happen and it majorly negatively affects the relationship no matter if you are fostering or not. Modeling healthy relationships A++
    This is just a really good relationship advice video in general.

    Also, I would like to say that people are allowed to feel and have feelings. That means if you are waiting on a placement and have feelings about it – it is valid. That means when you have a placement and have feelings about it – it is valid.

  8. I’ve literally been watching the Cincinnati Picker and this channel on and off for like a year and I just realized 🤦‍♀️🤣🤣 to be fair I usually just play videos on in the background while doing other things. Love you guys!

  9. Ok so I knew Whitney reminded me of someone. Well I went to a birthday party today. And seen my husbands aunt that I haven’t seen in years! And I was like woah. Whitney??? Lol it wasn’t her. 😂 her name is Jackie. And when I say husbands aunt. She’s not old lol she is 1 year older then my husband lol

  10. I am 19 and currently in university, but I definately want to look into fostering when I am older and financially stable. ❤

  11. Growing up we knew that if one parent said no that was the final answer. If we went to the other parent to try and get a different answer then we were in trouble. 😂

  12. ❤ you guys! You give so much. The amount of patience you have is amazing. I also love how much you want to share your love to all of the kiddos!

  13. I chuckled when you mentioned getting sitters for 5 kids. As a teen I babysatt for two nights for a couple in our church who had 7 kids. The first night was awful…one down, two up, get them down and two others were up. When some of the kids were still awake when mom and dad got home and I told them what had been going on the dad just said, "bed" and they disappeared. The next night, when I said it was bedtime, seven bodies disappeared and I never heard another peep. And no, they were not the type of parents to have spanked the kids or anything like that. I admire you for wanting to take on three foster kiddos at once. That’s a giant leap, but you seem to be doing well with it. Best wishes.

  14. I totally lost it when John said wrinkle & u said iron it out. Hilarious. Kids can play one parent against the other , & parent against grandma. My 2 granddaughters do that to my son & me. Most of the time they come to me ,grandma instead of their Dad. That’s because he says go ask Ma. They have went back & forth between one would send them to the other & get sent back to the other. Parenting & grand parenting isn’t easy. You 2 r wonderful. U r doing a great job. Know it’s hard having 5 now but u can handle it . Organize ♥️♥️♥️♥️

  15. Your mentions of making boundaries with family members who had less than stellar reactions to your role as a foster family was an important point. 💛

  16. I see so much of my husband and myself in y’all. I like to be the one in charge with making decisions, appointments, etc. and my husband supports me however he needs and asks how he can help. As you know, we are in the licensing process and I have really enjoyed being able to really delve into conversations about foster care with my husband in our counseling sessions.

  17. I am far from fostering, but I’ve been considering it more for my future. I never, ever thought about problems with extended family. I have cousin much older then me who didn’t have great childhoods. Now, one of them has his own children who nearly got taken by DCS. A couple other of them smoke. And two others do god knows what. I’ve been around them all my life at family gatherings and what not, and I love them, they’re my cousins. But I was raised very differently than them. I was never unsafe around them. Some of my best memories are with my older cousins. But I never even considered that having children who do not belong to me around them may not fly with the county.

  18. Omgosh Whitney, that cracked me up on the tips. I feel like with the all of the groups we are part of (I know we have at least one in common!), I don’t want any tips anymore either! We have been doing this long enough that I know there are too many opinions out there and everyone thinks they know the "right" answer/way/how ffy adoptees feel/how all bios feel. Its draining. I recently unfollowed a couple for that exact reason! No tips please! Just love and understanding 😉

  19. I’m a foster moma of three and I’ve been watching you since your first video but this is my first time commenting. You’re statement “I love y’all but I don’t want tips” is my whole life right now 🤣 thank you for saying that so explicitly. I don’t want parenting advice, I have hours upon hours of parenting training and hands on experience… I want a tuna noodle casserole, I want an atta girl, I want you to come over and “watch a movie” with us while I incognito take a nap and you make sure the kids don’t commit murder or arson. I want you to pray over me in ANY religious setting you can find, pray to God, pray to Jesus, pray to Allah, Buddha, Thor, and Oden. Send me crystals and good juju but for the love of all aforementioned deities please don’t give me anymore tips bc my mental filing system for tips is not only full but busting at the seems.

  20. Whitney you are looking EXTRA pretty today!! 😉 I mean you are a beautiful young woman already, but you just were shining in this video! You made me laugh when you said you didn’t need any tips Haha yeah ppl can go overboard with them lol. Loved this video even though I’m not a parent or married I’m still quite young but so are you and you inspire me I love your cool & down to earth personality. Much love, Heidi (*former foster kid*)

  21. Y’all make it look like a breeze, and while I know that your journey is far from an easy walk in the park, it is very evident that you do your best. Just remeber: these kids don’t need you to be perfect. You’re gonna mess up, someone is bound to get yelled at, and you’re going to find yourself in the bedroom closet with a bottle of wine crying because you just can’t take any more that day (I’m a single guy with no kids and I have a spot in my closet for my moments), and that I’d okay. The kids just need you to keep showing up, to keep loving them, and to keep doing your best. You guys are rockstars, and you’re doing great. We don’t see behind the scenes but the genuine goodness of your hearts shines through.

  22. Thank you for this!! My wife and I are in training right now and it’s compelling but so intimidating.

  23. My partner and I are starting foster care training next month. I really hope we can be as kind and supportive of each other as you two through this journey .

  24. Watching your blog and saw John come on and realized hey I know him. Went to school with John (Johnny at the time) ha sm world. Keep the info coming love it!

  25. So glad you two seem to make a great team for the benefit of everyone in your family! If only everyone could have such a healthy, loving example!

  26. First of all, thank you so much for this channel. I have learned so much but this is totally not going to have to do with foster care…
    Your husband has reminded me of somebody who I couldn’t place until just this moment … Freddie Freeman. And I see that you are not Braves fans, but they look a bit alike but really if you watch Freddie’s mannerisms in interviews, I feel like you would see what I’m talking about.

  27. some people don’t how much people like you & John are really needed it is very hard for children if there is not a option of a foster home like you guys have i was in foster care once cause my mom was unstable i loved the foster people they were so great some of the times when i was a child i wished i was in a foster home because i was abused very badly My mom was to but all of us kids suffered also there were times we had to live in a car one time during the winter we were staying in a carvels ice cream truck sleeping on the floor with blankets we were on the run & hiding not from my Dad but my brothers dad he would beat us all the time i got beat with 2 by 4s kicked across the room at 3 because i couldn’t tie my shoe right & i was kid by a 550 pound biker those are the times i wish i was with people like u Or the foster parents i once had very bad life of course i grew up & became a father myself to 3 daughters which are now grown & all working & on there own i made sure i took care of them the way they should be cause i know what i went thru when i was little it was terrible there was even a time that this biker guy my brothers dad locked me in a room & didn’t let me out he was telling me my mother wasn’t coming back because she was dead but really she was trying to set up for us to get out of the situation when she came back i was so happy that she came back to get me of course she had to call police to get him to release me he didn’t even want to release me but his other son made him i know without people like u kids suffer even if they go into a home home that the state runs sometimes they suffer people like you & john that open your home to children you don’t even know are a god send in my eyes love your videos i watch Johns also

  28. In the UK, children in care have an annual health assessment, (under 5s its 6 monthly) with a specialist health team. This ensures that the children are taken to GP, optician and dental appointments. This is also a way to assess how the Foster Parents relate to the child and FP can ask the nurse about any health or behaviour issues. Do you have anything like that available?

  29. Also, I love watching Jon’s channel. It must be difficult to be Cincinnati Picker and still considering kiddos

  30. I think that it’s good for every child to see healthy arguments and also that some of it does happen in front of them. Kids always know when something is off and hiding it and pretending that everything is rainbows and butterflies can not only give them unrealistic expectations but it can also make them paranoid because they know something is fishy but they don’t know what so they try to look for clues and everything. Of course, not all discussions are child appropriate but most topics are

  31. Maybe a weird question, but are you all concerned about the incoming cicadas? Is that something you’ve had to talk about or explain to the kids?

  32. It never even crossed my mind that foster kiddos couldn’t just be babysat by anyone. Makes sense though

  33. It sounds like foster parenting really can bring out the strengths AND the weaknesses of your partner and your relationship.

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