34 Comments

  1. Thanks for helping me work on dispelling my notion that we have to discuss everything before marriage. Learning to resolve conflict, agree to love God and honor His Word, agree to disagree on some points and compromise on others seems to be a much stronger foundation than forced agreement on every point… if a young couple cannot compromise on maybe 4 kids instead of 6 or 2, they have a lot more priority on themselves than their relationship or each other. A “pastor” that mocks that instead of confidentially helping them resolve it and be stronger together to find out how to resolve issues is why I’m super doubtful about premarital counseling… (and in that case maybe they had other issues too, but seriously…)

  2. How much can you spend is a ridiculously arbitrary question. $30 can make or break some poor folks, $30,000 may be a blink to others.

  3. Recipe for disaster if you think you have to agree on everything… the verse referenced simply means, you can’t walk together unless you agree to walk together, not that you have to first agree about everything in life in order to walk together… 🙄

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  6. 1. Love the part about answering separately. That sounds like the best way to do it. Some(many even) may not even think on these things. Only on hormones.
    2. All churces should do this. No matter the denomination of the church. Like a requirement before continueing on to the ceremony.
    3. I liked the questions he had. I’ll bet he covered like everythig that would be important in the long run.
    4. I believe more marriages would have a way better chance with something like this. Help to bring the divorce rates to 0% in the church. Like it should be.
    5. I hope this catches on and helps people make choices not just based on feelings (like I just love them. My heart goes pitter pat.) Thier is the life after the honeymoon. The ‘let’s get real’.
    Reality.
    6. God bless you for this!

  7. Colossians 3:18 "Wives, be subordinate to your husbands, as is proper in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and avoid any bitterness toward them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this is pleasing to the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your Children, so they may not become discouraged".

  8. Yeah, I got married at 27years old and never thought of asking those kinds of questions I was divorced two years later! I have never married since- (I haven’t dated since) and that was 19 years ago!…

  9. If you dated for a short while and released that you could never love that person or were really even attracted to them and told them that, yet they called and called and bugged you to get back with them and then to marry them, even though you wanted out, but finally gave in and decided to give it a few months to see how it goes as you were also feeling desperate, were you really ever married? You also were still in love with someone else that didn’t feel the same, but you thought of them everyday, not the unattractive one that would not leave you alone. Or ever really married in our Lord’s eyes, when you never really made a true heart felt vow? I’ve asked a few pastors that and they pretty all were taken aback and I never really got a straight answer as they didn’t know what to say. I guess because they had never heard this one before. I wonder how Jimmy Evens would answer it.

  10. 🙄 so you can’t discus first and agree to disagree or adapt to each other? I wonder how long those couples lasted that did survive that session…

  11. @ Ayele Ayih 

    MARRIAGE IS GOD’S CREATION
    Your argument is not valid, because you are basing on your own opinion, not the bible. Marriage is God’s business. God’s chosen father of the faithful, Abraham, diid not want Isaac to marry Canaanites due to their idolatry. He was honoring the will of God for believers.
    Abraham was now old and well advanced in years, and the LORD had blessed him in every way. He said to the chief servant in his household, the one in charge of all that he had, ‘Put your hand under my thigh. I want you to swear by the LORD, the God of heaven and the God of earth, that you will not get a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I am living, but will go to my country and my own relatives and get a wife for my son Isaac.’” –Genesis 24:1-4

    Neither did God want the kings of Israel marrying Babylonians because they would cause the kings to commit idolatry. Read the fate of Belshazzar in Daniel 5.

    Ephesians 5 clearly states the will of God for husbands and wives.

    Ephesians 5: 22-27
    22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

    25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might [a]sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 

    So how can you say God doesn’t tell you who to marry when He has instructions regarding marriage? Clearly, He forbids being unequally yoked or compromising His will! Do not make a mistake of marrying based on your fleshly desires. Marriage is a spiritual union too.

    Yes, God can guide you to the right marriage partner if you ask Him in prayer. That’s the reason He commands His people not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers.
    2 Corinthians 6:14-15 New King James Version (NKJV)

    14 Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what [a]fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what [b]communion has light with darkness? 15 And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever?

  12. Brothers and sisters, Men and Women the scriptures say

    1 Corinthians 7
    King James Version
    7 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.

    2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

    3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.

    4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.

    5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

    6 But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.

    7 For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.

    8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I.

    9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

    10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:

    11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.

    12 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.

    13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.

    14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.

    15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.

    16 For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?

    17 But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches.

    18 Is any man called being circumcised? let him not become uncircumcised. Is any called in uncircumcision? let him not be circumcised.

    19 Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but the keeping of the commandments of God.

    20 Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called.

    21 Art thou called being a servant? care not for it: but if thou mayest be made free, use it rather.

    22 For he that is called in the Lord, being a servant, is the Lord’s freeman: likewise also he that is called, being free, is Christ’s servant.

    23 Ye are bought with a price; be not ye the servants of men.

    24 Brethren, let every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with God.

    25 Now concerning virgins I have no commandment of the Lord: yet I give my judgment, as one that hath obtained mercy of the Lord to be faithful.

    26 I suppose therefore that this is good for the present distress, I say, that it is good for a man so to be.

    27 Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.

    28 But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.

    29 But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none;

    30 And they that weep, as though they wept not; and they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not; and they that buy, as though they possessed not;

    31 And they that use this world, as not abusing it: for the fashion of this world passeth away.

    32 But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:

    33 But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.

    34 There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.

    35 And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.

    36 But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry.

    37 Nevertheless he that standeth stedfast in his heart, having no necessity, but hath power over his own will, and hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin, doeth well.

    38 So then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better.

    39 The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.

    40 But she is happier if she so abide, after my judgment: and I think also that I have the Spirit of God.

    Matthew 5:32
    King James Version
    32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

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