Jordan Peterson on Marriage and Divorce

Jordan Peterson on Marriage and Divorce

In this video Jordan Peterson explains the real reasons for marriage and the consequences of divorce.

Jordan B. Peterson is a Canadian clinical psychologist, professor of psychology, public speaker and author of best-selling “12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos”. Check him out, he’s got some pretty insightful content.

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Check out some of the other videos on this channel like:
1. “Facing problems and challenges of life – Jordan Peterson (motivational video)” here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azugztirlbU

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50 Comments

  1. Ive been estranged from my amazing beautiful wife. I semt this to her. This is exactly how i feel. And will never give up on her. She is the hill i die on.

  2. The willing enslavement part about marriage is the reason why it would most definitely be abused by one spouse, and I have never seen someone who is consistently disrespected, loved or taken seriously.

  3. My daughter is grown up , can I divorce now?The reason is sexless marriage and kind of contempt from her side though she doesn’t show it straight in the face but she quite often rolls her eyes when we are talking…

  4. BECAREFUL MEN , THINK HARD IF YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED.
    It’s a bad bet , According to The National Center for Health Statistics , Women in all 50 sates, Women who file for divorce put the figure at 70%; This figure rises to a staggering 90% when women are college educated.

  5. I went through a lot of financial crisis after my divorce, I had to raise my two kids alone, Currently I’m living smart and frugal with my money. Bought my second house already. Saving and investing lifestyle made it possible for me; even till now I earn monthly through passive income. I’m planning on retiring when my kids finish college,just hope it encourages someone that it doesn’t matter if you don’t have any of them right now, you can start TODAY regardless your age INVEST and change your future! Investing is a grand choice I made. Great video! Thanks for sharing!

  6. .
    American men always rank in the top 3 nations as being the best husbands.
    Why?
    They Help with Household Chores and Raising Children
    They Are Less Likely to Cheat on Women Lower Domestic Violence Rates American Men Love to Cook American Men Are Not as Lazy They Party Less Once They Get Married American Men Love Their Moms Guys from the USA Are Very Attractive American Men Are Less Sexist American Men Are Ambitious

    and yet American women initiate divorce more often in the U.S. than any other nation.
    What is there to conclude from this? Yes. American women live in a bubble . They believe, via TV, Internet and other sources, that they have it bad. Furthermore, Almost half of American families experience poverty following a divorce, and 75 percent of all women who apply for welfare benefits do so because of a disrupted marriage or a disrupted relationship in which they live with a male outside of marriage.
    Sadly, the #1 cause of child poverty and women living in poverty is women themselves

  7. just separated. and im financially responsible for my kids. I wont fall into the notion that this will financially ruin me. I will do what ever it takes to make sure my kids are ok and that i can move on. you can count on that. thank hod I am financially stable and will be able to afford a good life for someone else in the future which will increase my market value. i should be ok or better I will be ok

  8. Statistically speaking women initiate about 2 out of 3 divorces in the west.
    Jordan Petersons audience is mainly young males.
    Wrong audience to be lecturing.

  9. There are always exceptions. If your spouse is abusing you or your children. It’s more than ok to divorce them. That being said, divorce should not be taken lightly.

  10. Marriage is, and has been for quite some time, being treated like "going steady" rather than a well thought out complete and total commitment. People tend to rush into it without a lengthy courtship where discussion of virtually/nearly all goals and the path to reach them are discussed in great depth and agreed upon. It should not be just a romantic partnership, but also similar to a business partnership with strategic planning by the couple. Regular "meetings" should occur with open and honest communication on multiple topics, expressing thoughts, feelings and the root causes for said feelings.

  11. Don’t marry a woman who has kids that aren’t yours.
    Very good point especially in today’s world the court doesn’t favour men

  12. People that have been married more than once or have mistresses as politicians of Tennessee and Alabama that have visited massage parlors are questioning my divorce when I was married between 2006-2019 abd I was never unfaithful. Like married people in Alabama now. I would not not move my children with my ex wife from Mississippi. People like rob cardwell have no say. With mistressed he has had when he is married.

  13. I completely disagree with most of not everything he said. I’m a child and victim of a bad marriage you do not stay together for the kids you do not pretend nothing is wrong and look the other way. The children can sense something is wrong even if kept quiet. It’s awful. I would’ve rather have my parents divorce and I have a comfortable relationship with both separately than have them be unhappy together or lose contact with one or the other. You people in the comments agreeing with Jordan are in the troubled marriage and want some hope you’re only thinking of yourself from your own point of view.

  14. The Bible says that those who marry will face tribulation. I wish I would’ve been in a better place prior to getting married because I would’ve never done it.

  15. Whenever i watched this i ‘m touched with the advice which is excellent line of a good man to save their vows to enlighten and awakened…But you know professor if ever i’m given a chance that God sent me someone with good heart but who needed my cares and comfort and love cause of me , nothing is so wonderful to live with that person with everlasting love till the rest of my life . Because our almighty given me a chance to meet such a wonderful man for another time and finally blessed 🙂 ……… God bless Professor Jordan Peterson and more power

  16. I learned to trust myself and my intentions. I tried so hard to make my relationship work. The only thing I didn’t do yet is counseling. I implement strategies to be happy in a marriage, day in and day out. He even tells me, “wow, no one knows me as well as you do” well, that’s the effort I put in for 8 years to get to know you. It says, “I am curious about you, I care for you, you are interesting to me always. I want to know even the little details of your day if they matter to you. I want to learn how to nurture you, but never at the expense of myself”

    My spouse does not do the same for me. His idea of marriage is “stay together no matter what” so no negotiation there. So, I said “I’m leaving – no matter what” Also no negotiation there. 😂 I tried too hard for too long and own my decision to leave someone who never reciprocated the effort. He did the BARE minimum, all the time. My bad for trying, right? Wrong. I’m so proud of myself. I’m a great partner bc I developed partnership skills.

    He tried to guilt trip me, stating I’m not a good partner for leaving. Hahaha

  17. Don’t do it. Find a way to make it. You can’t get all those memories and victories back once you leave and start over with someone new.

  18. But women have SO MANY OPTIONS with a computer phone and social media at the ready 24/7. There’s ALWAYS ‘a better option’ at their fingertips … LITERALLY. Even ‘sub par’ women have MANY MANY Men ‘available to date’ on a MOMENT’S NOTICE!!! And a SHITLOAD of MARRIED WOMEN are on Social Media today!!! Throw ‘Single Parents’ into THAT Mess of ‘Unlimited Options’ … Yeh Jordan … let me SIGN UP for ‘Marriage/Family’ in TODAY’S ‘New World SM Order’ … NO THANKS … I’LL STAY ‘Alone & Single’!!! This guy’s living in the pre 2000s when it comes to ‘Relationships’!!!

  19. All of these lonely men should simply marry & date down, amd like it.. If a woman is really not interested in a man, with or without money, money is only going to make her see him as a walking wallet. Dont cry or hate her when she leaves you for someone else she really likes, or constantly cheats on you. 🙄

  20. Yes that’s what it’s about but when only one of you is trying it’s time to say goodbye I’ll be finalizing my divorce soon now I have to look out for myself need to reconstruct a new me there is hope but thanks for your help.

  21. "I’m not leaving, ever. No matter what". Then, they will live for the rest of their lives frustrated, cheated on, abused, lied to just to keep up appearances. Since divorce is not an option. Really, though?

  22. What about infidelity? What is the person you are married to is a narcissist or could possibly be one ? But the relationship is tolerable should you stay?

  23. I agree with Peterson – but again, in 12 Rules, marriage isn’t the issue: a lack of accepting responsibility in the first 18 years of life often is. In my community, we marry early. 1 year of courtship max. An early lifetime void of video games, sex, drugs, or pornography sets us up for marriage pretty well as we try to regulate our dopamine carefully. Marriage is such a crazy rush in the absence of cheap dopamine sources

  24. Advice from a guy whose wife left:

    1. Listen to your spouse. Actually listen. Don’t dismiss their concerns.

    2. Don’t make jokes about or light of your spouse. Treat your spouse with reverence.

    3. Remember your wedding vows daily and look at your wedding and honeymoon photos weekly to remind you why you are married.

    4. Give thanks for your spouse. Imagine if they died and the void they would leave. That void is like separation or divorce.

    5. Don’t argue with your spouse in public or in front of the children. Don’t raise your voices. Talk as if you were in the office of a professional.

    6. Don’t bring your bad temper or negativity home, your family is not a punching bag.

    7. Don’t complain or criticise for no reason, negative words create negative emotions.

    8. Make time for each other and treat each day and interaction as the first date. You must constantly earn your spouse’s affection and time.

    9. Small gifts, remembered birthdays and anniversaries are always appreciated.

    10. Say sorry when you are wrong, accept apologies graciously and never go to bed with an argument still on foot.

    11. Kiss each other daily. Touch each other gently. Say “I love you”.

    12. Your spouse is your equal and partner.

  25. The divorce and remarriage for adultery doctrine is based solely on the supposed guilt of the wife in Matthew 5:32 and 19:9. However, the wife, in the above scriptures, is clearly not guilty of fornication because the Jews (that Jesus was speaking to) were still living under the law, and if fornication was discovered, there was a moral obligation to report the offender according to Deuteronomy 22:13-24. The wife, who would have been found guilty of fornication, was subsequently stoned to death, according to the law, which had still governed the Jews up until Christ’s death on the cross. The same for a woman caught in adultery, according to Leviticus 20:10. How could a wife, guilty of fornication, or adultery, under the law of Moses, be given a writing of divorcement and be caused to commit adultery with whosoever marries her, that is divorced? Jesus is clear, in these examples, that the wife is not guilty of fornication, but is still caused to commit adultery if she marries another man now that she is divorced. This is the only way that Matthew 5:31-32, and Matthew 19:9 keep harmony with Romans 7:2-3, and 1 Corinthians 7:39. 

    Unlike the synoptic gospels of Mark and Luke, which were written to evangelize the Gentiles, Matthew was written to the Jews, and has of 24 characteristics that identify it as intended for the house of Israel. 

    The ancient Jews called the betrothed (engaged) "husband" and "wife" according to Deuteronomy 22:23-24, Matthew 1:18-25, and Luke 2:5-7. 

    Deuteronomy 24:1-4 (Moses’s precept of divorce and remarriage) was never for fornication or adultery. Allowing those guilty of fornication and adultery to remain living and become a prospect for remarriage was against the law of Moses in Deuteronomy 22:13-24 and Leviticus 20:10, which commanded that those who were found guilty of fornication and adultery be put away from Israel, and stoned to death. 

    The law of Moses was not given to the world, only to the Jews. From the exodus, to Christ’s death on the cross, the law of Moses governed the Jewish people. Christ’s death on the cross caused the Jews to become dead to the law of Moses, so they could be joined to Christ under a New Covenant. This is what Jesus’s fulfillment of the law of Moses, including Deuteronomy 24:1-4 (Moses’s precept of divorce and remarriage), means. Paul gave several warnings to Christian believers against keeping the ordinances of law of Moses as justification, over following Christ and his commands under the New Covenant with Christ. Keeping the ordinances of the law is no longer possible, for Israel, and that is why Christ prophesied that the temple would be destroyed. These scriptures make it clear that if you choose the law over Christ, that you must keep the whole law: Romans 7:4, Galatians 3:1-9, Galatians 3:10-29, Galatians 4:1-7, Galatians 4:21-31, and Galatians 5:1-15. 

    Being unequally yoked to unbelievers is not a cause for divorce, once two become one-flesh in a covenant of marriage, according to 1 Corinthians 7:12-14. Many one-flesh covenant marriages between unbelievers are recognized by God in the scriptures, most notably the marriage covenants between Herodias and King Herod’s brother Philip, Potiphar and his wife, Ahab and Jezebel, and Ruth to her deceased husband Mahlon by Boaz when he took her to be his wife. 

    Some are teaching that 1 Corinthians 7:15 implies that those who are abandoned, by an unbelieving spouse, are "no longer bound" in a one-flesh covenant of marriage. The reason this is in conflict is due to the way some translations word it, which gives it an entirely different meaning, and context. 1 Corinthians 7:15, says, "But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace." As you can see, the actual scripture says "not enslaved" which means that the husband or wife is not enslaved to sin with the unbelieving spouse, and is free to worship Christ in peace. Subsequent translations have changed the words to imply that they nullify the marriage covenant, which is not at all the case. The issue that this creates is with 1 Corinthians 7:10-11, which says, "10To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife." As you can see, those who claim 1 Corinthians 7:15 shows the Apostle Paul giving those who are abandoned permission to remarry, do not understand the command that Christ gives is to an abandoned husband, in 1 Corinthians 7:11, and that he "must not divorce" his wife, and his wife is commanded to "remain unmarried or else be reconciled" to her husband. The theory that 1 Corinthians 7:15 nullifies two as being one-flesh, due to one’s unbelief, puts the Apostle Paul directly at odds with Christ, and himself, by implying that Paul has issued an opposing command to verses 10-14 in verse 15.   

    Some also teach that 1 Corinthians 7:27-28 is referring to both divorced men and virgin women, and not exclusively to men and women (virgins) who have never been married. This has been falsely taught for some time in churches as referring to anyone who is not currently in a marriage, which, for them, also includes those who are divorced. This is a very false assumption, and puts these verses in a different context, that is at odds with both the teachings of Christ and the apostle Paul. We see Paul refer to virgins, which signifies the unmarried who have never before been wed, which is the proper context here. We see Paul saying clearly that it is good for virgins, which is also speaking to never before wed men here, "that it is good for a man so to be." He goes on to say, "Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife." Who is he referring to here? Men who, like himself, have never married. The word "bound", in these verses, is a clear reference to betrothal (engagement) and not to a one-flesh covenant of marriage. The ancient Jews were considered bound as husband and wife during the betrothal (espousal/engagement) before becoming one-flesh in a covenant of marriage, through consummation. This is affirmed by the context of the term "bound" seen in Numbers 30:14-16.

    The Jewish couples in ancient Israel, who were betrothed (engaged) were also bound together until death, either by execution for fornication, or by other causes. Then Paul says, "But and if thou marry, thou has not sinned", which is who? The men who had never married in the congregation at Corinth. So he begins with verses 25-26 speaking exclusively to men that have never married. Paul then says, "and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned", which is speaking directly in regard to virgin women who have never been married, within the congregation, not divorced women. Notice that verse 34 says, "There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband." Paul speaks plainly when he says "there is a difference between a wife and a virgin." Paul goes on to say, "But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry." This is speaking of a virgin who has become of age to bear children when it says, "let them marry." This is a clear command, to a single man, who has taken a virgin to be his wife. Paul then says, "Nevertheless he that standeth stedfast in his heart, having no necessity, but hath power over his own will, and hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin, doeth well." This is referring again to the single man who decides it is better not to marry, but to stay betrothed (engaged), under the present distress, by saying that he "hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin." Paul then says, "So then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better", which again means single men, in the congregation, who have betrothed a wife, do well if they marry, and those who choose not to marry their virgin brides do better, under the current climate. For more proper context of the word "bound", let’s look further down in this chapter to verse 39, which says, "39The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord" (1 Corinthians 7:39). For so long, these scriptures, between verses 25-38, have been twisted and used to enable divorce and remarriage, by wayward churches and teachers, and have caused many to stumble and to be trapped in unscriptural unions.

    The use of the woman at the well, in regard to marriage, falsely implies that Christ was endorsing remarriage after a divorce. This teaching is in defiance of Matthew 22:23-28, which shows a woman who had been widowed seven times, and entered into each subsequent marriage without any scriptural conflicts with God’s law of marriage (one-flesh covenant) seen in Genesis 2:23-24.

    Mark 10:1-12 and Matthew 19:1-12 both record Christ’s teaching that day beyond the Jordan. There is no mention of the words "fornication", "writing of divorcement", or "divorced" in Mark’s Gospel because Mark was not written to the Jews (as Matthew’s Gospel was), but to evangelize the Romans, and likewise Luke to evangelize the Greeks, who had no knowledge of the law of Moses in Deuteronomy 22 or Deuteronomy 24. All of these facts draw a clear understanding that remarriage after a divorce, under the New Covenant with Christ, is a scripturally false and baseless teaching. Please use wisdom when living in any situation against what the scriptures command.

  26. Totally agree. That is why God stated that revenge is His. I have always encouraged women to stay in their marriages despite the pain their husbands have done to them. And this is the basis " what God has yoked together let no man/woman put apart" meaning ONLY God holds the right to end a marriage In Malachi 2vs 16 Jehovah God has stated " For I hate divorce." This all means no matter what happens in your marriage not even the innocent party has the right to put apart what God has yoked together even though the man has done such evil against her. Women initiate divorces most times and they end up being alone for the rest of their lives because they have done what God hates and they end up being the ones punished the most when they take into their hands what they have no right to do. Then because the man has not divorced his wife even though he is the cause of the problems that led to his wife ending the marriage, he gets away with it by being blessed with another woman whilst the woman lives alone to death. I always advise women do not return evil for evil because you never know that the evil you return , you could pay severely for it. Divorce is the worst evil than adultery because it destroys generations as well. Hence, these women suffer the most. Our grandparents stayed in their marriages even though they faced what we face today. Pray for your husband before you pray for yourself so God can help him with wisdom. Maintain your integrity no matter what, it will get better in time. I know it. Allow for forgiveness at slme point. Nothing is unforgivable. Even murderers get pardoned

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