Mom Asks: How To Get Divorced Fairly?

Mom Asks: How To Get Divorced Fairly?

Mom thinks Dad is being unreasonable in the divorce, and can’t see a good divorce deal staring him in the face. What do you think?

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  1. As a woman I just want to say THANKYOU for talking about the negative effects of fatherlessness, too often adults just say they’ll be right so they can focus on their own desires. it is a lie and just so horrendous

  2. It’s simple, she’s not prepared to downgrade to a lesser house, so she stays in her current home to kick start her career and start earning money all the while the husband pays the mortgage and the bills.
    Then in the future when she’s earning money, the house is worth more and the husband has reduced the mortgage she gets considerably more from the payout.
    Don’t think for one second that she’s not carefully planning her escape route.

  3. I hope that the victim (ahem, defendant) see’s this and screen shots all of the plaintiffs comments here for court later. That said, it always starts the same "I just want my things, and to be done". That quickly changes to "I want everything the state will give me and then some".

  4. I don’t get it. I was divorced in California. All i did was sign a paper. I kept condo, owed her nothing. Never paid a lawyer, she did all. So, whats the big deal?

  5. You can’t negotiate! I did it gave her everything she wanted to leave me alone. One hot girlfriend later I’m in court getting screwed. I negotiated everything! One hot blonde welcome to court hell.

  6. Being a stay at home mom isn’t a "job." They need to get that out of their heads. She should never be entitled to half of what the dude has provided. Changing Sponge Bob dvd’s isn’t work.

  7. God forbid if I ever get divorced which will never happen no matter what. I will let the dad have the primary custody. I feel like kids need their dads more when they are past the age of 10. Also I have too much pride to ever ask for money from the guy who doesn’t care about me. Girls save money always.

  8. How about just like a regular relationship, when it ends you leave with what’s yours you don’t take anything from the other person

  9. I don’t see any reason for a man to get married in the west in this era. This poor man did everything right. He got an education, got a well paying job, paid off his student loans. Got married to the wrong woman and will now lose his house, kids, retirement savings, AND the extra kick in the left nut he will be paying HER student loans after the divorce. There is absolutely NO REASON for a man to be married in this day and age. ABSOLUTELY NONE. You can be happily married for 7, 12, 16, 20 years but even if there’s a slight chance of divorce, you could end up being a 70 year old man working as a Walmart greeter for $5.25 after taxes. And 70% of that will go to your ex wife. Don’t do it, just don’t.

  10. It’s quite remarkable really and I’m glad there is a female voice. I think a problem both sexes have when speaking to the other is seeking things from their perspective which can often lead to people talking past each other. Biologically speaking, with women having passed on their genes more frequently, they didn’t have to take as many risks to pass along their genes and since anyone who didn’t care about this wouldn’t have propagate this is literally the difference between life and death. Therefore, men who were interested had to take more risks. A primary drive of equality these days is to get women into powerful and influential positions, with little mind paid to what happens to the men that didn’t make it big. For every rock star there are hundreds if not thousands that didn’t make it. These men are invisible. No one is aspiring to be a garbage man or a janitor.

    This example demonstrates that a woman’s floor is much different than a man’s floor. Due to hypergamy most women wouldn’t waste their time on a man without resources. Perhaps being bouyed by the current state of divorce settlements women expect to always get something for their time. The opposite doesn’t hold true. Men don’t get half of their wife’s attractiveness (which I don’t mean to be facetious, this is, after all critical to attracting the next mate). Meanwhile a man is expected to pay whether he can afford it or not, which could lead to unfavorable psychological and economic outcomes for him. Now I’ll grant that it should be less of an issue for married men because they tend to have more assets. The issue is that as women close the gap men are less capable of paying these bounties. Something will have to change. Though I doubt anything will. It’ll have to get so bad that men find the terms unacceptable. Of course that’ll also mean that men, on the whole, will be less receptive to a woman’s "needs". Men, thus far, are told to "man up" so that marriage is still a viable option but when they stop paying attention it won’t just be on this issue, and it’s already started happening. Not sure this is the hill to die on. (If you debate this point starting keeping a running tally of efforts men make toward woman that they wouldn’t make toward men. I would say counter that to a similar list of actions women take solely to benefit men, but I fear you’ll find that column lacking.)

    Also this is in relation. We’ve all already accepted that the courts would not be in his favor so anything he gets will be a victory. I simply don’t understand how the more resolute sex is the one that has the most to lose and yet banks on the more capricious sex not changing. I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that if divorces primarily did not benefit women then women would initiate less of them. It’s a case of wishing what you want to be true to be true regardless of the reality. Men can’t afford such delusions. Until there’s nothing to gain from divorce men should stop lining up for the slaughter.

  11. It’s funny how feminism is all about ‘believe women first’ and red pill all about ‘believe men first’. Good that there is a legal system that tries to balance those.

  12. Rising children is a two or more people job. None can do it alone and not have problems. I know a lot of couple that a rising children and although there are two people on the task the grandparents lend a hand every now and again. You can’t do it alone, you will mess it up.

  13. I am a man who went through a divorce in California with kids and was treated VERY fairly. BY A FEMALE JUDGE lol. 50/50 is the default custody arrangement that courts use. ALSO assets accumulated DURING THE MARRIAGE are split 50/50. If you are in a short term marriage (like less than 10 years) your spouse does not get half of everything you accumulated YOUR WHOLE LIFE.

  14. That deal she is offering is a facade. Men don’t beleave this crap when it’s fed to ya. Just setting you up for the kill. Women 9 times out of 10 are 6months to a year ahead of the man. Plus she already consulted a lawyer and knows exactly what way she can go. Main thing is be mature about the kids. Unfortunately when you are a good father and your wife knows it. They will use that against you.

  15. She’s trying to milk a divorce and use kids as leverage to get more money so she can keep the lifestyle her husband affords without having to earn it in any way.

    She’s pretending it’s about the kids. If it were she’d stay married. She’s a liar and a gold digger.

  16. I guarantee she’s already been to see a lawyer for advice and is now repeating to him what that lawyer recommended to her. In other words, he gave her a script and she’s just reading it to him (the husband) trying to pass it off as her own words and make it seem like she’s willing to be fair and amicable in the divorce procedure. Meanwhile, the husband is being conned out of the one valuable asset they BOTH have rights to – the house.

  17. sadly,need a clean break 50/50 down the line including’s very painful now, but better later for all.that shared house stuff is how some awful situations can come about,anger and even violence. plus i also suspect she could swipe the house.

  18. Hey Rich I don’t know if you read the comments but I watched the show recently it’s on Netflix it’s called after death I couldn’t watch it with a red pill lens all the men want to kill themselves because they’re depressed about losing their women thought this would make an interesting video for you to underlays

  19. Ideally : in a divorce , especially with kids , exhaust all possibilities first . Best if the couple can create a “ win – win “ scenario eg be amicable and fair financially . Because it benefits the kids. ( if it’s a situation of abuse, that’s different ) Take responsibility for who we draw into our lives and the lives we create . As painful and annoying as it is , our partners can be our biggest messengers . What we need to work on, our strengths and weaknesses as humans . If we have a breath & a pulse , then We have work to do in our lives.

  20. Hi Richard. Some states down here will let you for go alimony and some assets but not child support. Your right about California.

  21. When you have a severe bias, you read everything through that lens and you see things that aren’t there. Go back and read the letter slooooowly. I did. And yes, it IS as pretty as it looks.
    The house is obviously in both of their names. That’s clear because HE demanded that she transfer her 1/2 of the house to him. She was suggesting that she and the kids KEEP (meaning STAY IN) the house for several years (exactly how many can be negotiated) until the children were older and she had a chance to get her own career going.

    She said NOTHING about him transferring his 1/2 of the house to HER so that she owns it wholly when she had the perfect chance to do so right after mentioning he demanded that of her.

    So no, Frank, she was not trying to "take the house" and leave him with what you believe are crumbs. She did not say, "Just give me the house", Rich.

    In fact, she was really saying that the house stays in both of their names for several years.
    We don’t know what he makes. But alimony and the 401K could be substantial amounts and alimony, as you know, goes on for a very long time.

    So here’s what she’s clearly recommending (which you have misunderstood well, because you want to):
    She gives up alimony, the 401K and the band equipment.
    She and the kids remain in the house for several years keeping the house in both their names.

    The house can be sold after the agreed-upon amount of time expires and the proceeds split. In several years, the house could be worth substantially more.

    I’m assuming he pays some child support.

    You twisted the whole thing. There is no pig with lipstick here. In fact, there’s no pig at all. Most of the time I side with the guys when it comes to modern day women, but this time I’m calling B.S.

  22. Keep it brutal keep it honest. I was married for 1.5yrs in Ohio, she entered the marriage with a leased vehicle (over double on mileage) without proof of naturalized citizenship (which thankfully was only $3k to figure out). During the dissolution she had the gall to tell me, “don’t leave me worse than when I entered the marriage”. Fellas it’s real, I got out for $15k for 1.5yrs, my entire family sided with her and demonized me. The nether apes don’t care about you. ✌️

  23. In Australia the assets if not agreed upon, are assigned with a heavy emphasis on level of child contact. So as judges like 70/30 split of contact, the assets then go 70/30. Now here is the clever bit. If the less important non primary parent says then they will seek 50/50 contact, judges say the non essential parent is putting their own interest in money over the child’s best interest.

  24. “Toxic environment” is where I stopped listening to anything she had to say. Already trying to make herself into the victim. Every single woman these days has some victim just got out of a toxic/abusive/relationship story.

  25. The children are forced to go through the entire process too. That is the devastating part. It reminds me of my childhood.


    I am clarifying here that my husband makes well over 100k base salary and has unlimited potential for bonuses. I’d be getting about $4k per month in child support and alimony and I’d also get a large chunk of his bonus until the kids are grown. So giving up alimony is actually a thing here.

    I’d give that up if we can keep the house and I can get a job and save my own money for a few years. Then we can sell the house and move on because at that point I’d have a nest egg and a job and we wouldn’t have to fight.

    I’m concerned about going to court and him having to pay my legal fees because I don’t work, having to pay me 401k, alimony, child support and having to take responsibility for half my student loan — the anger and resentment that will be built on top of the anger and resentment that is already there is just not worth the money. I don’t understand how nobody can see that a woman can just want peace. I truly do.

    I just find it interesting that apparently a traditional divorce is ‘divorce rape’ but yet, Rich is suggesting we get a traditional divorce.

  27. I went through the split, what I noticed in her story was her narrative of "make it easy on the kids". Or "for the kids".

    I heard the same narrative also, any time the ex tried to float me an idea. She used that same story to attempt to get me to agree with whatever she was trying to get.

    I also heard the "move out, but you can come by any time see the kid" or even "we can live together, but be apart. For the kid" claimed she would play nice. I didn’t buy it, maybe the first couple weeks she was nice. But her playing nice quickly went away, she then tried different tactics of making it extremely uncomfortable living there. Hoping I would move out

  28. A fair divorce in this case would be to share the kids 50/50 and take what is yours (cash, vehicles, furniture, etc) and split what you’ve both paid for. If you never earned money bc you wanted to be a stay at home mom you must start from 0 like the rest of us. You don’t take from him bc you didn’t create value. It sucks but this is fair. As a man I would never take something that wasn’t mine bc of divorce or attempt to seek majority custody from a good mom. I would even at 40 or 50yrs old start as an intern and work my way up to a manager, exec, etc. and start a side hustle. It sucks but if you haven’t learned life isn’t fair you are very very naive.

  29. Veronica West
    I am a divorced dad that also wanted nothing but peace. My ex took full advantage of it years later (sued me back for retroactive child support). I think a lot of feedback I am hearing in the comments is unfair. But in the video Rich didn’t have a lot of information that you provided in the comments after.
    I believe you that you are coming from a very good place. But believe me that opinions and minds change over the years. What you think is best for the kids and for you and for this situation right now will not be what you will believe 1 year from now let alone 6 years from. AND the same goes for your ex. In my opinion you should physically and financially and legally separate everything now while doing everything with best interest of children in mind. Leaving an open situation like that for 6 years is just inviting so much stress into your lives later on. It’s not worth it.

  30. Here’s the deal, if they can go for it they will. They will gas light and justify it any way they can, but they will go for it. Don’t lie to yourself, they will not just let anything go, the lawyer, sister, friends, whatever will get in their ear and they will go for everything they can.

  31. Wow, am I glad I chose a career over giving birth! When my ex and I divorced, we sold the house and split everything down the middle. Easy peazy. We are still friends 25 years later. And I have to say, I am fascinated by the misogyny here. You must pick real douchbags as partners to have that attitude.

  32. After children are 4 parenting is not a full time job. Wonder what she was soo busy doing for 5 years while the kids were in daycare and school for 8 hours a day…

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