Surviving A Messy Divorce | Getting Your Ex Back After A Messy Divorce

Surviving A Messy Divorce | Getting Your Ex Back After A Messy Divorce

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Surviving A Messy Divorce | Getting Your Ex Back After A Messy Divorce

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Coach Adrian has helped quite a few clients stabilize a relationship or marriage after a messy divorce. A messy divorce has a lot at stake – kids, family, pets, a life built together, and the process of a divorce – especially a messy divorce – can freak people out.

What do you do when you’re in the middle of a messy divorce and you want to win back your husband or your wife? How do you approach it? Do you have to be extra nice? Do you have to fight and set healthy boundaries? It depends.

Most people who are going through a messy divorce act in a very, very desperate way because they are very, very vulnerable. You’re so afraid of a divorce that you put your partner on a pedestal, and in turn, you become an insecure mess. You’re willing to do or say whatever they want to hear in order to not lose them.

The problem with this is that, one, it’s too late. The divorce has already started. And two, you’re not being attractive. That insecure version of you is not a version of you that is going to inspire your significant other to stop a divorce.

If you’re going through a messy divorce or want to get your ex back after a messy divorce, it’s important that you try to live a normal life. Don’t live under constant guilt and fear of the divorce. Otherwise, everything that you say and do will come from this insecure and vulnerable place, and you’ll never appear attractive.

You must detach yourself from the separation and from the divorce itself as much as possible. It doesn’t mean sweeping everything under the rug or not being accountable to your responsibilities. It means finding balance and happiness as quickly as you can.

We’ve helped couples and clients get ex back AFTER messy divorces have been finalized because a lot of times there is too much pressure, ego, resentment throughout the divorce process. Both parties need breathing room and time to understand that the divorce was a mistake. Most people after a messy divorce, and after the initial surge of freedom and independence wears off, realize they have lost a lot.

Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to salvage your relationship while you’re going through a messy divorce. The goal is not for you to stop a messy divorce, the goal is for you to be happy in love. There’s no point in trying to talk your partner out of a messy divorce if they are dead-set on it. Instead, show them through actions that you can be happy together. Leave conflict and drama to the attorneys. Focus on positive, drama-free, interactions while also setting boundaries for yourself.


Our Mission is to help people find happiness in love, and to provide individuals and couples with the communication tools and relevant techniques to be together in healthy sustainable relationships.

Over the years we have helped people in all types of breakups, separation and divorces successfully get back together, and I highly encourage you to look into out how we’ve been so successful.

We offer one on one Private Coaching Sessions for individuals who are interested in speeding up the process of breakup recovery and get back together with the person they love quickly by letting our experts guide you personally:

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It would truly be our pleasure to help you be and with the one you love, as always keep fighting the good fight and I wish you all the very best.

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  1. My husband off 4 years one day told me he was in love of someone else and that he wanted the divorce. That was 6 months ago, I left the house and a week after his lover moved in, he filled for the divorce 4 days after he told me about the other woman. I moved to another state, devastated because I thought we were happy. A month after everything happened, he started contacting me saying how bad he felt and that he missed me and loved me, but that woman was still living in that house, the one we used to share. He texted me or called me often, saying that he was not happy and that he was with her just because she didn’t have a place to live. Two months ago, they split, and he is contacting me every day, the divorce is still pending but he tells me he wants to cancel the process because he wants to get me back. He has said more than once to me crying, yelling, that he made the worst mistake of his life, that he had everything with me but that at that time he was not happy with himself. He will move to the state where I live now, but I don’t know what to do about us. I love him with all my heart but he really hurt me and I don’t trust on him anymore

  2. If I want a one on one private but my circumstances aren’t even worth fighting for my spouse to come back. How can I determine if you can help me

  3. So it has been 2,5 months since she broke up with me after a 6 year relationship. There weren´t any bad words or arguments after the breakup. I did some begging however, then did the NC, during which I picked loads of new interests, lost weight, started exercising and looking after myself. I also started posting on Insta and FB. I tried reaching out and I tried the "sorry" message, however I was met with a negative outcome either way. Through a mutual friend I learned she is on a hate spree supported by her friends because of the interesting things I do and post (I posted a lot before but last month I am posting like 2 posts a week max).

    I mean "Sorry I am breathing babe". Look I do still care about her, but this behavior is seriously hurting me, considering I have never spoken ill of her. Do you think it is a good thing,? Because she didn´t block me anywhere and she does watch all of my posts. There is also a concert we bought tickets to coming up in three weeks (tickets are in my name), so I am expecting her to contact me because of it. Do you think I should tell her "Sorry, but I dont want to go with her" ?

  4. Hey coach I got to sign. The papers and the process has started but I got an email from some guy the my ex says is a friend but he had the nerve to say I can’t sleep with her anymore.

  5. I was married in a foreign country. When we were at the divorce office the official asked me if I indeed wanted this divorce. It had to be mutual. I did of course at this point AND I didn’t. My wife at the time looked at me when asked this question and in that moment I could see how much this process was affecting her also. Until that point she was very convincingly detached and I was acting like the one freaked out but trying to stay resolute. In that moment where the realisation became finite point in time I remembered a recent comment she made that she would find a way even if I didn’t turn up to the divorce office. So I said "I agree 100%"…
    Ego definitely plays a major part in these interactions and I wish it wasnt so.
    After months of only contacting regarding our child, interactions have become much more amicable. There was a time there when after ego the ex wife showed anger and resentment.
    I’m not sure how else I would have played it, but feels good to be free of that surreal feeling.
    LATV is pretty spot on…

  6. Here’s my situation. 3 years ago my ex divorced me coz she thought I didn’t spend enough time with her and the kids. I tried to save the marriage and she already got her mind made up. In the past 2 years I went through lots of pain coz she didn’t let my children much and she lied and exaggerated things in the court. She got half of the assets, and I need to pay child support monthly which I am willing to. Luckily I met a nice lady 2 years ago that helped me go through all the depression and anxiety. Now my ex and kids (9 and 11) have moved back to Canada, I am also visiting Canada to find a place to stay in the future, I want to stay close to my children and bring my future wife to Canada. I am planning to get married with my girlfriend and bring her to Canada soon, she knows abut this plan. But during this second visit in Canada, my ex started talking to me again, she actually offered me to see kids more. She also started telling me that she has changed a lot since she moved back to Canada, she has done some soul searching , she has forgiven me and hope I can forgive her.too. She inited me to her house for dinner, and I hanged out with her and kids a few times, she has not said to me that she wants me back, but I have a strong feeling that she wants it. Because she has been super nice to me, telling me how lonely she is, and wondering if I have a girlfriend or planning find a spouse. She is lonely and whatsapp me a lot, I feel bad for her. 2 years ago, I literally dreamed about getting back together with her and have my family back, now this is happening, but I already have a girlfriend who is close to a marriage stage with me. I don’t know what to do next. I don’t have a strong feeling toward my ex, but I really want to live with my children. But I don’t want to ditch my girlfriend. Now I am not young, it’s not easy for me to start a new family with a kid again due to physical and financial requirements. Can someone give me some advices please?

  7. My wife cheated on me and got pregnant and is wanting a divorce but she hasn’t send me the divorce papers and hasn’t talk to me at all since she told me she wants a divorce. Is she putting me on a shelf to not be bother till she is ready or is she thinking about our marriage and maybe wants to fix our marriage?

  8. What is when they are back with their rebound after they were apart for a year.. he’s been fighting to get HER back all the time and now he did… And I’m here fighting for two long years and he’s still gone, please please help 💔

  9. Would posting a pic of me and the guy I’m seeing be a good idea? It’s been a year of no contact and I had planned on reaching out eventually to apologize (before even meeting the new guy). He doesn’t follow me but we have a lot of mutual friends and I feel like he’d hear about it. I’m thinking maybe it would get him thinking about me again, but I’m also afraid it will give him more of a reason to never reach out

  10. Appreciate Video! Sorry for butting in, I would appreciate your initial thoughts. Have you considered – Mahorrla Girls Affairs Method (should be on google have a look)? It is a smashing one off product for getting your wife Back without the hard work. Ive heard some amazing things about it and my close friend Aubrey after a lifetime of fighting got amazing success with it.

  11. This shit is extremely difficult, my wife of 20+ years has left because I was emotionally abusive to her and I didn’t realize it. This separation has really forced me to take a look at myself and my actions. Never really realized that my past what affect my future on how I treated women. The sad part is that I would have never treated my wife the way I did if I knew what I was doing, I thought we were doing great and then Bam! She tells me she’s bought a house and is moving out. I’ve done a lot of soul-searching and a lot of homework on my own and I know what I’ve done and where it stems from. She was my best friend and I miss her so much I miss my kids so much, living in our old house by myself without her to wake up to or my kids to kiss good night is one of the hardest things that I’ve ever had to do. No contact and all that other shit is easy when you are boyfriend girlfriend and young kids but when you’re in your 40s and have been together since you were 17 with young children involved this shit isn’t that easy. I do anything to get my family back, I know that I am a changed man now many people have said so and I notice it also. That woman means the world to me, I don’t want to start over again this is bullshit!

  12. If an ex takes legal action against you, the relationship is over. Never take a woman back if she takes legal action against you. Go gray rock and enjoy hotter, younger women with empathy.

  13. My husband told me out of the blue he wasn’t happy and didn’t love me anymore. I knew he had to have someone else but when I asked, he told me he didn’t have anyone. He packed and left on May 8th. Shortly after, I found out he did have someone else in another state. They were telling each other I love you already and had already slept together. I was heartbroken and tried to get him to try marriage counseling but he wouldn’t. Shortly after that, I found out he slept with my first cousin, the one I confided in with all my problems because she too, had went through a divorce. I am so numb by all this pain. I haven’t spoken to my husband for over a month. I am awaiting the divorce papers.

  14. my wife and i got divorced last year after 23 years. She filed and executed it. Cheating at various times during our marriage from the both of us. 2 grown kids. 2 grandkids. we are both seeing other people. i still love her though, even though i have moved on with the help of your channel and others. i am becoming a better man, don’t know much about what she is doing. Just pushing along, have no idea what the future will bring, but i am staying on my purpose and living for me for a change!

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