The full story of my divorce

The full story of my divorce

26:09 – the summary
Hey, thank you for allowing me this safe space to feel comfortable sharing the details of my divorce. As mentioned, this is my side of the story – so please take it with a grain of salt. And, though this is the “just” of it, there are so many details I couldn’t include in this video. I hope you know that my heart isn’t to harp on it, but rather to use my story to help other girls in similar situations make wiser decisions than I did. I love you a whole bunch. NOW let’s move on, shall we?!

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—–FAQ:—–
~How tall am I? 5’7
~Where am I from? Boerne, TX
~Where do I live? I spent 2016-2021 in Pasadena CA but have now moved to Austin, TX
~What did I study? Nutrition and Dietetics from ASU!
~How old am I? 24 (born in ’97)
~Are you Christian? YES!
~What’s your full name? Christiane Michel Janse
~How do you pronounce that? Like… Christy-Anne Mick-Elle Jan-See
~Do you have pets? YES! A rescue pupper named Max 🙂
~Favorite Store? Everlane + Madewell
~Favorite Drink? Oat Milk Matcha or Lemonade Kombucha
~Favorite Friends? YOU

FTC: This video is NOT Sponsored. Some links may be affiliate links meaning I make commissions on sales with no extra expense to you. (thanks for supporting me by using my links!) All opinions are my own.

50 Comments

  1. Oh wow. Great story. I’m so proud of you. I’m in similar situation. My wife left because I took her for granted but I really want to be back with her. I know is all my fault. It’s been 2 months since the break up and I can’t let go. I’ve had begged her so much and she doesn’t want me back. In this case I’m the men who is trying to fix the marriage but it’s too late now 😟

  2. This is one side of the story folks. Keep that in mind. All things have causation. You caused this to some degree. By ignoring the needs of men. By ignoring the nature of men. He caused this by not communicating things well. All marriages REQUIRE arguments, disagreements, and overcoming those things. Him failing to submit to GOD first is the turning point. Those without a strong worldview will be a unstable worldview. You cannot marry someone that doesn’t have the same religion as you. You have to be on the same page on the deepest philosophical conclusions. You leaving him was justified.

  3. I, m a student at collage medicine. I will complete my studying and come to you… Can you give me your Number

  4. Being the one to speak the truth out loud is simply stating the facts. You were still willing to try and he wasn’t and you said that out loud. You don’t have to take the guilt for "calling it". I think calling him out for what you knew he was doing would ruin everything you had worked so hard for and you are a planner so you were waiting until you had a plan. That’s why you sought out the quiet solitude to talk to God and to call your mom. You were still planning for forever which is what you were supposed to do. I think it’s good to take responsibility for things you could have done better, but at the same time, I think you were an amazing wife and it’s sad that he used that and threw that away. I know you feel you should have stood up and said something, but maybe it wasn’t so much that you were ______ (weak or underconfident or some negative term here), but that in your gut you knew it wasn’t safe. Also, if you had said it, I can’t see that he would have been like "Oh, yeah, I see how I shouldn’t do that. Let’s save our marriage." He made all of those choices and just kept waiting for you to have enough. He definitely didn’t want to be the one to call it and I see that as definite manipulation into making you feel like the relationship ending was your fault when it was his actions. I appreciate that you’re still you and you haven’t become bitter, but I totally like and respect the Michel that can call it all out for what it is and say "This was not my fault". I firmly believe that you would have spent the rest of your life with him if he hadn’t kept pushing you to end it. I see so much of the things my mom went through in your story and I hate it, but I love that you’re sharing this and giving other women the understanding of how to keep trusting God and how to live life in an honorable way. Praying for you and happy to watch all of your videos.

  5. Great video! Thank you! Marriage is hard even in the best of circumstances. Working opposite hours is hard on a relationship as well. My ex wife worked the night shift as a nurse SICU cardiac care nurse in a hospital. I think she cheated on me with someone at the hospital while I was home taking care of our daughter. I think she manipulated and lied to me about many things. I will admit I dealt with issues as well and I bear and accept responsibility for my actions. I think a big part of the problems in our marriage were due to my debilitating chronic health problems that caused many hardships. Thank you for sharing your story! As a man, a Christian, I would have many things to say in love in admonishing your ex husband. I hope and pray you heal. I hope and pray you draw closer to God and the church and the same for your ex husband. I pray that for my ex wife and her new 2nd husband for their salvation and believing in Christ as Savior and Lord! Your video is very well presented and well articulated. Very brave, honest, true, helpful video young lady! God bless you! May the Holy Spirit and the body of Christ, the church, comfort you and strengthen you now more than ever!

  6. You were too young to be married men that marry young get trapped you are to to young 19 is too too young if he had friends he didn’t love you! If your husband is texting a girl he doesn’t love you go to school do something occupy yourself after he threw a hammer your way you are still hoping that your marriage would work I know it’s hard because you are young

  7. I never knew I was going to get my ex 💔 husband back and restore my relationship, until a friend of mine introduced me to 📩 Dr omobhude
    ..

  8. I am so thankful that I heard this sorry. I just had a breakup and my ex is almost like your ex. I would have suffered at least great mental health if I continued, and like you, I put more effort than he did.

  9. I’m shocked that he didn’t care for you when you had covid. That must have been really hard to care for yourself, being so sick.

    I’m sorry that this happened to you and I’m thankful that you shared your story ❤️

  10. I can relate to this story but Back then I felt humiliated and embarrassed to even express how I felt. I’m glad you are sharing your story to help others

  11. What a bag of d**ks this guy is. You deserve so much better- i was in a similar situation once (not a marriage) it was so hard to leave and express my difficult feelings-it took me actually catching him cheating to have courage and finally get an ending but things worked out amazing. I’m so happy and glad all these things happened in the long run. That was 5 years ago! ❤

  12. Ive watched this over and over. I’m leaving an abusive marriage right in the middle of ivf 🙁 life is hard. And bless you fir sharing.

  13. I was deeply moved by your story. I hope that, going forward, you will come to realize that you are NOT guilty of anything, not blameworthy in any way. You certainly ARE enough to be loved, but your EX, for whatever reason, just couldn’t see it. That’s on him, not you.. OF COURSE his cheating on you wounded you deeply. How could it not?

    Your ex’s betrayal was HUGE — but even the fact of THAT might have been overcome, had there been, on both sides, a . commitment to the marriage. I’ve heard of such things happening. But in this case, that wasn’t possible.

    I’m sure you’ve been reviewing, over and over, the circumstances of your beginnings as a couple. Doubtless you’ve asked yourself, repeatedly, "what did I see in him? What attracted me to him?"" Those questions may prove way more useful to you than asking, "what faults in me must I correct?" Your fault, if it is one, is that you are a human being. Cut yourself some slack, Michel. you deserve it!

  14. There is literally 0. Zero shame on you. Every strong woman would have done exactly what you did. Thank you for all your content. I just shared you with my mamma!

  15. Moving into hotels while you had the flu crossed the line. He may not have wanted to get sick, but abandoning his wife is’t acceptable.

  16. I’m so so sorry. I am so sorry that you had to endure this. but you did- you made it through it because you are so strong. you deserved better than this man. looking back at old videos, if he ever treated you poor its because he saw how amazing you were. how incredible and pure your heart is, and it would eat him up and just could not bring himself to treating you properly.
    not sure if that made sense but you are beautiful and strong and amazing. keep going girl- you got this thing called life!! I hope this encouraged you!!!!

  17. I’m separated now due to infidelity. My husband used to be a deacon in our church but not anymore. So much hurt and pain.

  18. What an articulate video. No matter what the age of the viewer, you are sending a compelling message of courage. Tucking you in God’s Pocket for safekeeping and comfort.

  19. It was never up to you to voice your fears of him being unfaithful. I hope that you can heal the shame that you felt as you recorded this.

  20. I’m so glad you left. I know you’re probably not even thinking about this right now but I can’t wait for your future husband to find you! 💕 You’re a truly great person and there is a man out there that God will bring that will care for you they way you deserve. You have nothing to be ashamed of. I’m so proud of you for working on your mental health and growing stronger. I’m excited for your future. 💕

  21. Thank you for sharing your story. I’m going through a divorce with my wife and your video has helped me reconcile some of the mistakes I made on the communication front. You are beautiful, brave, and cogent, even when you are feeling hurt. If you were in London, I’d ask for a chance to buy you a coffee. Best wishes.

  22. I havent been divorced but aspects of your situation are so relatable to things Ive experience in the dating world as well. Im glad you shared your story. It brings validation to others that we are not alone. I think when you said him and God dont talk was sort of the key right there. When a guy cuts off his relationship with God…it opens the door for Satan to take ground, lie to the person, and deceive them. Satan brings in pride, to make people believe they can do whatever they want, that they are their own God and that theres no consequences for that. He comes to steal, kill, and destroy. It open a door to rebellion right? Once a person rebels against God, it opens the door to rebel against others, like their spouse and others. A really good book to read is called…Why does he do that? By lundy bancroft. He talks about how abuse comes from mens sense of "entitlement". Which i think roots from pride which i think roots from rebellion against God. Entitlement makes you feel like you can do whatever you want with no consequences. Whats sad is with time these men unfortunately often realize those affairs dont work out, theyve lost a good woman, and theres no way to retrieve her back. I think often this realization takes awhile there…like after men turn 50 or 60 when they really want to have a solid family built with everyone coming over at christmas but yet your realize youve ruined it long ago. When i see you tell your story i feel like i can see my younger self. My guess is that fear you had to ask about who he was talking to in those text messages and the fear to confront him will fade with time as you gain confidence and experience. Him cheating was NOT your fault. Its not a "was i good enough issue" …its his own integrity issue. Because theyll always be some cute someone out there right? But each person in a relationship has to have the integrity to stay respectful and committed. Often cheaters will cheat on a fabulously good looking spouse. And you are beautiful! So you were 100% good enough. Im assuming your ex was pretty young…and from my experience men dont seem to have more maturity under their belt till more like around 40. That is not say that a man in his 20’s cant be fabulous in a relationship, i just havent seen it often nor did i experience it.

  23. The term is "the jist of it," not "the just of it." You’re gorgeous and when you’re ready for love again, there’s a good man out there just waiting for you. As an 81-year-old great-grandmother who’s been married for 34 plus years with three divorces in my past, I just want to say that it seems to me you have been cursed with the worst lack of self-esteem that I could ever imagine. I hope this experience brings you out of that and into a world of self-confidence and the knowledge that you, young lady, are deserving of love, respect, fidelity, and a happy life. Trust yourself.

  24. There is such a thing as being too nice! A wife has a right to know. He’s a liar and your a nice girl. These things happens all the time. You have integrity he doesn’t. Move on, take the lessons and be grateful for second chances, and that your young enough to start over. Stop blaming yourself or feeling embarrassed. No one really knows what their getting into, we all “take a chance” in relationships. I’m sure that if you questioned him he would has gaslit you and caused you more pain. I’ll bet he has a serious personality disorder for doing what he did to you. You are healthy by looking at your part, but it seems a bit too hard on yourself. It’s his problem not yours!

  25. I happened upon your video. I lived what you lived, but was married 21 years. The inhumanity of gaslighting is guilt that the person not cheating carries. I am 2 years gone from him and 1 year divorced. I just moved out into my own place and finished counseling back in June.
    It’s a long road to safety marred with many trust issues but I have dated and understand on this side of it that he is the only one that can fix himself, it will never be the next woman. The cycle will continue for them, However, for us….it’s about happiness and hopefulness and a new way of looking at each day knowing you get to decide for yourself and you get to enjoy life again. Stay in the sunshine and stop to smell the roses! Best of luck to you on your journey and I’m so glad I watched you!💜

  26. Thanks for sharing. As you said you were young and inexperienced when you got married and evil will always steal! Satan and co. are thieves and through the lures of the enemy, your ex who had lost his way, had no defense against the enemy. God is always good and your ex will find refuge again in the Lord when he realises what forces are at work. Your job is to forgive because bitterness is a seed of the enemy that will grow in your life if you allow it to. We are all sinners and Jesus died for our sins so sins aside armouring yourself is what your focus should be as well as praying for your ex untill God’s Grace restores you both albeit seperated, your job is not over and God made you his wife so you could fight for him back from the enemy. Fight for his soul not the marriage. Ephesians 6.11 – Put on the full armour of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the Devil.

  27. Men, do not hesitate for one moment to put a restraining order against your female partner if you feel your safety and health is in jeopardy. Placing a permanent restraining order on my female partner was absolutely the wisest protective move of my adult lifetime. My only regret is not doing it years earlier. Men, be safe!

  28. What type of husband who don’t support his wife when she’s sick and has problems? And go on vacation without her !

  29. The person you chose. That decision is at fault. Outside of that, changing yourself will only create bitterness. Accept that choice as a wrong one and bring that whole person “You” every day. There was only one wrong. Your pick. You are amazing!

  30. That guy was a complete asshole. Repeat that like a mantra girl! He cheated on you!!! And within so little time of being married. WOW.

  31. God gave us instinct for a reason girl always always always trust you know you the best if my mother EVER taught me anything important it was this always trust you gut instincts you’re strong Christian girl you have to trust That God will always guide you

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