The Real Reason for Marriage – Prof. Jordan Peterson

The Real Reason for Marriage – Prof. Jordan Peterson

Jordan Peterson is a Canadian clinical psychologist, author and psychology professor at the University of Toronto. In this excerpt of his lecture series “Maps of Meaning” he shares his insightful views on the reasons for marriage and makes a strong but not uncontroversial case against divorce. Head over to Dr. Peterson’s own YouTube channel for his full lectures:

This clip is an excerpt of “2017 Maps of Meaning 6: Story and Metastory (Part 2)”:

You may also be interested to know that Jordan B. Peterson’s book “12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos” is finally available. You can find it here: (US) (UK) (CA)

Don’t miss out on his best selling first book “Maps of Meaning: The Architecture of Belief” which much of his lecture material is based on: (US) (UK) (CA)

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  1. If you want an LTR and kids, it is essential that you find a way to cut the family court out of the equation. Your life depends on it.

  2. If your a man I will give you the best marriage advice your every going to get, don’t get married.

  3. Thanks anyway, doc. I’ve never been married, have no kids and no desire for either. Patriarchy just isn’t for me.

  4. My parents divorced and are still friends, im very happy that it went well and that they still have contact.

  5. Man, that part about unconsciously pulling mommy away from her kids so she comes and plays GF with stepBF, that part really hurts people all around. I mean, its mommy wearing way too many hats and getting burnt out, while her kids are discovering they don’t like this new big kid … Stewie, in Nickelodeon’s Rugrats when the dad hits his head and turns into a 2 1/3 yearold. Thank you for splicing that and sharing. Peace men of Pan!

  6. My soul mate is the woman who won’t divorce rape me and clear out my bank account and walk away with my house.

  7. I can’t believe he said it because it’s hard to care for a child who is not yours

    Oh people watch one sad video of children and they say they will adopt them and care for them
    Till what when they shit their pants
    Maybe are too wild
    Possibly a bully at school
    Very demanding
    I am sorry

  8. TThe moment i had children was the moment when i wanted to leave my husband suddenly all my problems with hi ere things that would effet the kids and i wanted to look for some way to to get inot a situation in whihc i was less likely to be doen down intellectually and morally, morally normally being to say, she does not do her bit. Women need to bring money home it is the proof they have doe their bit.
    They ask us to be king¡d to poor men who might be upset if we leave and in the end it is the children who are what one needs to be kind too.
    I htink hte church does itsl evel best to try and make divorced people look unhappy gay people too. They iwll fake things to back up their own opinion. HTe thing is to twist peoples arms.
    The motivation to solve a problem is so as not to suffer from divorce. There is no mnotivation without divorce.

  9. He has a point in the first part in that you can’t leave as easily. However, you can still leave. That’s the point he misses. His notion that marriage forces you to stay together for the rest of your lives is very romanticized. The difference with marriage is just that as a consequence one or both of you are going to be poor. He says it himself.

  10. Marriage is a great but expensive decision.It costs a lot of money and it takes a lot of trust between other.

  11. Very often. mens identity is bound up in not talking to their wives and maybe you need to divorce till that changes for all women in the world.
    Men seem to think they should be the boss in a relationship. Like, when I once worked in a shop, the manegeress did not talk to me unles it was to give an instruction but I did not expect her to I understood about beign an employee but I was told that my husband would love me, so would talk to me.
    You here in this lecture, as a man, are asking to talk about problems, That is not normal. If I think of my parents uncles aunts, friends of these and many of my own friends relationships, I think that the men dont talk of problems in marriage and women walk round behind them trying to talk. You are a woman it sometimes seems to me, or as a man are a psychiatrist, so are really different from the norm.
    I feared that my husband would put my children against me would make them think tha tI was not worth talking to and he did and and persuaded myself that such a fear was paranoic but now I am sIxty seven and I know that my worst fears come true as well as my hopes.
    it has taken nine years to get respected by them Long and hard but worth it.
    I even think that my husbad made cold and aloof love to me because had he been friendly, then it might have been hard to turn cold and aloof as a man must be during the day. Is that why some people seem to think men need prostitutes, because they feel they cannot be expressive in their married life they are keeping hold of the rains of the family instead of being expressuve, joyful and kind in sex so they need good sex somewhere else?
    Women have to divorce for hteir daughters sake, then men might try harder. It is like war it might hurt but it is necessary.
    Women ought not to ask men to do the plates, they ought to ask them to talk to them in all the ways taht make converstion useful. To help them through problems, comfort and wind them down and they should talk intellectually: Being with men once married which seems to put all men off talking to one seriously, is terrible, Women go to school and enjoy learnig history and literature and then spend your time, as a woman who is married and so who becomes someone to who nothing interesting is said it is really horrible.
    I saw a rabbi who said a princess narried a pooor village man who saw he rlooking sad and grew more potatoes and then mortomatoes but in the end asked her wha twas wrogn and dhe said at my fathers palace there were philosphers:t eem to me that so many women feel like that.
    People who are relatively happy in marriage dont understand those who arent at all.

  12. "What’s the alternative? Everything is mutable and changeable at any given moment".

    No, that’s not the alternative. What an insane statement. Not one of Jordan’s best moments. These kinds of assumptions is his biggest flaw, in my opinion. Another example is his claim that the vow amounts to: "You are trouble. Me too. So we won’t leave, no matter what happens". Nope. Some might think like that, others don’t.

  13. Can you make the torture stop? The sensations that are awful and torturous. Please please otherwise who ever is doing it should face federal prison time . I have had effective birth control since I was 22 years old so why am I being punished? Even though I have been celibate since 2014 because I would have an abortion I have known this since I was a teenager. This isn’t theater and it never was to me I have been made to think I was crazy for the last 12 years!!!! And I am a real person not an actor

  14. If somene says htey want to ge free is tha twhat they really mean or do they mean that they want to be rid of a terrible person who is with them . Life is conditions , you of course wont be free isf you leave.
    I always think when people hate divorce taht whateever their problems they are people who are happy in their marriage.

  15. Marriage is something beyond our expression; it is sacred to elevate your thing beyond what you imagine could be priceless. how can you separate Sisyphus from his thing ….the cost you paid is called is Jesus;priceless sacrifice you ever paid to have existential anchoring in your life ….marriage is practical, not spoken matter

  16. Can you believe people really believe marriage is a patriarchal construct for male validation and misogyny with no benefits for women. What a sad generation of foolish radical feminists.

  17. Jordan, your use of the term, “God damn,” or “God damned” distracts me and diminishes your message.

  18. One problem with marriage is no one helps you wit it, They are so afraid that if they back up the wife, whose position is often weaker than a mans, so she is less likely to leave. YOU talk of ha sacrement or some such do you think priests helpwith marriage? THe churches idea seems to be that you should fight with your husbad as you say dort it out but without giving you any back up, without letting the husband who is more powerful see that there are people who do value you around. They are idiots and mean ones as usual they just reduce the power of the weak. They ask the sculllery maid to fight with the lord All gettign the wife to fight without improving her position does is vastly worsen the wifes position with her kids fo rbeing a flamimg nuiscance: worsen
    If there was no vow then your husband might have to try:. Having a vow turns marriage into a monopoly you can do whatever you want to your spouse.

  19. Thank you Dr Peterson, you saved my relationship with my gf. We had an argument few days ago and I wanted to leave because as you mentioned, it is a lot easier to leave than to fix the problem.

    I watched your video after our argument and realized that I should fix my problem instead of leaving and ending the relationship.

    We are together again~! Stronger than ever.

    Best wishes,

  20. See the ID?? Whoever is doing this should either burn me at the stake or crucify me until death

  21. Lack of that kind of commitment in marriage is like asking me to invest in a company that may fold in a few years…. why would i?

  22. Under gynocentric marriage laws (male slav3ry), a wife failure can leave for any/no/idiotic reasons and initiate divorce because they are paid to do so. To claim that marriage is "for life" today is disingenuous. Sign a contract that lets strangers decide that the man has to leave his own home and pay an extortion fee to see his own children? Idiotic concept when the fee male is under zero burden of performance and is rewarded for being a wife failure/vow breaker.

  23. He makes a strong argument, but at the same time people take huge chances getting married, and I’m still not sure it’s worth it. Divorce, cheating, abuse and so on are huge risk.

  24. 70% – 80% of divorces are initiated by women. And having to deal with the divorce courts…. Why would a man get married today?

  25. "Marriage vow", "sacred act" are just a christian thing. And christianity is dying.
    In american law, as in Judaism and Islam btw, marriage is just a contract between two contractual partners.

  26. if you’re with a woman who, at the slightest hardship between you both, you’d go "Nah, sod this", but some contractual agreement is what got you to stay together…..surely that’s just proof that you’re with the wrong woman?

  27. Ive wanted to be married since childhood, but im so afraid now of being with someone with a monstrous side and only finding out when its too late. I try to look for a guy id think would make a good father and a good husband, but when you start looking in that way, outside of simple attraction, it becomes a lot harder to find anyone you would even entertain, let alone commit to. There is a huge sphere of paranoia among many young women of never being able to trust a man enough to marry him….i wonder if there is any viable solution to this. We grow up seeing all these murder mysteries and divorces and all these horrific stories of betrayal between people….its a difficult thing to shake off

  28. There are 2 marriages. One of the church which is false. The other men creating with Nature in the womb of this wife and life as the fruits of their marriage. We are waking to Mama Natures wisdom. Truly defeats the knowledge man receives from Sarapis.

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