The Reality of Having an Affair
Jackie and Bobby explain how marriages can escape infidelity.
Maybe you’ve heard some statistics about the amount of spouses that cheat in their relationships. They’re not good. For Catholics, our idea of cheating is a bit broader than the secular world’s view, which can make it even scarier to discern marriage. It’s not an easy undertaking, but there are a few things we can do to strengthen our discipline and avoid infidelity in our relationships.
The first thing we need to realize is that everyone has the capacity for great good and great evil. We are all fallen human beings, prone to sin. It’s only through the grace of God that we are given strength to withstand temptations.
Because we have this natural capacity for temptation and sin, we need to take infidelity seriously. The world may tell you that pleasure is the highest good and that sex isn’t actually important, but not only are these ideas untrue, but they directly undermine the sacrament of matrimony.. Catholicism shows us that sex is not just about pleasure, but it’s a communion of souls with the beloved, and is meant to mirror the sacrificial love that Christ has for his Church. Treating sex as just another activity can lead us into believing that doing so outside of marriage, or with someone who is not our spouse, isn’t that big of a deal.
Another way we can fight against infidelity is to know ourselves and know our temptations. We all have certain triggers. The more we know how to avoid the near occasion of sin, the better we can fight temptations that come our way. Communication with your spouse is another huge part of this. Most affairs or temptations occur when tensions are high with your spouse. Seeking to communicate through frustrations and bumps in your marriage can help strengthen your bond.
Lastly, it’s important to remember that God’s grace is greater than any sin. It’s not impossible for a marriage to continue after an affair. The devil is constantly looking for any opportunity to separate what God has brought together. If we strive through prayer to be better, for the sake of the souls around us, there’s no trial that can’t be conquered through the mercy of God.
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Women cheat quite a bit too. Pretty lame that she starts off citing % of men who cheat.
I searched it up because i was conceived in an unequally yoked adultery (Divorced christian father snd divorced unbeliever mother)
Don’t get close to it or indeed you will do it.
"It’s good for a man not to touch a women"
– 1 Corinthians 7 : 1
The next verse and the entire chapter is just brilliant. Only holy spirit could put such a wisdom into Saint Paul.
Youngsters, kindly memorize
1 Corinthians 7.
"As if I’m going to spontaneously combust…" 😂 love this line
I like to hear a good Catholic Man’s perspective on this topic, it reminds me that these men exist. The wife’s comment on sex being a "precursor to Heaven" was a bit much though…🤔 Kind of made it seem like it’s this special club married people get to be in…but the Unity with God part was I think what she was trying to articulate, which is Church teaching. Just didn’t love her wording…it was a bit off for me.
You are amazing.
God bless you 😇
Actually helped a lot… helped me realize a lot more stuff in jus a lil over 8 minutes. Thank yall
My parents didn’t cheat and other couples that I know. I’ve been tempted because my husband can make me feel like I am nothing at times. He has been working with me on this.
The divorce and remarriage for adultery doctrine is based solely on the supposed guilt of the wife in Matthew 5:32, and Matthew 19:9. However, the wife in Matthew 5:31-32 is clearly not guilty of fornication because the Jews that Jesus was speaking to were still living under the law, and if fornication was discovered, there was a moral obligation to report the offender according to Deuteronomy 22:13-24. The wife, who would have been found guilty of fornication, was subsequently stoned to death, according to the law, which had still governed the Jews up until Christ’s death on the cross. The same for a woman caught in adultery, according to Leviticus 20:10. How could a wife, guilty of fornication, or adultery, under the law of Moses, be given a writing of divorcement and be caused to commit adultery with whosoever marries her, that is divorced? Jesus is clear, in these examples, that the wife is not guilty of fornication, but is still caused to commit adultery if she marries another man now that she is divorced. This is the only way that Matthew 5:31-32, and Matthew 19:9 keep harmony with Romans 7:2-3, and 1 Corinthians 7:39.
Unlike the synoptic gospels of Mark and Luke, which were written to evangelize the Gentiles, Matthew was written to the Jews, and has of 24 characteristics that identify it as intended for the house of Israel.
The ancient Jews called the betrothed (engaged) "husband" and "wife" according to Deuteronomy 22:23-24, Matthew 1:18-25, and Luke 2:5-7.
Deuteronomy 24:1-4 (Moses’s precept of divorce and remarriage) was never for fornication or adultery. Allowing those guilty of fornication and adultery to remain living and become a prospect for remarriage was against the law of Moses in Deuteronomy 22:13-24 and Leviticus 20:10, which commanded that those who were found guilty of fornication and adultery be put away from Israel, and stoned to death.
The law of Moses was not given to the world, only to the Jews. From the exodus, to Christ’s death on the cross, the law of Moses governed the Jewish people. But when Jesus died on the cross, he caused the Jews to be dead to the law of Moses so they could be joined to Christ under a New Covenant. This is what Jesus’s fulfillment of the law of Moses, including Deuteronomy 24:1-4 (Moses’s precept of divorce and remarriage), means. Paul gave several warnings to Christian believers against keeping the law of Moses over following Christ and his commands under the New Covenant with Christ. Keeping the whole law is no longer possible for those in Israel and that is why Christ prophesied that the temple would be destroyed. These scriptures make it clear that if you choose the law over Christ, that you must keep the whole law: Romans 7:4, Galatians 3:1-9, Galatians 3:10-29, Galatians 4:1-7, Galatians 4:21-31, and Galatians 5:1-15.
Being unequally yoked to unbelievers is not a cause for divorce, once two become one-flesh in a covenant of marriage, according to 1 Corinthians 7:12-14. Many one-flesh covenant marriages between unbelievers are recognized by God in the scriptures, most notably the marriage covenants between Herodias and King Herod’s brother Philip, Potiphar and his wife, Ahab and Jezebel, and Ruth to her deceased husband Mahlon by Boaz when he took her to be his wife.
Some are teaching that 1 Corinthians 7:15 implies that those who are abandoned by the unbeliever, are "no longer bound" in a one-flesh covenant of marriage. The reason this is in conflict is due to the way they word it, which gives it an entirely different meaning, and context. 1 Corinthians 7:15, says, "15But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace." As you can see, the actual scripture says "not under bondage," which means that the husband or wife is not enslaved to sin with the unbelieving spouse, and is free to worship Christ in peace. Subsequent translations have changed the words to imply that they nullify the marriage covenant, when this is not at all the case. The issue that this creates is with 1 Corinthians 7:10-11, which says, "10And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: 11But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife." As you can see, those who claim 1 Corinthians 7:15 has the Apostle Paul giving permission to remarry do not understand that the abandoned husband in 1 Corinthians 7:11 is expected to also remain unmarried, in order to be reconciled with his wife. The theory that 1 Corinthians 7:15 nullifies two as being one-flesh in marriage puts the Apostle Paul directly at odds with Christ, by implying that he has issued an opposing command.
Some also teach that 1 Corinthians 7:27-28 is referring to both divorced men and virgin women, and not exclusively to men and women (virgins) who have never been married. This has been falsely taught for some time in churches as referring to anyone who is not currently in a marriage, which, for them, also includes those who are divorced. This is a very false assumption, and puts these verses in a different context, that is at odds with both the teachings of Christ and the apostle Paul. We see Paul refer to virgins, which signifies the unmarried who have never before been wed, which is the proper context here. We see Paul saying clearly that it is good for virgins, which is also speaking to never before wed men here, "that it is good for a man so to be." He goes on to say, "Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife." Who is he referring to here? Men who, like himself, have never married. The word "bound", in these verses, is a clear reference to betrothal (engagement) and not to a one-flesh covenant of marriage. The ancient Jews were considered bound as husband and wife during the betrothal (espousal/engagement) before becoming one-flesh in a covenant of marriage, through consummation. This is affirmed by the context of the term "bound" seen in Numbers 30:14-16.
The Jewish couples in ancient Israel, who were betrothed (engaged) were also bound together until death, either by execution for fornication, or by other causes. Then Paul says, "But and if thou marry, thou has not sinned", which is who? The men who had never married in the congregation at Corinth. So he begins with verses 25-26 speaking exclusively to men that have never married. Paul then says, "and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned", which is speaking directly in regard to virgin women who have never been married, within the congregation, not divorced women. Notice that verse 34 says, "There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband." Paul speaks plainly when he says "there is a difference between a wife and a virgin." Paul goes on to say, "But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry." This is speaking of a virgin who has become of age to bear children when it says, "let them marry." This is a clear command, to a single man, who has taken a virgin to be his wife. Paul then says, "Nevertheless he that standeth stedfast in his heart, having no necessity, but hath power over his own will, and hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin, doeth well." This is referring again to the single man who decides it is better not to marry, but to stay betrothed (engaged), under the present distress, by saying that he "hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin." Paul then says, "So then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better", which again means single men, in the congregation, who have betrothed a wife, do well if they marry, and those who choose not to marry their virgin brides do better, under the current climate. For more proper context of the word "bound", let’s look further down in this chapter to verse 39, which says, "39The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord" (1 Corinthians 7:39). For so long, these scriptures, between verses 25-38, have been twisted and used to enable divorce and remarriage, by wayward churches and teachers, and have caused many to stumble and to be trapped in unscriptural unions.
The use of the woman at the well, in regard to marriage, falsely implies that Christ was endorsing remarriage after a divorce. This teaching is in defiance of Matthew 22:23-28, which shows a woman who had been widowed seven times, and entered into each subsequent marriage without any scriptural conflicts with God’s law of marriage (one-flesh covenant) seen in Genesis 2:23-24.
Mark 10:1-12 and Matthew 19:1-12 both record Christ’s teaching that day beyond the Jordan. There is no mention of the words "fornication", "writing of divorcement", or "divorced" in Mark’s Gospel, because Mark was not written to the Jews (as Matthew’s Gospel was), but to evangelize the Romans and Greeks, who had no knowledge of the law of Moses in Deuteronomy 22 or Deuteronomy 24. All of these facts draw a clear understanding that remarriage after a divorce, under the New Covenant with Christ, is a scripturally false and baseless teaching. Please use wisdom when living in any situation against what the scriptures command.
51 years of marriage. No cheating.
thank you I’ll pray for you! you bet! thank you for the informative video that was great! you’re so open & honest. so refreshing. my husband & I are looking for more of your videos right now
2:05
Seriously?
What if it’s habitual?
What if it’s habitual?
For selfish people even the smallest thing will make them justify betrayal
Thank you! This video also helps us single people to discern a potential spouse better… As, marriage will take a lot of work and self sacrifice..
Thanks for the video…God bless u both and your family…. I’ll remember this when i get married…. Marriage and sex is sacred…people should know that..👍👍
Monogamy is miserable.
Cheating is greed. It goes hand-in-hand with chronic lying. Betrayal shows a level of hatred for your spouse and a complete lack of respect or empathy for them. How can a marriage become stronger after that? The warfare between spouses can die down but there will never be complete trust again. Perhaps tolerable for some but now a marriage in name only. Now we are left with an arrangement for the benefit of the children. Not a marriage, just an arrangement.
This is way too religious for the common person! What if you’re not happy in your situation!?!? What if u find love outside of marriage!?!?
Speaking of holy marriages. Do you guys know Saint Giana Molla and her husband B. Pietro Molla? If not, it is fantastic reading. Plus a modern example of how to love a joyful marriage!
Please pray for me and my fiance💗
It’s easy to judge people. Your better off forgiving and moving on with your life.
Most favourite fellows in Word on Fire Institute❤️
Why have I never noticed that Bobby looks like Aaron Rogers
I have this expirience within my Wife’s infidelity, it hurts alot knowing that i lost the sacrment of marriage, how often she mssg me in Caps lock words, sometimes i wonder why the cheater is so very brave for i was thinkin thhat i should be th one who needs to be angry but my wife’s more angrier than me, but what i do for 2 years is i pray for her spiritual strenght and moral values, i should care for her soul inspite the pain she’s givin me and my Daughter
When You start feeling alone in your marriage, That is probably going to be the time you start looking for companionship elsewhere….
Certain career paths will have you feeling this way real quick; Military (long deployments), truck driving (OTR), etc….
If you think it’s hard to leave a relationship, but you are experiencing any sign of infidelity you need to say to yourself, “I can do better,” and just leave. I had no choice but to contact a professional tech guy who I got introduced to by my friend, he helped me hack my partners phone and I found out he was cheating , I even got to see his deleted messages, pictures and videos. I had no choice but to confront him and leave the relationship Because it became too toxic for me. I know someday I would find the right man for me. Incase you need the same service from the professional tech guy , you can contact him through Gmail : cyberhackanswers @ gmail. com or Text/WhatsApp: +1 626 578 5544, or send him a dm on instagram @blonde_hacker_ infidelity hurts.
stating what you want him to do, he’s affordable. No one deserves to be cheated on. i confronted him . At first it hurt so much, but then suddenly, I felt free and good. Trust me, it’ll feel a lot better once you accept that the relationship is over.
‘]/;;’];.;’]'[;’;
There is going to be a trust issue for the aggrieved partner to overcome, when an adulterous partner wants to make the marriage work again. This can actually cause stress on both sides especially if the adultery happened in the office and the offender continues working there.
I also notice that nowadays people do not respect marriages, are opportunistic and would not think twice to try and get with a married person. They use sweet-talking, ego-boosting complimenting to achieve their aims. Most of the time, the opportunities present themselves during office parties or pub outings where drinks are flowing and drugs are likely to be consumed, as is very common nowadays.
Thank you two. God bless you.
I was going to tell you about all the drama at the convent, but then remembered it’s nun of your business. HAHAHA. I love this channel. If you want, head over to my channel to see even more Catholic videos!
Certainly agree with the criticism of the cultural influence on our views on sex. But I think we often blame the culture too much. I say this because infidelity has been around from time immemorial. It’s nothing new. And it has existed even within religious cultures.
There are a number of deeper issues. "The grass is greener on the other side" mentality is something that tempts us all in various ways. Our sense of commitment is something that has to be cultivated and practiced. It’s natural to want out when things aren’t going the way we want. But commitment means forgoing that prerogative. It’s unnatural. It’s a supernatural ability that must be cultivated. It means deciding that I will do something because I am convinced it’s right, regardless of what my partner may or may not decide to do. Commitment is an active process. Marriage isn’t a passive undertaking. You can’t just get married and relax, putting forth no spiritual and relational effort. Good marriages don’t just happen. They must be tended, and recommited to daily.
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It’s easy when you have two people working on it together
I’ve never had any desire or inclination to cheat on my husband.
You guys are awesome! ☺️
A cheater is always a cheater
What if your spouse is not healthy, boring, not engaged, mismatched. Our foretaste of heaven is quite difficult, lonely and without hope. Its great when a beautiful, healthy couple like Jackie and Bobby make videos, telling those of us who live in weak marriages that this is all our lives will be. Such arrogance.
.. I suspected my wife of cheating on me but I never had any proof. This went on for months, I didn’t know what to do. i was so paranoid and decided to find a solution, i saw a recommendation about a PI/Hacker and decided to contact him. I explained the situation about my wife to him and he said he was going to help me.I gave him all the informations he required and afterwards i received all my wife’s phones Text messages and calls, I was hurt when i saw a picture of my wife and her lover. I feel so bad about infidelity. but i am glad Mr james was able to help me get all this information, if you need help,you can contact him through Gmail : Worldcyberhackers or WhatsApp: +1 (267) 877‑3020, infidelity hurts
"It was just casual sex."
I’ve heard this too. Not true. Really hurts. Trust me!
"If someone has cheated in marriage that it is possible to have healthier marriage in the other side of that."
Absolutely!
THANK YOU for making this video J & B! I never thought my beautiful bride would have an affair (multiple times in fact). The pain I experienced as the spouse was unbearable at times. But during that time I prayed more than I ever did; in part because I needed God’s grace & the wisdom, and I had no friends/family around me to moral support.
If you’re reading this and you’re currently going through this in your marriage, I’m here to tell you it gets better. Yes you’re emotionally numb, physically hurting. But through God’s grace we persevered and our marriage is better now. Pray, pray, pray 🙏.
💯🕊
My wife was ill for over 10 yrs before she died . We were married over 40 yrs and our love was special.I just didn’t love her but was in love with her even more than the day we were married. After a yr or so my sons said dad we don’t care if you find someone. I guess they were giving me their approval. I told them, I loved their mom so much that I could never even kiss another woman and I meant that. I’m so thankful for the time we had togther! Everytime I looked at her I thought boy I married way above me. She could of ran around and had almost any man she wanted. I quess this why I sat thousands of hours holding her. What an earthly angel !! When death is at your door the years of faithfulness is a blessing and a comfort. I miss you so much my love and I hope the Lord will bring you to me in the next life.
P.S I wasn’t sure if I believed in God all my life until one day when I took my wife for a walk. Something happened that I will share at some point.
Thanks for the video…God bless u both and your family…. I’ll remember this when i get married…. Marriage and sex is sacred…people should know that..👍👍
So you almost encouraged cheating by saying that it actually can solidify marriage.
start speaking of the devil – im outta here..
❤❤❤
If you think it’s hard to leave a relationship, but you are experiencing any sign of infidelity you need to say to yourself, “I can do better,” and just leave. I had no choice but to contact a professional tech guy who I got introduced to by my friend, he helped me hack my partners phone and I found out he was cheating , I even got to see his deleted messages, pictures and videos. I had no choice but to confront him and leave the relationship Because it became too toxic for me. I know someday I would find the right man for me. Incase you need the same service from the professional tech guy , you can contact him through Gmail : cyberhackanswers @ gmail. com or Text/WhatsApp: +1 626 578 5544, or send him a dm on instagram @blonde_hacker_ infidelity hurts.
stating what you want him to do, he’s affordable. No one deserves to be cheated on. i confronted him . At first it hurt so much, but then suddenly, I felt free and good. Trust me, it’ll feel a lot better once you accept that the relationship is over.
]’;’]’
Fr Jonathan you are really opening our hearts l am sure with practical insights for a holier preparation for Advent.examples of daily ordinary things to such a spiritual boost.
One better than the other.cant wait for tomorrw.
Tune in to Pauline Christmas Concert tonight on YOUTUBE
"HOME FOR CHRISTMAS" IT IS NOW VIRAL because…….
.
I’ve been married 35 years never cheated , and I can say a third of our marriage was good , never had a lot IN common and not from a lack of trying.