What Representing Men in Divorce Taught Me About Fatherhood | Marilyn York | TEDxUniversityofNevada

What Representing Men in Divorce Taught Me About Fatherhood | Marilyn York | TEDxUniversityofNevada

Attorney Marilyn York owns a Menโ€™s Rights Family Law Firm in Reno Nevada, established in 2001. She and her ten female employees focus on representing men for two reasons: 1. As her talk explains, fathers are crucial in the upbringing and development of their children; and 2. Fathers are the disadvantaged parent in family court and society and while the laws are improving, the statistics are not. There are currently more than 17,000,000 children growing up in America without their fathers and every year this number is growing. According to the Center for Disease Control, children from fatherless homes account for 90% of homeless and runaway children; 71% of high school dropouts and 63% of youth suicides. Listen to this talk to find out how you can help America’s 17,000,000 fatherless children avoid these fates! Marilyn D. York is a Men’s Rights Divorce Attorney, licensed in California since 1998 and Nevada since 1999, where she is a Certified Family Law Specialist. Since 2001, Marilyn has owned her law firm in Reno, Nevada, where she and her 9 female employees specifically represent men in divorce and family law battles. Marilyn chose her career because of her passion for children and relationships but most of all, Marilyn is driven to help underdogs. While the laws are improving for men, not all laws are yet gender equal and the interpretation and enforcement of those that are, have a long way to go. Despite her focus on representing men, Marilyn has a deep compassion for women in need as well. It isn’t lost on Marilyn that women remain disadvantaged outside Family Court. She serves that need as Board President for a local housing program for homeless young women, Nevada Youth Empowerment Project, or NYEP. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx


  1. 70 percent of career convicts are raised by single mothers and the majority of rapists. Interesting right?

  2. Naaaah, courts love dads! ๐Ÿ’˜ my kids absent dad has been collared for maintenance after 5 years and he suddenly wants to be dad of the year! He gave me all sorts of hard drama and when I stood up for my daughter and me he has played a massive victim and I am having to unpick all his lies!!!! The courts and cafcass have taken him at face value and I stand accused of parental alienation and withholding our child!โค it won’t last because the facts speak for themselves but I have to really really really prove all the domestic abuse – the courts instantly grant access to children in the UK unless severe criminals. They’re even planning on giving him parental responsibility. Genetic bond. Don’t make me laugh he walked past her over and over until he Had to pay money.

  3. I’m french, my parent got divorce and it was my Mother who i only see during week-end… My father got childcare just because the situation was financialy better for him than my mother, just because it was more confortable for use us to live with my father in terme of money.
    Its kind of sad for my father but also for my mother who wasen’t able to see me all the time.
    It was once I realise the stats of inequality in divorce that I understand the chance of my father to be able to raise me.
    During my childhood, I felt some kind of vacuum in my life, something was missing and it was my mother.
    My sister because of that has become a mother of susbititution but I wasen’t able to express my feeling, i don’t want to talk about what make me anxious and hurt me to my father or my sister. The absence of my mom mayde me keep my fillings inside me and and it ate me up. These is why its importante to have a mother and a father…

  4. It is a scandal. And you can see the outcome of this epidemic discrimination of fathers in the lives of their children. But the greatest scandal is that women can kill their unborn and fathers can not intervene and protect their children. Unfortunately there are also fathers who urge the women to kill the unborn.

  5. Why am I getting ridiculous suggestions like this? I already know men see women as brood mares and free servants, and see their children as personal property.

  6. Government is a large part of this problem. Ostensibly to help mothers and children, government provides strong financial incentives for out of wedlock births, absent fathers and broken homes. These incentives are concentrated and maximized in large cities. Ask why big cities have so many 20-something murderous sociopathic gang members and we’re told that it’s a complicated social phenomenon. What isn’t complicated is that almost every single one of these violent gang members is the product of a government subsidized broken home where the government did a lousy job substituting for the father.

    The first step in fixing urban violent crime and overflowing prisons is to prevent government from paying for fathers to walk away from their children.

  7. The worthless editor suddenly glow because afternoon biosynthetically muddle unto a keen swim. aromatic, fortunate rectangle

  8. I am a single dad with sole custody. I was fired by my employer for looking after my kids.
    My โ€œsupervisorโ€ who did the termination- a female who missed more work than me tending to her kids.

    Nobody gives a single damn about dads.

  9. My father died when i was eight, my mother became both a mother and a father, SHE DID AN AMAZING JOB, What made it harder was my grandmother was an alcoholic, My mother was the best of both parents, I am who i am because she loved us so much. Bruce

  10. Laws disapprove of fathers because its a aid to the society within the US…. fatherless households make some of the easiest to manipulate and have them bend to the will of dominate people… Leave them lost and empty so they can easily be cheap labor and willing to fall on a sword at the behest of the state.. LOL

  11. Is thinking we As men can’t and should not feel emotions and connections with our kids that f up everything… i still remember when i was watching the movie mr nobody and i cryied at one scene when jared Leto meet the love of his Life again. My ex of the time laughed at me for that. It was the Moment i understood she was a cold woman. I’m glad i broke with her. I’m alone since then , It has been 11 years. I can’t really get in a relationship, i’m too much affraid to be used. I would love to have a living wife and kids cause i feel that need beign 30 now to want to protect and mane feel safe my kids and enjoy watching them growing and become adults. I think mothers nurture the kids while the father shield them and prepare them to the rough of Life but now i feel that sometimes just beign a man makes you a monster or something. I choose to be An ermit and stay alone, probably for the rest of my Life but who knows maybe one day things are going to change for me, i just don’t overthink about It.

  12. Who are the people who smashed the "thumbs down?" I’ll tell you…those with bias who will never change their minds regardless of all the facts.

    Family Law is skewed so far to the mother that it is ensured that the pendulum will swing back the other way. We don’t want that. We want equality in the laws.

  13. I remember one time when I was walking with my dad during a rare visitation…and I thought…wow…Im just with my dad doing stuff…I belong here. I remember the feeling of belonging with my father. …. Broken families damage children in ways we simply cant explain in a simple sentence. It just puts this inescapable feeling inside you that…life will never be what it was suppose to…and love is something other people get…but not really you.

  14. I’m not a huge fan of my ex husband and I’d honestly be pretty ambivalent if he fell off the face of the earth, and I think he’s a mediocre father…. but I’d never keep my kids from him. To them he’s the best dad ever and he brings so much to their lives. I don’t regret having kids with him cause he loves them so much and he tries his best.

  15. G O D B L E S S Y O U ! ! !

  16. Great speech. The importance of it is enormous. Unfortunately fxminist zealots continue to undermine fathers rights everywhere they can, yet we can make them fail. Also, I can only feel pity for the 6ฤท souls who disliked this message. They truly aren’t worthy of a father. Peace. โœŒ

  17. Im not sure who she worked with but on the west sde of Chicago the baby coud belong to anyone. I once worked and one man was having babies by 2 women and they were arguing and maing a scene in the hospital. We had to call CPS

  18. The same notion that women can conceal pregnancy and never reveal the father is the same as the one the states โ€˜my body my choiceโ€™ for abortion. There is no true equality.

  19. Love this !!! Such a great video and valid argument for having both parents in the home. I Love my Father. She is right, I have a different bond with my dad than I have with my mom. Thank you for sharing your valuable experience and knowledge on the importance of Fathers in their children’s lives.

  20. Out of wedlock births in a time of unprecedented contraceptives. Rampant Carelessness! And it’s ALL the man’s fault because the woman is ALWAYS the victim.

  21. ๏ดฟูˆูŽุงู„ู…ูุทูŽู„ู‘ูŽู‚ุงุชู ูŠูŽุชูŽุฑูŽุจู‘ูŽุตู†ูŽ ุจูุฃูŽู†ููุณูู‡ูู†ู‘ูŽ ุซูŽู„ุงุซูŽุฉูŽ ู‚ูุฑูˆุกู ูˆูŽู„ุง ูŠูŽุญูู„ู‘ู ู„ูŽู‡ูู†ู‘ูŽ ุฃูŽู† ูŠูŽูƒุชูู…ู†ูŽ ู…ุง ุฎูŽู„ูŽู‚ูŽ ุงู„ู„ู‘ูŽู‡ู ููŠ ุฃูŽุฑุญุงู…ูู‡ูู†ู‘ูŽ ุฅูู† ูƒูู†ู‘ูŽ ูŠูุคู…ูู†ู‘ูŽ ุจูุงู„ู„ู‘ูŽู‡ู ูˆูŽุงู„ูŠูŽูˆู…ู ุงู„ุขุฎูุฑู ูˆูŽุจูุนูˆู„ูŽุชูู‡ูู†ู‘ูŽ ุฃูŽุญูŽู‚ู‘ู ุจูุฑูŽุฏู‘ูู‡ูู†ู‘ูŽ ููŠ ุฐู„ููƒูŽ ุฅูู† ุฃูŽุฑุงุฏูˆุง ุฅูุตู„ุงุญู‹ุง ูˆูŽู„ูŽู‡ูู†ู‘ูŽ ู…ูุซู„ู ุงู„ู‘ูŽุฐูŠ ุนูŽู„ูŽูŠู‡ูู†ู‘ูŽ ุจูุงู„ู…ูŽุนุฑูˆูู ูˆูŽู„ูู„ุฑู‘ูุฌุงู„ู ุนูŽู„ูŽูŠู‡ูู†ู‘ูŽ ุฏูŽุฑูŽุฌูŽุฉูŒ ูˆูŽุงู„ู„ู‘ูŽู‡ู ุนูŽุฒูŠุฒูŒ ุญูŽูƒูŠู…ูŒ๏ดพ
    [ุงู„ุจู‚ุฑุฉ: ูขูขูจ]
    (228) Divorced women remain in waiting [i.e., do not remarry] for three periods,[86] and it is not lawful for them to conceal what Allฤh has created in their wombs if they believe in Allฤh and the Last Day. And their husbands have more right to take them back in this [period] if they want reconciliation.[87] And due to them [i.e., the wives] is similar to what is expected of them, according to what is reasonable.[88] But the men [i.e., husbands] have a degree over them [in responsibility and authority]. And Allฤh is Exalted in Might and Wise.

  22. "Advocating for fathers isn’t about diminishing mothers" – Not enough people understand this

  23. I appreciate this segment. I think it is a crucial conversation to be had. I also enjoyed the way she presented it. She touched on it a bit at the end but its worth really taking a look at what story those sort statistics tell when you consider the fathers loss to imprisonment because of the racially motivated incarceration laws past and present, predatory child support practices, disproportionate police killings, or other challenges that disproportionately impact POC and have driven fathers out of the home. These issues are layered and multiplied when you consider race. Fathers are crucial to the development of children and thus our communities and we should look at all institutions that perpetuate these harms with context.

  24. Correlation is not causation. This is a perfect of example of someone using numbers to fit their narrative rather than being trained in how to collect and read data. There is a lot of data and factors that are being left out of her conclusions.

  25. Please drop the talk of wedlock… it is an unnatural condition that adds undue stress to a family as often as not.

  26. I think that we women need to stop accepting men with flaws and stop giving children to those POS period. That will definitely solve the divorce issue and ALSO solve Earth’s overpopulation crisis. It will be a great thing!!

  27. I hope when we listen to this video, we recognize how crucial it is that she started with, "If you’re a father, make the effort. Do everything you can to be in your children’s daily lives."

    So as we recognize the harms of literally being fatherless, we also recognize the harms of physically having a father there who basically just provides financial support and calls it a day.

    Let us create spaces that allow men to be involved with their children’s lives – legally and as a society who encourages male vulnerability.

  28. The family unit as we once knew it has been destroyed. Sorry to say I am victim of narcissist abuse by a spouse. The answer to a lot of problems today could be solved by a healthy family unit. I’m eluding to the problem in our inner cities

  29. Invitro fertilization, for men who want to be life long Fathers. How did all this occur? =Godless unions. As was once a motto in 50’s TV, the family which prays together, STAYS TOGETHER. But we know it all, why pray. I think Marilyn already discused the virtue. God bless all.

  30. I’ve thought about the hardships that father’s have suffered throughout the years because their rights for their children are always considered lesser than the mother’s. Glad to see there are some that see this problem

  31. I was treated as a criminal by the court system for wanting custody of my children, they took my house, my credit, and my integrity. I prevailed, and have never financially recovered, but I endured, I am a father, and I made it happen.

  32. My parents were divorced a few years back and my dad was terrified of losing me to my mom. My mom didnโ€™t have a job, did drugs and had an alcohol problem, and yet my dad to this day has to pay an alimony if $1K a month and she still is jobless and just living off my dads alimony. Currently on a tropical island hooking up with rich guys. Somehow with all of the things she had done my dad still has to do so much for her.

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