When Is It Time To Divorce?

When Is It Time To Divorce?

Is it time to get a divorce?

This is one of the hardest questions to answer.
But please hear this…

No one else should be making that decision for you.

In this video Kimberly Holmes, CEO of Marriage Helper, shares some very good tips and advice (that you likely have not heard anywhere else!) when it comes to deciding whether or not you should stay in your marriage.

*First, if you are in a position where you aren’t safe, protect yourself. Your safety is the FIRST priority. Physical, mental, or emotional abuse on you or your children requires help immediately. Call the Domestic Violence Hotline at: 1-800-799-7233

If you are safe, but still experiencing a marriage crisis, we can help. In fact, the majority of marriages we work with at Marriage Helper involve affairs, addictions, or irreconcilable differences. So if you don’t have peace about divorce, saying, “It’s not right, I want to make it work. I love my spouse!” then, I encourage you to not just decide to divorce. Don’t move forward if you don’t have peace.

But what if you’re NOT the one pushing for a divorce? Saying, “I’m not the one filing for divorce! My spouse filed and I can’t stop them!” You may not control whether or not you get a divorce, it may happen to you, but it’s not who you are. You can ONLY control yourself.

What can you do?

– Do what helps you become the best you can be
– Do the things that have the BEST possibility of bringing your marriage back; bringing your spouse back
– Start the FREE MINI COURSE: “How To Get Your Spouse Back” here: https://marriagehelper.com/how-to-get-your-spouse-back-mini-course/

If you feel like the ONLY option is divorce, we want to show you there is another way. We have seen and heard every story imaginable. No matter what the crisis is, we know that there is HOPE. People can change.

Learn about the Marriage Turnaround Weekend: https://marriagehelper.com/online-workshop/

If you truly believe, and want to try everything you can to make your marriage work, we’re here to help.

Thank you for watching! Be sure to like, subscribe, share and also turn on the notifications by clicking the bell! We hope you find our videos helpful.

Call: 1 (866) 903 – 0990
Email: @MarriageHelper.com
More Free Resources: https://www.marriagehelper.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarriageHelper/
Instagram: @MarriageHelper
Spreaker: https://www.spreaker.com/user/marriagehelper
Itunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/marriage-helper-helping-your-marriage/id978519992
Follow Kimberly on Instagram: @kimberlybeamholmes
Learn More About PIES University: PIESUniversity.com


  1. My ex might as well have killed me. He has made my life unbearable with his financial abuse. He has looked out for only himself for the 16 years we were together. I cant breathe anymore. It’s been a year since seperating and him filing for divorce. I have nothing and no family or friends to help me.

  2. Married 16yrs, she files for divorce, and tells me I only have 1/2 the vote. In TN all you have to do is file.

  3. Totally agree with you. That is why Jehovah God stated that revenge is His. I have always encouraged women to stay in their marriages despite the pain their husbands have done to them. And this is the basis " what God has yoked together let no man/woman put apart" meaning ONLY God holds the right to end a marriage In Malachi 2vs 16 Jehovah God has stated " For I hate divorce." This all means no matter what happens in your marriage not even the innocent party has the right to put apart what God has yoked together even though the man has done such evil against her. Women initiate divorces most times and they end up being alone for the rest of their lives because they have done what God hates and they end up being the ones punished the most when they take into their hands what they have no right to do. Then because the man has not divorced his wife even though he is the cause of the problems that led to his wife ending the marriage, he gets away with it by being blessed with another woman whilst the woman lives alone to death. I always advise women do not return evil for evil because you never know that the evil you return , you could pay severely for it. Divorce is the worst evil than adultery because it destroys generations as well. Hence, these women suffer the most. Our grandparents stayed in their marriages even though they faced what we face today. Pray for your husband before you pray for yourself so God can help him with wisdom. Maintain your integrity no matter what, it will get better in time. I know it. Allow for forgiveness. Nothing is unforgivable. Even murderers get pardoned

  4. ‘Be the best version of yourself that you can be, regardless of the circumstances’ is the best summary of stoicism I have ever heard.

  5. I am abandoned by my husband because of my breast cancer disease. But God never abandoned me when I am in a good health and bad health. My happy marriage is ending but my happiness in the Lord is forever. I really thank God for that.

  6. Divorce is extremely bad and shameful no matter what the circumstances are as those who had to divorce are insincere in that they couldn’t keep their marital vows also also showed extreme stupidity and idiocy to have married their bad spouses to begin with.

  7. My husband likes to keep shit from me and when I find something say, " I don’t know." With mental health issues with us both he may be right. I don’t know where the sickness and in health begins and when it’s manipulation

  8. You recommend divorce for verbal abuse? And you claim to be a biblical based service? Typical gyno thought. Pick up your bible, let me know where you find the Lord say Divorce is Right IN ANY situation? ANY????? Ill be waiting. "From the beginning it was not so"….."What I have joined let NO MAN separate"……….Seems clear to me.

  9. Some marriages are hopeless I’m in one of those, I 38 years invested My wife has pushed me away to the breaking point where I don’t love her no more and there’s no bringing me back I’ve had it, time to move on.

  10. So what do you do then if they’re in an affair and then fair is getting so serious that they’re even thinking about setting the wedding date and she still ain’t talking to you about anything is going on

  11. 👆🏼👆🏼When we started this I wasn’t sure we could pull this off but you certainly did it..

  12. Its a sin to get divorced regardless of what, always work things out till death do us part… people get divorced to easily today. Many times regret sets in.
    Lawyers just see dollar signs. Fight for it.God hates divorce.Good info.🙏

  13. Women always have the verbal abuse clause from the male. Yet nothing happens for the male counterpart and what they experience during those times. Women don’t always have the best solution and that is obviously not what i am seeing. Men are "never" allowed to to have those options and it is frowned upon, yet we continue to get punished. This is why MEN don’t have any interest in marrying again or if ever.

  14. Why do we get your CV at the beginning? How about jumping into the topic at hand…..oh….more CV….seriously> I am out of here.

  15. 26 yrs I have been faithful to my husband and I claim my faults. He’s done the worst possible to me but I stood by him no matter what cause I love him. But one can’t make a marriage. I feel like I’ve tried with all my heart it kills me to see it’s so easy for him to walk away from 26 yrs. I’ve asked him to tell me the secret of how it’s so easy for him? So I can stop hurting to. Maybe he’s rt it’s all my fault im in the wrong. He’s got me so confused i don’t no where to turn. I hate myself cause I feel maybe I cause it but I have racked my brain I can’t figure it out. So i feel a divorce is my only option Im tired, beat down , drained mentally is there even hope or what? Thank you

  16. These people are just selling. The time to get a divorce is when you no longer desire to be in the marriage- period!

  17. I have been listening to your videos for a while now and they have been helpful a lot, I am learning so much that I wouldn’t have other wise, thank you for giving us hope and for teaching us how we should be as partners, thank you so much and to all the people that are struggling like me, hang in there we will get through this much love and prayers send your way ❤️

  18. We both completely shutdown with each other’s except kids stuffs sigh I don’t know if I still loved him anymore his words and actions are so hurtful

  19. Women divorce whenever they feel like it. Men will wait and wait until the woman finally divorces him. Stop treating marriage like a game. It’s not. There are real life consequences to betrayal and disloyalties.

  20. My wife had an affair with a much younger man, and when I found out I could not handle the despair and hurt of the betrayal. I admit that I lashed out at her verbally and emotionally, because I thought that somehow I could make her hurt as much as she hurt me. Which is perverse, but I was not really a functioning adult at that time. At first, she was 100% committed to reconciliation, but she started seeing a "therapist" who took her down the road of divorce almost from the beginning. I know this from the books she had my wife read, and her attitude toward me changed drastically. The worst part was the several months after she had decided to divorce me (although she kept that secret from me) and went through her "detachment process" (guided by her "therapist") in which she basically treated me like a stranger in my own home. No touching, no contact beyond the bare minimum, used the guest bathroom, put away all jewelry and clothing I had bought her, etc. The emotional torture of this detachment caused a complete mental and emotional breakdown, and I literally spent hours every day sobbing. She showed no emotion, and in fact, I think one part of her enjoyed watching me suffer. Eventually, I was able to collect myself through intense trauma therapy with a great therapist, but at that point she told me she wanted a divorce. My therapist advised me to move out of the house for my emotional health, and I reluctantly did so in July 2020. My moving out caused a sudden change in my wife. She started being nice to me again when I would come get the kids or go to our kids’ events. We would talk and even laugh at times. We still get along when we see each other, but she has basically adopted a no contact mentality towards me. I am pretty sure she is back with her affair partner even though there is almost no chance of a real relationship forming beyond the physical. She told me back in August that even though she has decided to divorce me, that she still loves me. In spite of everything that has happened, I still love her as much or more as I did the day we married. Not being married to her just doesn’t feel right, but she is still committed to the divorce process. Anyway, I really would like to purchase your program and/or hire a counselor through you. Even if I never get her back, I need to at least get me back as a healthier and better version than what I was before. Thank you for your inspiring videos.

  21. I’ve been through emotional and mental abuse that is bringing me down in my mental health. My children see it and they are also being abused in a non obvious way to where all that is within me wants to save them, but I would seem too sensitive or take it the wrong way. But the big mama bear comes out Ina very serious way and I’m full of anxiety. And I’m sick of the cycle of mental abuse.

  22. My husband withholds sex and affection that I don’t bother trying to touch him anymore. How can someone deal with a sexless marriage? It’s really hard to deal with and I feel lonely sick and lost. Am I doomed to get a divorce and I might as well go though with it. Just seems so hopeless right now

  23. 👆🏼👆🏼When we started this I wasn’t sure we could pull this off but you certainly did it..

  24. Been out of rehab 300 days and , I thought it would be better… it’s been nothing but a complete struggle and hateful things being said …..I’m sooooo broke and damaged… guilty on no respect and poor communication…YOU NAILED IT . I feel like cry . I don’t know if it going to be salvageable….

  25. I have written about 20 paragraphs in my notes on shit I hate about my husband to read to my therapist. I’m so miserable and I’m becoming more and more fed up with his BS.

  26. Hi my husband has an affair and we fighting everytine if I ask him bt I found da true from her sister he even get pregnant to dat woman ten he admit it’s true and we ar two he Tel da first wife he doesn’t wnt more children bt he pregrenated another third woman me am da second wife I hv one son I wnt da divorce bt da first wife he forgive him coz he was giving him oils nt to get pregnant for along time until now she has afibros she has to hv an operation bt dat is her decision for me am done he even talk to his mistress Infront of me wat do I wnt more he doesn’t wnt to give me my divorce bt me am done I tnk God am working I can take care of my self and my son my son is 4yrs and three good yes I take care of him my self we work together and everytine he cry he wnt to do tis he wnt to do da bt now I don’t ask him coz if u as anything about money he is looking for a fight

  27. I need to end my marriage, I’m tired, my spouse having problems with spending $$$. But I’m too weak and scared 😟

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