Why Couples Really Fight | MarriageToday | Jimmy Evans, Karen Evans

Why Couples Really Fight | MarriageToday | Jimmy Evans, Karen Evans

When people marry they bring fears into the relationship. Fear causes us to hurt and react to our spouse. Whether it’s a fear of rejection or failure, fear keeps us from intimacy in marriage.

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Jimmy Evans is one of America’s leading experts on family and marriage relationships. He is Founder and CEO of MarriageToday™ and co-host of MarriageToday with Jimmy and Karen, the marriage ministry and national award-winning broadcast that airs to millions of homes each week. A popular church and conference speaker, he has also authored a number of books, including Marriage on the Rock, Our Secret Paradise and The Right One.

50 Comments

  1. Human history started with the women lying and trying to control the man. It never changed. Apostle Paul actually tried to alert men but they didn’t listen. The Bible has lots of stories of women trying to manipulate man. Rebecca in the Bible was a deceiver and liar but people see her with respect. They name their daughters after someone that was a deceiver and lied to her own husband. The woman who did something good and gave all she had in the offering never had her name recorded. The best books I read about relationships were written by non-Christians. Pastors are afraid of telling the truth. They invent more soft reasons for divorce so they will not get in trouble with their wives. I can pretty much tell that Karen tells Jimmy what to say.

  2. Fear is not the reason married couples fight…it’s money and who in the relationship controls it.. whomever makes the most in the marriage usually seeks control.

  3. I am really looking for someone to help my marriage.. even now I am falling my eyes out and he thinks you don’t need any help and I’m all the problem and I’m he has a bad thing with God right now but I don’t force that on him he’s bipolar I’ve been there for him and I know that I’ve done wrong in our relationship and I’m not talking about cheating.. but over a year ago I almost died from hardest shoes that I still have and this man who I’ve tried so hard to make happy it’s never going to be that way. I don’t understand he says he wants better communication and he fought with me just now over me trying to say something about a new puppy we have and her going to the restroom see he spanked her the day before because she peed on the floor and she’s a little tiny thing and I thought she did it again and I just said something about you know when we take her out sometimes she comes back in but if you walk around the backyard with her she’ll stop and go and he just goes off on me about talking and that’s the only thing I said to him this morning. he messages me and starts to big fight again and then won’t even let me say anything except for yes or no are you friends to leave me if I say anything other than that. How can you make it work with somebody who chooses to see only what he perceives is bad.. how do you make it work with somebody where you have sex often four or five times a week and it’s great but there’s nothing anywhere else any other time he seems to hate you. He gives everything good everyone else and then comes home and give the rest of me. And this is the first time since we’ve been together I haven’t worked and there was a 7-year period that he didn’t work and I said care of everything and I had no problem with it he had a back surgery and had a bunch of problems and now he seems to put me below him since he’s paying for stuff and I don’t know what to do I’m already uncomfortable asking him for money or anything and then this on top of it all I want to do is make this man happy along with my marriage I don’t know what to do anymore

  4. Thank you so much for the clear explanations! God bless you! I have a question yet. What should I do, to understand and believe, that whatever was done by my wife is unintentional. Being disrespected is my fear, but I already FEEL, that my wife is disrespecting me. I have experienced her disrespect, in front of our children she occused me number of times of earning not enough, being unable to save money for future, she compared me to other people in our neighbourhood, and I have a dillemma… is it just unintentional behaviour and she doesnt know what she does, because she doesnt know she hurts, or she does that on purpose?

  5. Nothing is much better than having someone you trust and you believe, Have had a lot of friends whom relationships were broken due to unfaithfulness in their relationship. It’s better you really know who your spouse is before he/she turns to the monster in your nightmare. All you have to do is DM this dude on WhatsApp +1 (201) 614-5419. He can track locations and can hack into cellphone number to get informations like text-messages, phone calls,iMessages, WhatsApp chats, instagram, Twitter, Gmail,Facebook, Snapchat and phone gallery e.t.c. Try he out now to get my point he’s 100% legit no regret.

  6. What happens though when you tell your spouse that you are afraid or have certain fears, maybe based on her actions, and or also things that happened in the past done to you by another person, but she doesn’t seem to care either way? She brushes you off, criticizes you, or says your fears are irrational? She offers no apology, for the most part, or attempts to comfort, make adjustments, or empathize…Sometimes the anxiety and disappointment is so debilitating when that happens, Fears just become magnified and even further validated. What do I do and how do I respond to her in that in the most understanding clear way? And how do I respond to myself, who is often then dealing with it alone afterwards when she dismisses it? What is the most Godly and wise way to navigate these situations?

  7. Since the death of my father my uncle have be maltreating me and making me depressed , i almost commented suicide due to the way i was been treated in the family. A few weeks ago when I was discussing with a friend about what I am going through in the family he advised me to reach out to Dr peter that he can help me silence my uncle so i can have my peace in the house , without wasting any time i contacted Dr peter and He helped me silence my uncle with his powerful death spell magic that he cast on my wicked uncle . Since my uncle’s death my family has been peaceful and loving , I now find happiness in everything I do. Revenge at last !!! Thank you Dr Peter . contact Dr peter today for any spell , death spell , love spell , money spell , deliverance spell , healing spell, spell to remove black magic out of your life , family and marriage via His WhatsApp number +2349059610643

  8. My advice to the second question of the wife telling her husband repeatedly what she needs and him not providing it, is to shift the focus off of her husband needing to provide these emotional needs and go into meditation with God. Start depending on God for your emotional needs because He will give you the courage to face yourself and once we start facing ourselves we can start changing ourselves.

    Once we start facing ourselves ( our fears, insecurities, sins ) then we can start breaking the chains of dependency on the external (e.i "Cause and Effect" which tells us we need to depend and wait on something external to happen to us to change our mood, feelings, thoughts, and conditions before we can change these things.) Now God is with us And IN us. Focus on the internal for your needs, other than what the body needs to stay alive ( food, water, shelter, etc. )

    Focus on your relationship with God and yourself and you will start to feel and become more internally stable and secure, noticing your need for others approval or acceptance going down.

    Truly, if we change our thoughts, beliefs, and thought processes we change our lives and it’s contagious, her husband may be convicted to do the same.

    I think the wife needs to become less dependent on her husband and more dependent on her Heavenly Father. As challenging as that may be. God is able to make us whole.

    Depending on a man ( human being ) for our joy and happiness is a dangerous entrapment and isn’t necessarily good because human beings are very flawed and broken and we tend to hurt the ones we love and care about the most. We tend to act out our traumas and past hurts, betrayals, and pains unto those we love the most but becoming God’s love means a transformation and renewel of your mind ( the way you think and feel ) and heart ( what and how you believe ).

    I can relate to what she is going through, that is why I know having such a heavy dependence on your spouse or partner isn’t good nor healthy for us. We are robbing ourselves of our own power and crippling ourselves doing so.

    Would love to hear imput from others on this.

    Thanks.

  9. Thank you. It was so direct! The arrow hit right on my heart. Thank you pastor Evans and sis.Karen. Keep us in prayers.

  10. Nothing is much better than having someone you trust and you believe, Have had a lot of friends whom relationships were broken due to unfaithfulness in their relationship. It’s better you really know who your spouse is before he/she turns to the monster in your nightmare. All you have to do is DM this dude on WhatsApp +1 (201) 614-5419. He can track locations and can hack into cellphone number to get informations like text-messages, phone calls,iMessages, WhatsApp chats, instagram, Twitter, Gmail,Facebook, Snapchat and phone gallery e.t.c. Try he out now to get my point he’s 100% legit no regret.

  11. “Woman is a violent and uncontrolled animal, and it is useless to let go the reins and then expect her not to kick over the traces. You must keep her on a tight rein…. Women want total freedom or rather — to call things by their names — total licence. If you allow them to achieve complete equality with men, do you think they will be easier to live with? Not at all. Once they have achieved equality, they will be your masters.”

    Cato the Elder

    Evans and co preach the devilish equality lie that was already known by pagans centuries ago.
    Because feminism is a very old thing. It started in Eden when Satan came and put the woman in a position of control over the man.
    The beginning of the end.

  12. Nothing is much better than having someone you trust and believe in. I have had many friends whose relationships were broken due to infidelity in their relationship. You better really know who your spouse is before he / she turns into the monster in your nightmare. All you have to do is text this friend on WhatsApp +1 (201) 614-5419. It can track locations and it can hack cell phone number to get information like text messages, phone calls, iMessages, WhatsApp chats, instagram, Twitter, Gmail, Facebook, Snapchat and phone gallery e.t.c. Try it now to get my point that it’s 100% legit, don’t regret it.

  13. Nothing is much better than having someone you trust and you believe, Have had a lot of friends whom relationships were broken due to unfaithfulness in their relationship. It’s better you really know who your spouse is before he/she turns to the monster in your nightmare. All you have to do is DM this dude on WhatsApp +1 (201) 614-5419. He can track locations and can hack into cellphone number to get informations like text-messages, phone calls,iMessages, WhatsApp chats, instagram, Twitter, Gmail,Facebook, Snapchat and phone gallery e.t.c. Try he out now to get my point he’s 100% legit no regret.

  14. Why "Marriage today" ? Why " today " ? Has marriage changed in God’s eyes or is it so called preachers who have turned it into what is not in order to please the feminist spirit of the end time ?
    Adding" today" to marriage speaks volumes.

  15. life and marriage aren’t rocket science, shouldn’t BE this hard. You do what you are SUPPOSED to do, BAM !!! Perfection

  16. Nothing is much better than having someone you trust and believe in. I have had many friends whose relationships were broken due to infidelity in their relationship. You better really know who your spouse is before he / she turns into the monster in your nightmare. All you have to do is text this friend on WhatsApp +1 (201) 614-5419. It can track locations and it can hack cell phone number to get information like text messages, phone calls, iMessages, WhatsApp chats, instagram, Twitter, Gmail, Facebook, Snapchat and phone gallery e.t.c. Try it now to get my point that it’s 100% legit, don’t regret it.

  17. Hello everyone, best spell caster 2020 is Dr Abuu the great wizard from African I want to use this medium to thank him for bringing my ex back to me, he only told me to provide the spiritual items needed for the love spell and which I did, and he also told me that after  getting the items, in 48 hours I will start seeing the result and truly is a man of his words,,, contact him today and get your problem solved. He can help you with any kind of spell casting…. you can reach him on WhatsApp +2348115685795

  18. Amen I think fare is what we are going through my husband always mad at me for no reason. He don’t handle money very well.

  19. Jimmy Evans is one of those feminized coaches disguised as christian who never teaches God’s hierarchy ie
    God head of Christ
    Christ head of man
    Man head of woman

    He lies and deceives people by not telling wives to be submissive to their husbands in everything .
    As a result , relationships are getting more and more conflictual . That is what you reap when you do not set up a hierarchy. It is a mess , a chaos and a blaspheme against the Word of God .

    If wives submitted to their husbands in everything , you really think they would be so many fights ?
    All those treacherous women who bring war in the home instead of peace , joy and harmony , have you seen them in the workplace , subservient to a boss , a head of this , a head of that ? And to their husbands they say "I do as I please" ??
    TREACHERY . PURE EVIL .

    Just take a look at the man you are listening to and how his fallacies have been denounced here :

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DcXenlTQbNk

    And check in the Bible !

  20. My wife has been cheating on me for quite some time not until some one directed me to this guy on IG yotoubespyhacker on IG who help me in tracking her phones GPS and I could read all her texts thanks to yotoubespyhacker for helping me

  21. Nothing is much better than having someone you trust and believe in. I have had many friends whose relationships were broken due to infidelity in their relationship. You better really know who your spouse is before he / she turns into the monster in your nightmare. All you have to do is text this friend on WhatsApp +1 (201) 614-5419. It can track locations and it can hack cell phone number to get information like text messages, phone calls, iMessages, WhatsApp chats, instagram, Twitter, Gmail, Facebook, Snapchat and phone gallery e.t.c. Try it now to get my point that it’s 100% legit, don’t regret it.

  22. Thank you for your ministry. Karen do you realize that you are constantly making acknowledgment noises while Jimmy is speaking. Personally it’s a bit annoying and distracting to the listener. Just my observation.

  23. I just want to say thank you to you Mr. Evan’s and to Mrs. Evan’s for sharing your own struggles within your marriage out in the public for us all to learn from. And I think what you do is amazing and I hope that you achieve your goal of saving one marriage at a time till the world is rid of Divorce.

  24. My wife has been cheating on me for quite some time not until some one directed me to this guy on IG yotoubespyhacker on IG who help me in tracking her phones GPS and I could read all her texts thanks to yotoubespyhacker for helping me

  25. Oh and I have a question. You’ve mentioned at different times stories of couples you counseled. I was wondering if there’s a way my Husband and I can get counseling from you and your wife or just you (however you do it). My name is L iui I live in IL and I know your to far to come in to your office but maybe we can do phone sessions or via Skype?? Please I’m begging you to help my husband and myself. If you think it’s possible then please inbox me. Thanks again

  26. I HEAR YOU, HOWEVER IN MY CASE , IN MY RELATIONSHIP , ITS THE OPISIT WITH MY WIFE. WHOM IS A PESIMIS !! SHE THINKS IAM THE CRAZY ONE , BECAUSE I CHOOSE TO LIVE MY LIFE , IN WHICH I AM AND ALWAYS BEEN AN OPTIMISTIC PERSON , STEPPING OUTSIDE THE BOX. NOT NEGLECTING MY RESPONSIBILITES RAISING OUR DAUGHTER . MY WIFE’S MINDSET IS STUMPPED, COMPARE TO MINE, MY MIND IS FLEXABILE , HECNE MY SPOUSE DOSE NOT GET IT .CORRECTION MY SPOUSE CHOOES NOT TO GET IT !!!

  27. FEAR???? tHIS SOUNDS LIKE SUNDAY SCHOOL FOR KIDS…LOL..Tell that fear talk to our Forefathers and theyd laugh at you.😉Yes Americans have gotten very weak!

  28. FEAR … is in everything … it’s not just marriage. Ask teenagers .. even children … This message is for everyone …

  29. nonsense, fear is not the reason couples fight, a lack of understanding on the WIFE’S part as to what the role of a WIFE is.

  30. “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”
    ‭‭1 John‬ ‭4:18‬ ‭NIV‬‬

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